Bed wetting help

Indie_Kid

elvis86 wrote: »

Those who have said that their children are "proud of being in nappies".

Eh? How many children would be "proud of being in nappies"? It's embarrassing and probably a pain to change them.

pigpen

mine loves wearing her nappy!! That is half the battle we have.. she LIKES being wet.. she doesn't care.. and she has said so!!

That said.. it doesn't change the fact she has an undersized, irritable bladder and possibly muscle weakness.. they cannot willingly wet during the night when they are asleep so it is still a 'problem'.. just she doesn't see it as one...

elvis86

pigpen wrote: »

mine loves wearing her nappy!! That is half the battle we have.. she LIKES being wet.. she doesn't care.. and she has said so!!

That said.. it doesn't change the fact she has an undersized, irritable bladder and possibly muscle weakness.. they cannot willingly wet during the night when they are asleep so it is still a 'problem'.. just she doesn't see it as one...

I'm not for one second saying that the child can be held accountable for wetting at night, as I said before, its involuntary and you can't punish the child for that.

What I was suggesting, is that perhaps sometimes, through a well-intentioned course of action designed to reassure and not stigmatise the child, some parents may inadvertently make things worse, in that the child remains happy and "proud" (for want of a better word) of the nappy, and considers it acceptable to soil the nappy when they are awake?

A certain individual on here is now seemingly seeking out all of my posts and trying to stir up trouble against me. Apologies if this led to any misunderstanding.:(

pigpen

I knew exactly what you meant and wasn't taking it in offense at all

I was saying that while DD3 isn't able to stop herself wetting at night she is more than happy to wear the nappy and has to be made to take it off in a morning when it is sopping wet!.. It is a bit weird actually to think that she does actually like the feeling of it.. I couldn't think of anything worse but she seems to find some kind of comfort in it.

If we let her put the nappy on any earlier than as she gets into bed she would happily wet it before going up.. she would never poo in it though.. that she would be in trouble for!!

For me, I would prefer she was happy to wear the nappy because it makes my life easier, and hers to an extent, but I do wish she didn't get quite so much enjoyment from feeling it wet.. I don't want her to think it is usual for a 9 year old to wet the bed.. but she doesn't seem to care in the least that her 2 younger siblings are both dry at night and have been since they were less than 2 and she isn't.

when we came home from the clinic with the alarm she said 'well that won't work cos I like being wet!'... so we had a good lon discussion about appropriate behaviour for her age and she still was totally unashamed by liking being wet.. I just do not understand it at all!

elvis86

pigpen wrote: »

I knew exactly what you meant and wasn't taking it in offense at all

I was saying that while DD3 isn't able to stop herself wetting at night she is more than happy to wear the nappy and has to be made to take it off in a morning when it is sopping wet!.. It is a bit weird actually to think that she does actually like the feeling of it.. I couldn't think of anything worse but she seems to find some kind of comfort in it.

If we let her put the nappy on any earlier than as she gets into bed she would happily wet it before going up.. she would never poo in it though.. that she would be in trouble for!!

For me, I would prefer she was happy to wear the nappy because it makes my life easier, and hers to an extent, but I do wish she didn't get quite so much enjoyment from feeling it wet.. I don't want her to think it is usual for a 9 year old to wet the bed.. but she doesn't seem to care in the least that her 2 younger siblings are both dry at night and have been since they were less than 2 and she isn't.

when we came home from the clinic with the alarm she said 'well that won't work cos I like being wet!'... so we had a good lon discussion about appropriate behaviour for her age and she still was totally unashamed by liking being wet.. I just do not understand it at all!

My god what a difficult position you are in!:(

Obviously you don't want to dent her self-esteem, but at the same time one can't help but think that you'll struggle to make progress as long as she sees nothing wrong in being wet.

Does she not get a rash or anything from the wet nappy? I know it sounds awful but maybe if she did she wouldn't enjoy the sensation so much!

[Deleted User]

I was a child who bedwetted til I was 12 (there was an awful lot of issues in the family) my mum reacted very badly and used to be very bad tempered about changing sheets.., if she did at all. It was something I worried about all the time and I'm sure that made it worse.

I have only just gotten my 4 year old out of nappies at night. While deep down I was starting to get a little concerned I never let him see that. He also had an issue about doing poops in the toilet.., so he used to hang on til he was in his night nappy, so I'm sure the two 'challenges' got tangled up with each other lol.

Basically I said a few times that he was growing up now and wouldn't it be nice to be a big grown up boy without nappies? Then I found a step toilet seat that his face lit up at the thought of using., it turns out he just didn't feel safe sitting on the toilet unless the child seat was as stable as possible. He started using the toilet seat (I made sure he was comfortable with it). A couple of nights later I said he was a big boy and doing so well, now we'll try seeing if he can do without using nappies. But I left it to him to add two and two together so he didn't feel too pressurised. On night two the deed was done (and his face positively shone with pride). Obviously he was prasied to the sky as u do. Hasn't had problems with poo's and toilets since. He bed wetted the first week but its getting less and less. If he does I just say its ok, we just need to keep at it and it will come with time. There is no way I want him to feel pressurised, and it only makes the problem worse. I have one of those mattress protectors and it works very well. He'll get it when he's ready.

elvis86

deannatrois wrote: »

I was a child who bedwetted til I was 12 (there was an awful lot of issues in the family) my mum reacted very badly and used to be very bad tempered about changing sheets.., if she did at all. It was something I worried about all the time and I'm sure that made it worse.

I have only just gotten my 4 year old out of nappies at night. While deep down I was starting to get a little concerned I never let him see that. He also had an issue about doing poops in the toilet.., so he used to hang on til he was in his night nappy, so I'm sure the two 'challenges' got tangled up with each other lol.

Basically I said a few times that he was growing up now and wouldn't it be nice to be a big grown up boy without nappies? Then I found a step toilet seat that his face lit up at the thought of using., it turns out he just didn't feel safe sitting on the toilet unless the child seat was as stable as possible. He started using the toilet seat (I made sure he was comfortable with it). A couple of nights later I said he was a big boy and doing so well, now we'll try seeing if he can do without using nappies. But I left it to him to add two and two together so he didn't feel too pressurised. On night two the deed was done (and his face positively shone with pride). Obviously he was prasied to the sky as u do. Hasn't had problems with poo's and toilets since. He bed wetted the first week but its getting less and less. If he does I just say its ok, we just need to keep at it and it will come with time. There is no way I want him to feel pressurised, and it only makes the problem worse. I have one of those mattress protectors and it works very well. He'll get it when he's ready.

I think its all about striking a balance, between supporting the child and not chastising them for involuntary behaviour, but identifying that it must be your ultimate goal (ie you and the child, together) to get them out of nappies and dry.

I think that a different attitude needs to be taken where a child is choosing to soil themselves in the day/when they are put in a nappy at night (obviously you would need to be sure this was voluntary, and not due to a medical condition/issue like the one deannatrois describes). They need to know that this is not acceptable or desirable behaviour. If you bend over backwards not to upset them, and do not discourage this behaviour, you risk ending up with a child who has no desire to change.:(

Indie_Kid

deannatrois wrote: »

He bed wetted the first week but its getting less and less. If he does I just say its ok, we just need to keep at it and it will come with time. There is no way I want him to feel pressurised, and it only makes the problem worse. I have one of those mattress protectors and it works very well. He'll get it when he's ready.

I think this is a good way of handling things. When children are starting to come out of nappies, having the odd accident is normal.

[Deleted User]

Yes I must admit I used to have 'accidents' during the day too. But that was cause I was a diabetic and dealing with control issues wasn't so hot then (70's) as it is now because it wasn't possible to do blood sugars. Because of all the family issues, I'd eat too much sugar, my blood sugar would rise abnormally and my body would try to 'flush' the excess sugar out. So play time breaks weren't frequent enough for me. I was also intensely shy about asking if I could disappear to the toilet so this complicated matters (didn't really grow out of that til I was an adult). The only time I didn't keep leaving damp patches behind me (makes me whince now) was with a teacher that didn't require u to ask to go to the loo.

The whole thing was a bit of a nightmare and unfortunately, did make a difficult childhood worse cause of course u'd get told off for not asking.., and that again made it worse lol. I don't think I was ever asked why there was this problem lol.

Obviously I feel quite strongly about this. You have to make the child want to do things. How depends on the child, but helping them to see its in their own interest is definitely a way that works. Praise, reward charts, finding an aspect of using the toilet (like our seat) the child likes. Whatever works. I don't think making them feel bad works at all. I've got two children, one with ASD, and I've found that if u wait until they do part of what u want them to do.., u praise them to the sky (rather than criticising for the part they haven't done).., they are SO much more keen to do a bit more next time.

rugbymum

Hi
All advice and suggestions are welcome.
My 5 year old son wets the bed terribly.
He isn't allowed to drink after 6.30pm (or an hour before going to bed).
I make sure he goes to the toilet bfore going to bed.
He doesn't drink tea,,coffee, blackcurrant or cola as I have been told all these stimulate the bladder.
His bedroom is completely dark.
He wears the most absorbent nappy I can find (Huggies dry nights pyjama pants 5-7).
I've toyed with the idea of moving up to the next size, but worry they're going to be too big.
This morning I have had to strip the bed (every day this week so far). Bottom sheet, pillow and quilt all wet (as well as Pancakes & Floppy, the cuddly dogs, which alway cause distress)
I'm getting to the end of my thether. HELP!