First Grandchild - more love??

username456

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

not always. My DD is the first grandaughter for my OH's parents - if you read my post on inlaws you'll know they have called her some horrid names this past week!

My mum has 5 grandkids in total, ages between 1 month and 15 yeqars and they are all treated equally

MrsTinks

How long is a piece of string? It will depend on the grandparents really
I'd also do some serious thinking about why you feel jealous about them beign pregnant - the tone of your post makes it pretty clear that it's not just the potential "first grandchild" issue, but maybe the fact your SIL fell pregnant without even trying and you haven't yet?
I never had any dreams of being the first to present my parents or parents in law with the first grandchild - just as well I guess as my step sister had a son a few years ago and my SIL had a daughter a few years ago too

If anything look on it as a great moneysaving fact Your SIL will be able to give you their baby's hand me downs saving you a fortune!

username456

fernliebee

My DD is the second grandchild of 3, and they are all treated the same. I think the important thing is to ensure your child see's the grandparents regularly as then a relationship can build, I know of a few people who complain their children are not treated fairly but they make no effort to see the grandparents where as the other family member does if that makes sense.

We see my mum more often than we see DH mum, and she is the 1st grandchild on that side.

Sarahlou_2

Hi

Hmm tricky one. Our son is first grandchild on DH's side, third (and last lol) on my parents side. My parents treat DS "different" to my nieces because they are teenagers now and live 200 miles away! But when I say diferent it's certainly not any less favourable.
Plus my mum said it feels different when it's your daughter that pregnant as opposed to your son's wife/OH - I don't know, maybe that's just my mum haha! Anyway she loves them all equally!

On OH's side, my DS "appears" to be the favourite...... but then they don't see him everyday whereas they see the other three a few times a week if not every day.

So I don't know is the honest answer!!!!!!!!

ariba10

We like to think that all our Grand and Great grand children are are loved equally although some are seen more often than others.

Next time arround we are going to miss out on children and go straight for grandchildren. (More fun and you can give them back when you have had enogh)

tiamai_d

My MIL treats her first grandchild differently, but it has more to do with her being a girl and MIL having had 3 boys (there is a long, randomly changing story about MIL having a termination that she was 'sure' was a girl but named the baby the same name we chose for DS1 having never heard of the female terminated child before).

The rest of the grandchildren are more or less treated the same (3 boys 2 step granddaughters 1 great step granddaughter), a lot less favoured than the 'first girl'.

She swears to us she doesn't but then whispers to others that she does

You get over it, she misses far more than the children do.

galvanizersbaby

ariba10 wrote: »

We like to think that all our Grand and Great grand children are are loved equally although some are seen more often than others.

Next time arround we are going to miss out on children and go straight for grandchildren. (More fun and you can give them back when you have had enogh)

Made me chuckle

It's a good job I wasn't worried about my child being the first grandchild (My mum already had 7 grandchildren by then and I'm the oldest of 3 girls!)

She has 9 grandchildren now (I contributed the last couple) and she treats them all pretty equally as far as I can see - when it comes to birthday's/christmas they all have to have the same spent on them to be fair :rolleyes: (even though 3 of the grandchildren are 6 and under and haven't a clue what anything costs )

anguk

My MIL had 4 grandchildren and it was my SIL's 2nd daughter who she was closest too. She treat all grandchildren the same and saw each of them for the same amount of time but something just sort of "clicked" with the 2nd one, I think it was because they were very alike personality wise.

My MIL also told me that it feels different when it's your daughter's children as opposed to your DIL's, it's more like it's an extension of yourself, which I can understand.

She also had a saying, "a son's a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter for the rest of your life". I can also understand that too, daughter's do tend to be closer to their mother especially when a child comes along.

morocha

My DD is the first grandaughter on my side.. but my family lives miles and miles away.. so they do not spend much time with her, she is the 3 granddaughter in my OH side, but she is treated differently, they love 3 of them, they are 7&5 and my daughter is 2, but my daughter seems to be the favourite for great grandma too, i think it is because they have seen her since she was born in a regular basis, we are always there,but for the other grandchildren, all of us rarely seem them, despite the fact that they live 10 min from great grandma,15 min from grandparents and 20 min from us...