Really sorry but I dont want to be married anymore

Brighter_Future

Thanks so much Pee you have really helped me:T :A

Brighter_Future

Well im here again 2 years on. Things have improved quite a bit on the money for bills front but the smoking and drinking has continued. Thing is Im finding it very difficult in fact impossible to get the spark back. I feel too much damage has been done over the years. He is my friend but that is all unfortunately but it is so hard going along with the pretence of marriage. Dont think I will ever pluck up courage to leave. I feel sad because I know he loves me deep down and I wish I felt the same way, it would be so much easier.

victory

I read years ago this american book that was talking about grudges, resentment, bad memories and was saying just for one day, wake up and act as there is no past, you have no memory, like if you were hit on the head like you see in the films and had forgotten everything, to just grasp the day, smile, be happy and enjoy the moment.

Very american fide but in a way true but is not that easy just to look at him and not remember what he did and said to upset you, the hurt, the pain, the bad bits, what the book was trying to say is going on a date you don't take years of memories with you, you dress up, look your best, act your best, expect a good evening, a pleasurable time.

If we could all do that it would be a perfect world but we can't what has gone on has shaped you to the person you are today, good or bad, the bad cannot just be laid to rest that easy.

What the book says if you saw your OH in a restaurant and went up to him you would introduce yourself and say Hi and wish happiness on yourself.

It goes on about plucking all the good bits and putting them in a basket labelled happiness and throwing all the bad into a river that washes them away. Basically look at it with fresh eyes not wounded troubled soul.