Cross with in laws - how to approach?

RoxieW

Sorry - just chuckling at you thinking that they are doddery old grandparents as nothing could be further from the truth. They often come down and visit us on the motorbike in full leathers lol!

RoxieW

Reggie_Rebel wrote: »

If you are not happy then they don't go.

What could be more simpler?

I dont think it is that simple. I dont want to keep their grandkids from them as they look forward to having them. I dont want it to get to 'well if u dont do things my way, they wont visit you'.

mrscb

Could the baby develop an allergy to dogs therefore they have to be kept well away;)

puddles

Reggie_Rebel wrote: »

If you are not happy then they don't go.

What could be more simpler?

That would be my answer too.

We have a 16 month old son and I'd never leave him anywhere I wasn't absolutely 100% sure he was in no danger. I wouldn't enjoy a weekend away if there was any doubt. The safety of my son would come way above hurting the in-laws feelings, they'd get over it.

Any

RoxieW wrote: »

They want to have the baby and we also want to have a weekend break. They have our sons for the weekend normally once every 3 months-ish. Am not sure the relevance of your question - are you assuming that they cant cope?

No, I am not saying that they cannot cope, it seems they they don't want to cope.
They are not making it any easier for you.

You have a choice - either you will say you don't feel comfortable with leaving them all there with the dogs and risk of grandpa taking all the kids in the car with no car seats and see what they do and say.... or don't leave them there.

They have brought up children themselves you know - either you are happy with their parental skills and will not talk them into it or you are not and then you will not leave your kids there.

I think you can drop hints, but you cannot come and give them a list of instructions and rules like they've never seen a child before.

tandraig

why should roxiew lie about the baby having allergy - that could rebound on her big-time! she is thinking about her kids safety so dont have a go at her!!! she is trying to sort things out amicably and is taking in-laws views into consideration. she is also entitled to a break and if in-laws offered to have the kids and the kids are happy there then she is also entitled to let inlaws babysit. its just the safety issue needs sorting out. which i have no doubt roxiew will do without anyone getting upset! which is why she asked for help!
btw roxiew until i saw your post about them turning up in leathers i was picturing inlaws as Daisy and Onslow from keeping up appearances. lol dont worry you werent cast as Hyacinth!!

katieclampet

If you are at all concerned don't leave your baby with unsupervised dogs running around. I had 2 dogs while my gk were small, and althought they were lovely dogs, I never left them unsupervised with the children. There are regular horror stories where children are attacked and even killed by pet dogs. You obviously have some concerns, and you need to discuss them with your OH who might find it easier to talk to his parents.

It sounds like you have quite different ideas from his parents on what is right and safe for your children. But they are your children and when it comes down to it you are responsible for their safety.

katiex

sarahs999

Well, I think with the car seat one you could approach it from the point of view of 'this is illegal - I would hate you to get stopped and fined; the police are really hot on this nowadays you know'.

And the dogs - I would make my OH step up to the plate and deal with it, with me present. His loyalty is to you and your family, and he shouldn't fanny around with your children's safety. Would you expect him to have to tackle a difficult subject with YOUR parents on his own, or would you kindly help him out? I bet I know the answer.

Those dogs sound dangerous. Jumped the gate and ripped the family pets apart? Hello? Surely pointing that out alone should be enough to make any sane human being realise that even a baby gate is not enough, the dogs need to be contained. They can do what they want in their own house, but when they are looking after someone else's kids then they have to do what YOU want.

No one is suggesting they can't see their grandkids, but if you and hubby want to go away, send the kids to someone who has the same standard in childcare as you. Let the grandparents see the grandkids with you present too so you can keep an eye on things. Then when they realise they aren't going to be allowed to have the kids on their own til they have a little more sense, you might find things change.

sarahs999

Oh, and I reiterate what another poster said - yes, you might have some awkward moments. But they are your children and you must do what you believe is right. Nothing is worth your baby getting mauled.

Reggie_Rebel

RoxieW wrote: »

I dont think it is that simple. I dont want to keep their grandkids from them as they look forward to having them. I dont want it to get to 'well if u dont do things my way, they wont visit you'.

Your kids, your rules. Like I say simple.