So here's to you, Mrs R....

maggiem

Hi Mrs R
Sounds as if you had a horrible row last night and I guess little sleep. Deep breaths - walk the dog - have you got a good friend to talk to openly or perhaps you prefer to sort this out yourself? It might be harder as I suppose your sons are on holiday now.

Thinking of you - you've been so positive and have sounded really happy last few posts so that must make this harder. Is there anything that would help?

Take care,

Maggiem

thrifty_fifty

Oh Mrs R,

Rows are horrible. I think in the heat of the moment, people can say very cruel things to each other. Hope everything is ok for you today. Men can be so grumpy sometimes. A walk as Maggiem suggests might be good to clear the head. He'd soon regret having said that when he wakes up in Paris alone. Bad Mr R!!

:coffee::grouphug:

hypno06

You are both going through big changes at the mo, so there is bound to be a lot of stress as you each work out your options. Very rarely do a couple both have the opportunity to take redundancy with good packages, giving them absolute freedom for the future. Most people being made redundant are spending their time working out what the heck they do next, how long the money can last before they have a problem if another job hasn't materialised etc......your situation with Mr R is very different from that, and so will bring about it different stresses as you both adapt and adjust.

I am sure things will settle down, but it is bound to have its ups and downs - it is a big set of changes compared with, say, 12 months ago.

xx

40somethingmum

(((hugs ) Mrs R,

DH and I had a massive row 2 or 3 weeks ago .... he mentioned the D word He blamed all the debt and every other thing on me.:( Next day I came home form work and he had bought me a massive box of chocs as an apology ( pretty unusual for him;)). I am sure you will sort it out . Stress makes us act in strange ways.

Hope you are feeling better today and that you have managed to get some sleep.

Love

40Smxx

macgirl

Things can often seem very bleak and final after a big row, so no wonder you are shaken.
As everyone has said, you have been through some major life changes which can be as stressful as a more negative outcome.

Let the dust settle, things will pass. Hope you do go to Paris - a bit of distance and perspective might clear the air. All the best x

40somethingmum

How are you doing, Mrs ! ? ((hugs))

mrs_robinson_3

Thanks all for supportive messages. This is the sort of stuff it's quite hard to admit to friends in real world, who think we've got it all going for us, so i really do appreciate the wise and kind words you've all posted. As for how things are....well, we'll see. All feels a bit raw just now. Especially when he said I'd be nothing without him - that I just can't get out of my head, but need to.

And still a mountain of ironing to do, bed to change (MIL coming to stay with DSs), revisions to make to the timetable for the DSs for the weekend, long stay parking to organise....etc. And the DSs are off to Wembley on Sunday for an FA cup semi final, so many logistics to that, as well, but means I don't feel guilty they are not coming to Paris - not that they wanted to

But amongst all this, my nails do look lovely......for anyone reading who's as shallow as me, I went for a classic burgundy red.....

Hope you find me in better spirits next week all - and thanks again, somehow I know you all understand just how am feeling right now

Mrs R

hypno06

Perfect choice on the nail colour

thrifty_fifty

:TFab nails honey

Mine are a natural, different lengths and exposed to the ravages of gardening look at the mo.:(

As for the comment about you being nothing without him. I think this is some kind of reaction to being out of work and losing direction. I guess he would have been used to planning, organizing etc etc. Now he doesn't have anything to round up (bad example but in a kind of sheepdog way), he has nothing to have control over, and guess who is the closest person to him. You!

Don't let these comments go to heart, you know you are fabulous and he is as lucky to have you as you to have him. You have clearly demonstrated from the above that you have everything in order with all the organizing.I think he is probably insecure at the minute and he needs you, but says the opposite because he doesn't quite have the ability to confess how lost he is feeling.

I'm in no way a psychologist, but just applying some of the lessons learnt in therapy. Often those who lash out have feelings of powerlessness, and I think this is what Mr R has at the mo. Don't let this dent your confidence though. You darn well go to Paris, and if you do end up having lots of time alone, then fill it with going to galleries and eating nice food. You show him what a strong independent woman you are. And may I recommend the Plaza Athenee for tea and special pastries in the gallerie des Gobelins. About euro29 for a nice large silver tea pot-try the grand oolong, and a tray of delicious pastries.

http://www.plaza-athenee-paris.com/la-galeriedes-gobelins

I think once you are out there, things will settle down a bit.

xx

In_my_dreams

Hey Mrs R - hope things are ok and you and OH are speaking again. Lots of hurtful things are said in the heat of the moment. My husband always refers to the debt during the argument, I now just ignore him even though it is difficult.