We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Dad won't be at my Wedding
Comments
-
if the family cared about the happiness of the male member ie brother they wouldnt make life hard!
A man would be pretty weak in my eyes to put his sister over his beloved.
When are people going to realise they will lose out if they make all these demands or say we want to see you but not your wife etc!
A persons loyalty should be first and foremost to his partner. Partners are always blamed we never get to hear their side:rolleyes:
I always think when i hear rants about people wonder what their side is!:footie:0 -
-
Yes we were in this situation.
DH's mum passed away before I met him. We got married in 2000 and his dad decided to go away on hoiday with his second wife the day we got married instead of coming to our wedding. He and his wife had been married 20 plus years so it wasnt a honeymoon or anything of significance.
Anyway DH was devasted, esp since his mum wouldnt be there and now his dad was choosing not to come. I wrote FIL a long letter saying how upset DH was and how we thought he would be at his side even more since his mum wasnt here.
Well the backlash was incredible! They didnt come to the wedding and this and other factors have meant that FIL has nothing to do with us or our boys now, his choice.
FIL has certainly shown me how NOT to parent!Bringing up 2 handsome boys and 1 gorgeous girl the MSE way!Joseph born 19th December 2001Matthew born 8th August 2007Tara born 23rd January 20110 -
When I first met my OH certain members of his family made it very plain that they didn't like/approve of me. These were 2 grown women who decided that they knew me after an initial meeting of about 7 minutes.
I never once rose to the bait even though things that were said about me to OH and other family members was very hurtful at the time.
THEY put my OH in a very awkward position at the time. He felt torn between his love for his family and his loyalty to me. I kept my mouth shut, smiled and was polite at all times (even though at times I felt like giving them a mouthful to be honest)
Almost 5 years later these same two women were delighted to be invited to our wedding.Do I like them now.....no, but I know that biting my tongue back then saved an awful lot of problems for us now as a couple.
I could have made him choose but even if he had chosen me over them it would've been a rather hollow victory for me, knowing it would leave my OH unhappy.How does a brown cow give white milk, when it only eats green grass?0 -
I could have made him choose but even if he had chosen me over them it would've been a rather hollow victory for me, knowing it would leave my OH unhappy.[/QUOTE]
you dont get it do you? You dont make him choose! If they were genuinely being horrible to you for no reason then your oh shouldnt have wanted anything to do with them! You shouldnt have had to say anything!
Your oh has a fault if puts up with family saying things about his beloved!
They also dont give a toss about him and his happiness if they are prepared to do it! So why wanna know them!:footie:0 -
I think your being quite unreasonable to be honest. If his wife is too sick to travel then it's something he has to consider and if he can't get anyone to look after her then he'll have to stay with her. He didn't say he wouldn't come, just that he can't guarantee it yet due to the circumstances.
Frankly if you went into the rant you did over the phone and by email, I wouldn't want even want to talk to you again without a huge apology, let alone go to your wedding.
I also don't see why he necessarily has to put your needs above his wifes, you should both be of equal importance.
Gavin if his wife was sick i'd be the first to say stay at home and look after her. I am not some sort of Bridezilla who demands people to do things my way. If anything i've been a complete walkover most of my life.
She has been using her "bad health" for years whenever it suits her. Yet when she wants to go and tour the world every winter in a camper van suddenly there is nothing wrong with her. The rare occassion that my Dad has grew a set and stood up to her over the years she will suddenly develope chest pains.
Why is it so hard for some people to believe that maybe step mum is just not a nice person?How does a brown cow give white milk, when it only eats green grass?0 -
I could have made him choose but even if he had chosen me over them it would've been a rather hollow victory for me, knowing it would leave my OH unhappy.
you dont get it do you? You dont make him choose! If they were genuinely being horrible to you for no reason then your oh shouldnt have wanted anything to do with them! You shouldnt have had to say anything!
Your oh has a fault if puts up with family saying things about his beloved!
They also dont give a toss about him and his happiness if they are prepared to do it! So why wanna know them![/QUOTE]
Why would I want to cause a rift in a family over 2 spiteful women who are old enough to know better.
I didn't say my OH said nothing about it to them he did, but you can put your opinions across without having to stop speaking to someone. It's called being the bigger person.
I was making the point that situations like this within families can be sorted without anyone having to choose.How does a brown cow give white milk, when it only eats green grass?0 -
how are you expecting people on a forum to sort it out though! Everyone has problems!
The trouble is too that we only hear one side!:footie:0 -
miserly_mum wrote: »you dont get it do you? You dont make him choose! If they were genuinely being horrible to you for no reason then your oh shouldnt have wanted anything to do with them! You shouldnt have had to say anything!
Your oh has a fault if puts up with family saying things about his beloved!
They also dont give a toss about him and his happiness if they are prepared to do it! So why wanna know them!
Why would I want to cause a rift in a family over 2 spiteful women who are old enough to know better.
you wouldnt be causing the rift they would if there was one!
Sometimes they can be sorted but a man worth his salt would never put a sister/mother etc before his partner!:footie:0 -
how are you expecting people on a forum to sort it out though! Everyone has problems!
The trouble is too that we only hear one side!
If that was the case then surely there'd be no point anyone posting on any forum as all they can give is their version?How does a brown cow give white milk, when it only eats green grass?0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.8K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards