a bit shocked by teacher

BeenieCat

Yeah it's okay to be sensitive to your own childs sensitive nature, my son is also sensitive. However i see a need for him to 'toughen up' with regard to such comments as i don't think it's good for anyone for him to take everything to heart, especially in the cruel reality of playgrounds.

I know people who constantly pander to their children when they compain about stuff teachers have said and they have a much harder life than i do, as a consequence. Their kids think mummy will always be there to back them up cos they've always gone running to teachers or other parents to defend their kid, but at playtimes they will probably find themselves feeling bullied if they can't be a bit tougher and learn not to take words to heart.

I was always taught "sticks and stones..."

There's a woman in my street who's son is a total brat and always causes fights between kids, but she is always knocking on peoples doors telling other parents the latest "xx has just said that my son can't play with that stick" ...... aaaaaand?? Last time she knocked on my door cos my son had said her child couldn't help him dig in the mud. Looooool. She needs to get a life.
Anyway that's unrelated, sorry, she just bugs me so much And as a result her kid thinks he's invincible and mummy will always be there to 'tell off' other parents or kids just cos he said so!

Deffo not connecting that last story with your kid though, just saying, in general.

tandraig

jeez - you are all seeing things from an adult perspective - try asking a six year old!! and - every mum knows this - teacher is ALWAYS right. and you may have more qualifications than me poet but I had three kids one HDAD and my grandson and nephew both ASD - so I do claim superior Knowledge - from personal experience! and OU excellent grounding for finding things out for yourself - have spent so many hours on net reading papers to inform my very stupid GP who doesnt even believe in ASD I get really annoyed. went through this with so many hospital personel when son was little - yeah it winds me up- i honestly dont mean to upset people - butwhen people assume all kids have a cognitive level appropriate to thier age !!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhh.
I apologise Poet - I shouldnt have attacked you personally - its a subject i feel very strongly about. I know teaching staff are trained these days as ASD and ADHD are much better known now and staff are warned these kids are literal to the nth degree!

poet123

tandraig wrote: »

jeez - you are all seeing things from an adult perspective - try asking a six year old!! and - every mum knows this - teacher is ALWAYS right. and you may have more qualifications than me poet but I had three kids one HDAD and my grandson and nephew both ASD - so I do claim superior Knowledge - from personal experience! and OU excellent grounding for finding things out for yourself - have spent so many hours on net reading papers to inform my very stupid GP who doesnt even believe in ASD I get really annoyed. went through this with so many hospital personel when son was little - yeah it winds me up- i honestly dont mean to upset people - butwhen people assume all kids have a cognitive level appropriate to thier age !!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhh.
I apologise Poet - I shouldnt have attacked you personally - its a subject i feel very strongly about. I know teaching staff are trained these days as ASD and ADHD are much better known now and staff are warned these kids are literal to the nth degree!

I have 4 kids;) and would never have mentioned qualifications had you not referred to them!!

Nowhere did the Op refer to ASD or any similar condition, so, although relevant to you, it is not relevant in this particular situation.

No one is suggesting the child did not take it literally, just that, it is how you react to that perception as a parent which colours the child's view from that point. Laugh it off and it will become a funny story to tell in future years, take it seriously and it will loom very large and may be frightening.

tandraig

I just realized I need to apologise to liney - I was trying to illustrate how kids take what we say literally . sorry liney

I think this thread is hitting me too hard where it hurts so wont post more. OK? OP I think you should have quiet word with teacher or headperson.

tandraig

I just saw your post poet as I was about to go - I take your point. unfortunately I DID see the post from my own perspective. as most posters do. but please take on board that teachers are now being trained on spotting ADHD kids - and even as a grandparent - I wouldnt say to kids I would cut out their tongues - I think thats out of order! Ive apologised - I cant do more.

poet123

I see your point, and you have no need to apologise for viewing the issue personally, we all do it. If the class had included kids with SPLD/the child in question had a SPLD then it would have been an unwise comment, but the OP did not say that was the case.

I assess and support kids with these issues, and a lot of this support takes the form of reassurance that comments are not literal, but figures of speech.

Their lives would, in many cases, be a lot easier as teens, if their parents had taken this tack from the outset instead of allowing issues to become bigger than they are by getting hung up on trivialities. Of course, not all parents of kids with these difficulties do this, but there are many who do, and sadly their kids are the ones less equipped to deal with life.

Savvy_Sue

Actually, in a class of 6 year olds, what are the chances that NONE of them will be predisposed to take such comments literally?

I did have some problems with my eldest struggling to understand what adults said, but while 'laughing it off' may not be enough it's certainly a good idea to get children to appreciate that what's said isn't always meant literally. And that today, teachers are not allowed to hurt children, and do not mean it when they say extreme things like that. But they DO mean it when they ask children to stop talking!

dieselhead

Beenie cat and poet 123 - spot on in my opinion!

I think it all depends on tone of voice, in a similar vien, I know another Brownie Leader who I sometimes help out on pack holiday, her way of dealing with a cut knee or a minor 'plaster needed' type injury is to look at it and say 'cut it off!' now it sounds awful written down in a cold forum like this, but the way she say's it and deals with the situation means a crying child is a giggling one in seconds, and the child happily goes back to playing with a plaster.

Problem is we just don't know how it was said, also children can recognise a parents reaction, and upon noticing a reaction will play on a comment or event which initially didn't bother them.

liney

tandraig wrote: »

I just realized I need to apologise to liney - I was trying to illustrate how kids take what we say literally . sorry liney

I think this thread is hitting me too hard where it hurts so wont post more. OK? OP I think you should have quiet word with teacher or headperson.

Apology accepted: although if we were speaking directly you would have know straight away it was a slip of the tongue because of my body language and tone.

Katie-Kat-Kins

Are you even sure that the teacher actually said this??? Sounds like just the sort of rumour told by older kids to younger ones just starting with a new teacher.

I think you should reassure the child and forget it unless there are other instances. She needs to be able to take things like this for what they are and get on with things, if you make a fuss it won't help her at all.