£77,366.35 reasons to be debt free!

In_my_dreams

Having a cr*p today! At work, achieving nothing and weather is rubbish. Feeling negative about the debt and the amount of it. My best friend knows I'm fed up and I nearly told her but then didn't. Feel so ashamed about it all and wish I had found this site years ago when I could have rescued the situation.

Hopefully an after work drink will help paid for by boss and not me so will conclude a NSD!

Annie021063

In_my_dreams wrote: »

Having a cr*p today! At work, achieving nothing and weather is rubbish. Feeling negative about the debt and the amount of it. My best friend knows I'm fed up and I nearly told her but then didn't. Feel so ashamed about it all and wish I had found this site years ago when I could have rescued the situation.

Hopefully an after work drink will help paid for by boss and not me so will conclude a NSD!

You can and will 'rescue' the situation. Keep positive

rubydoiwannabee

Hiya in my dreams, both down and up days are just part of this DF journey, be kind to yourself, we all have them believe me.

Besides, where would you rather be... spending happily in denial, or facing up and counting every penny?

Big smiley best wishes that tomorrow is a positive upbeat day for you.

x;)

Jo_R_2

Just been reading through and great diary! I think me and you are probably polar opposites in a lot of things but definitely think the same about some things - my OH is clueless sometimes bless him but can be good if encouraged, and I know that feeling of thinking the debt-free date we have is oh so far away (end 2012/start 2013) but carry on ploughing through anyway

I think you have to feel the whole spectrum of emotion on the journey to appreciate what you are doing this for. The positivity of doing something so constructive for a better life, those times of almost obsession when it's all you think about, and the negativity of wishing you didn't have to account for the pennies or think about every spend or purchase and could just throw caution to the wind. I think those times are real building blocks of character; sometimes I think in a karmic way they're punishment for our previous monetary 'sins', and other times we have to feel that way to unlearn how we behaved before and make sure we don't do it again.

I think you're going really well - your debt-free date isn't really that far away so keep focussed - and steady with the choccy!:D

hypno06

You only have to see the last few days worth of tosh in my diary to know that these ups and downs follow us all the way.....it is not easy, and nor is it supposed to be, otherwise we wouldn't learn and change along the way.

If it was an easy thing, we would get ourselves back in the same situation again, once debt free, on the basis that "it is easy to pay off"......

so, however pants it may seem - we somehow have to see the negativity as a positive!

No help, whatsoever, I know :rotfl:

Jo_R_2

Agree hypno - it does help To know we're on a learning curve - okay there's a lot of this we *should* know and have done already but it *IS* all good isn't it... The negatives are positive too.

Lurker1972

Hi Inmydreams, just wanted to pop in & say well done for what you've managed so far

So many people are in the same boat, from the outside look to be rolling in it, but in fact are up to eyeballs in debt - its people on here though that have nothing to feel ashamed of becuase we are are dealing with it, we've admitted our mistakes, learnt from them (possibly had to sit the exam a few times though) and are dealing with the consequences.

& its ok not to unload on your friends if you'd rather not right now - you have us here, all on the same journey, with the experience of all the ups & downs, we never laugh or judge, just offer advice & support.

I'm sure you will get to your DFD much sooner that you currently think

In_my_dreams

Thank you so much for the messages after a miserable day. Came home and just cried in the end. It feels such an emotional baggage and also such a mask to wear. I also feel that it is creating such a huge pressure for me and OH to live under that we row about the smallest things. I would hate that we split up because of the finances but some days I just don't know.

Tried to sensible on Saturday and arranged a walk with a friend but didn't counter in the train fare and forgot to take drinks and snacks for kids - who to be fair walked for hours without too much complaint, even when we got lost!!:rolleyes: Came home and OH had spent £20 in the Pub which pi**ed me off but I rose above it. We did sit and fill in the spending diary today and I think he took in onboard a little why I felt so cross and said he would try and spend nothing the rest of the week. I feel like I am treating him like a child asking him what he has spent etc and I think we have to overcome this and appreciate it is part of the new lifestyle we have to live.

Your posts were completely right though, it is better to be dealing with rather than ignoring it and three weeks in I am giving it my all and need to stop stressing if I spend a bit of money when I have some in a budget.

Tescos shopping was over budget again but we have loads in so we need to menu plan better next week on what we have in.

Feeling little more positive now (not that the post suggests it ) and hoping to relax on settee tonight. All name tags on kids' stuff, all ironing done, animal walked and just me and a date with chocolate for the evening.

Off to have a nosey around....

Thank you xx

hypno06

It is never going to be a "straight line" thing - there will be tweaks and adjustments to keep you on track - just think of it as an around the world yacht race, always needing to adjust direction to take account of weather, waves and broken bits of boat, but always ending up at the right place at the end of the life changing journey.....

As for treating OH like a child - that is normal - I give my OH "pocket money" and he asks me everytime he wants to spend some money. For example, he has just gone to do a couple of hours voluntary work, and came to ask me if he could have £1 for some chocolate as he left. Some might see it as patronising, we see it as necessary in order that we can get where we need to be and it works for us. Plenty of others would say to him "I don't know how you can put up with THAT".....

Anyway, three weeks in, and you are doing well - you would be amazed how many people start for a few days then say it is too much hassle and so disappear again!

In_my_dreams

You have such a good way with words - I am now just wandering around on a boat, it's a much better experience