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£77,366.35 reasons to be debt free!

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  • hypno06
    hypno06 Posts: 32,296 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Oh hun, I know EXACTLY how you feel - when my debt was a bit higher than yours, I had issues at work (not the same issues, but ones that made me consider tribunal).....yet couldn't afford the risk of not working etc......debt invaded my every waking hour, and as I couldn't sleep either, that was most of the time.

    Everyone saw me as being "the strong one" - the one that could pull every one else through the difficult times, yet I too was on the edge. Then dad died suddenly, and I really didn't care whether I crossed the road in front of a lorry or not.

    BUT, I pulled through it - I went to my GP expecting to get some lovely pills to help, but instead she just sat me down and let me talk.....and cry.....and say "I'm only human" and she said "yes you are".......she gave me no prescription, but she gave me an open invitation to come and talk to her whenever I needed. That made all the difference. I didn't need to keep turning up at the surgery, but just the knowledge that someone was prepared to listen to me without judging, and who didn't see me just being "good old hypno", was enough for me to keep going.

    And of course it got easier.

    Keep going hun xxx
    Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)
    Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)
  • Thank you so much for your post Hypno, it has actually made me burst into tears :o You have put into words exactly how I'm feeling. I am stuck in a miserable dead end and see no way out. I am restless to pay off the debt and the figure goes around in my head all day long, all the time. Yet I still pay £5 for a lunch with money I don't have. I don't think I am depressed but I am stressed beyond belief and at my wits end.

    I honestly sat on the train this morning and thought how easy it would be just to finish it all, no more bills to pay, people to harrass me, being blamed for everything.....but then I figured that the insurance wouldn't cover it and my OH would be more furious with me than he is now.

    He's annoyed with me for not confiding with him about work earlier, for moaning about CC bill and expenses but not annoyed with himself for not listening to me trying to tell him or reminding him about his expenses.

    I am sick of paying bills and worrying about paying them and just wish OH would worry about it as well. I know every CC balance off by heart and when the deals finish, every direct debit.....

    I hope I can get as far down the line as you have, I am normally the strong one but I feel like this new problem is the straw that broke the camel's back.

    Hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter better new day, thank you x
    1st debt - Next [STRIKE]£583.32[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]£408.71 [/STRIKE] £0 :j
    2nd debt - MBNA - £6,618.52
    First in many many to go - baby steps and all that!
    First lump sum to go - fingers crossed!
    08/06/09 - [STRIKE]£11,497.68[/STRIKE] NOW - £9,757.75
  • hypno06
    hypno06 Posts: 32,296 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    OMG you ARE me :rotfl:

    Honestly, it DOES get better - don't get me wrong, I still have very bleak periods, bizarrely it is when I have reached another milestone, ie getting below the next £10k barrier, or whatever, which should be a time to celebrate.......but whether it is just a bit of an anticlimax after a period of prolonged focus, or whether it is just that continued realisation that we still have a bloody awful amount of debt to pay and no chance of moving house, buying a car (sold mine to pay the debt), having a fortnight in Mauritius, or even just having my hair coloured to hide the increasing amount of grey that all this stress produces.....who knows. What I do know is that these bleak periods pass, and I have renewed energy and fight again.

    Of course no one "gets" how I feel. They just see me as being a mardy cow again.......eyes roll, children hide, when all I actually want is for someone else to think of what is for dinner :rolleyes:

    I know every balance of every account - OH still can't buy petrol without ringing me first to ask which card he should use to pay for it :o

    But we get there.....step by step, little by little..........and for me this site has been the biggest lifeline of all. Stick with it, stick with us, rant, laugh, play bloody bingo until the cows come home, and you will get there too xxx
    Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)
    Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)
  • I am so sorry to hear you are having a rough time at work IMD. Thats not good. I'm a HR manager so if you need any advice PM me and I'll be more than happy to help:o

    H has offered sound advice as always, of course you are the only one who know how it feels now but we've all been there or there abouts at times. Its hard to stay motivated, focused, energised and sometimes just one thing can tip the balance and make it all feel unbearable. At other times one small gain (payment off a card or similar) and make you feel wonderful
    :rolleyes:

    Battle with your OH is draining as well. They do seem to come around eventually just marginally slower than us girls generally (sweeping statement I know). H made me laugh since my OH never knows which account to pay for his petrol on. I found that I was constantly adjusting how I manage the finances to account for expenses issues, cash flow, management stuff (OH taking cash out of the joint account being a special trick of his :mad:). Its never static.

    Remember you are constantly moving forward in your DF journey, even months when you don't reduce your debt but don't add to it. This time of year is so hard as well. We started our DF journey at this time of year and it was hard to spend money when we'd realised that we had to stop.

    Day at a time, challenge at a time and you'll get there. The work issues will resolve as well.

    Keep posting
    Working Hard to be Debt Free - one day :A soon
    DFW Long Hauler 74; Mortgage overpayments MFiT-2 challenger 100
    Total Nov07 £36000, Sep10 £1623:o:)
  • Nelmer
    Nelmer Posts: 214 Forumite
    Hypno & IMD,

    You guys are inspirational. I usually lurke on your diary IMD, as you and I are in similar financial situations but after reading todays posts I couldn't just leave.

    Your raw emotion and openness is commendable and is a help to everyone to know that we are all human and all going through similar traumas.

    Take each day as it comes one step at a time.

    My Mum told me a saying once and it's how I look at our debt situation
    "You got into debt on the motorway, fast. Your only option out is to take the scenic route, pay it off a bit at a time but keep going.....you'll get there in the end"
    It helps me when I'm having a low day.

    Big hugs to you both xx
    Sam
    Natwest Card 27.06.10 (reduce every month) £267.63
    Gave up smoking 16th July 2007 :T
  • Annie021063
    Annie021063 Posts: 2,570 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    My god Hypno and IMD - what inspirations you both are. I have shed a tear for both of you tonight.
    IMD - take a long look at life now and what life will be like at the end of the line. You have the power to get through this, it will change you but eventually only for the better. Can I suggest a long chat with your husband, show him your thread chats because it really sums up the essence of what you are trying to work through. You can do this and you will.
  • macgirl
    macgirl Posts: 5,091 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I think what you two are discussing is par for the course for many working mothers - sorry to any men lurking, but that's how it is - in the main.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not an "All men are x/y/z" and my DH is brilliant.
    BUT - I have to sort all the bills, mortgage, kids clothes, shoes, dinner, window cleaner, shopping, have we got enough toilet rolls, where are the clean socks, buying presents, replying to kids party invites, Christmas blah blah blah AND be fantastic and dynamic at work AND be a dutiful wife and mother.

    Guess what? It's bloody exhausting for us all! There are certainly times I hate it - and like both of you, briefly thought the unthinkable, broke down unexpectedly in front of my GP, had Post Natal Depression and Anxiety at the enormity of life. I didn't turn to medication, but again - I had to rely on myself to get myself out of it.

    The myth that we can have it all is just that. We can't have it all.
    We all got ourselves into this mess for one reason or another and we will all get ourselves out of it.

    As for considering throwing yourself under a train IMD - you need to stop that right now. NOTHING is that bad. You have children who need you and they have to be your number one priority.
    Sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be.

    You said everyone thinks you are loaded. Ironically everyone thinks I'm poor and I earn more than you - and work less than full time! It really does not matter a stuff how you are perceived. Because we've all learnt that such thinking only leads to misery when trying to live up to others expectations. One thing to focus on is if hypno can get out of £100k worth of debt, then so can you.

    Keep going - you have all the support to get there (no more black thoughts - PMA all the way ;)). Chin up x
  • LOUBY28
    LOUBY28 Posts: 225 Forumite
    Hello IMD, I have read your whole diary tonight ...I am shattered its well past my bed time, but It was so good to read and I needed to keep going.

    I think you have been doing brilliantly in tackling your debts and you have inspired my to "honestly" begin to tackle mine too.( in the morning as am sleepy now!!).

    Sorry to read the last few posts, hang in there your doing fabulous, and I shall have my fingers crossed for you that it all works out. xxx
  • S.Worth
    S.Worth Posts: 39 Forumite
    Hi IMD, I just found this forum tonight and read through your whole thread, it's very inspirational. I hope your work problems get sorted out soon, that was very sad to read. Try and stay positive you are doing a great job, life just throws this stuff at us sometimes, it'll be a memory soon.

    SW
    Pay off £20k (well £12.5k) by December '10 £12,500/£3398.59 = 27%
    Furniture loan [STRIKE]£816.06[/STRIKE]/£0 =100%, CSL sofas loan [STRIKE]£640[/STRIKE]/£0 =100%,Tesco Mastercard [STRIKE]£1629.39[/STRIKE]/£0 =100%,
    Santander Mastercard [STRIKE]£2262.55[/STRIKE]/£2217.50 = 2%,Halifax Loan [STRIKE]£2747.42[/STRIKE]/£2491.24 =9%
    Bank of Mum and Dad in Law [STRIKE]£3300[/STRIKE]/£3160 =4%,
    Save for a Nikon D300 (or similar) £1104.58
  • chevalier
    chevalier Posts: 7,937 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    hi there IMD well done on waking up to your debt. Sometimes I feel that we just almost sleep walk into trouble, not really seeing the problem. If we are lucky we wake up like you did in time to be able to deal with it. Others like members of my family never do wake up, go bankrupt and start all over again....

    Sorry to hear about the work situation that must really suck. If you aren't going to fight it, then I guess it is time to polish up the cv again. But I also hate the idea that some slime ball would drive you out of a job, that I am assuming you like....

    Ref OH. If he has so much expenses, can he not get a company credit card. That way he doesn't have to do expenses. Just a thought.

    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
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