HeavyHeart, EmptyPurse

Ali-OK

Jen

If you look at renting, would it be possible to be nearer to Pete's place of work? This would help with reducing all that daily travelling (obviously not for going to Denmark!) which might help for health and finances.

I think you have to break this into bite-size chunks of practical actions too (sort the wood from the trees so to speak). Someone mentioned contacting creditors to ask to freeze interest, do token payments, etc. You could do that immediately whilst looking at the bigger picture of selling/renting or taking some sort of action again the P-I-Ls.

alyth

HeavyHeart, I can't offer any advice, other than go and see a lawyer very quickly, I work in law as a PA and I suspect,and I'm sure someone will correct me, that your parents will be able to live in the house under what's known in Scotland as a liferent, that the house cannot be sold until they are both dead, and I'm sure it'll be different under English law. my love, if you are sitting in the house not able to even drive to get the can of coke you want so much, then you have to take action. To be honest I have never replied to a post like yours before, if you were in Scotland I would drive round with a bucket-load of coke, wine and chocolate and look after you! You have Pete, you have everybody on this board to support you, make sure you talk to each other, don't bottle things up and don't both of you disappear to have separate crys, cry together, you're in this together, as someone else has said the only way you can go now is upwards, families, are hell, my parents met my in-laws today for the first time in 12 years and my mother behaved appallingly, and I'm now mortified that my in-laws now now what my family are really like, my partner and I have no children and only each other and that's the way we like it, you and Pete sound utter soulmates who are made for each other.

Take legal advice, my boss certainly wouldn't charge someone in your situation and if you can find a good lawyer then you'll find that,certainly I do this, I go the extra mile for clients I feel have been given a rough deal and will certainly do everything you possibly can, which includes things like filing things at court out of their own pocket, I've been known to go and do a client's shopping for them and never claimed it back because their family have taken all their food and not left them with even milk, and we're talking an 80 odd year old woman here, so I know how EVIL families can be. I'll be thinking of you tonight, and I'm sure a lot of other people will be as well, please keep us updated on the situation and whenever you feel like moaning then do it here! Take care honey.

beanielou

Im just another person adding my very best wishes to you Jen & sending you lots of hugs.
its all been said by those before me.im glad you are going to Dr Tue,please think about changing banks and please try to get some legal advice next week.
Take care of yourself & be kind to yourself while Pete is away.
huggles
Lou

sleepless_saver

This sounds like such a nightmare, but there's great support on this board.

I had this thought, which is kind of late night off the wall. You have the contract with the parents so they can stay in the flat, but is there anything in the contract that would stop you selling the flat?

I did see an advert for a sale of this kind recently (in Scotland) where there was a sitting tenant who was to be allowed indefinite right of residence (don't know if it sold though) . Perhaps there are buyers who would like a property on this basis as a long term investment. You wouldn't get nearly so much money for it as with vacant possession, but you would get some dosh, plus you would get his parents out of your lives.

lynzpower

Sleepless saver, if the house was sold with a sitting tenant, surely there would need to be some sort of tenancy agreement in place, ie the parents in law paying some sort of rent. I cant see who would take on this investment with paents in law not paying anything

Dead end there unless the parents choose to cough up?

tesuhoha

I have been reading this thread with absolute horror. I think that your in laws must be totally evil and probably the reason that the siblings are not talking to Pete is that they are afraid that they might have to cough up some money. Surely if you are struggling to pay the mortgage and they have an extra room, you would be entitled to rent it out to a lodger? I'm thinking poor lodger but the thought that you might do that may make them uncomfortable enough to pay some money towards their rent. How about writing to them and informing them that enough is enough and it is about time that they contributed to the rent because you cannot continue to pay it. Warn them that if they refuse you are going to see a solicitor about having them evicted. Don't mince your words with them, they obviously don't worry about your sensitivities. It makes me feel so angry, they are bullies. Another thing you could do as someone else has said, write to the local paper and expose them. Be as ruthless as they are. Don't be beaten down by them. They prey on your weakness. If you allow yourself to become angry, you will harden towards them. I don't mean take a butcher's knife to them or anything like that but do anything you can to destroy them, because otherwise they are destroying you. Write to the local paper. I'm sorry if you think i'm not very nice but it seems unbelievable what they have got away with.

AuctionMan_2

My only advice would be to seek some legal advice and soon, only someone versed in the law and with access to the agreement would be able to help solve the 'what if' situation with a definate answer.

Forgive me but I have just read the whole thread in one go, did you not mention that you had a substantial amount of equity in the house you live in at the moment? (not the flat). If this is the case, and I apologise if I am taking rubbish , would it not be wise to release this equity to relieve (if not clear) your debt and then look to renting with the knowledge that you are not only seriously closer to being debt free and that when the IL's pop off you will be able to capitalise on the flat..

Good Luck and Best Wishes..

tipsychick

I don't know if this is too simplistic but would it be possible to put both the flat you're living in and the flat the nightmare in-laws are living in, into Pete's name (as he's the breadwinner) and then put all the debt into your name and declare yourself bankrupt? That way you keep the two flats and get rid of the debt (perhaps)!

I'm so sorry for you, having read the whole way through this thread. You must be utterly worn out with it all.

Please do keep the appointment with your doctor next week and also get some decent legal advice from someone specializing in property law.

*zippy*

Hi Jennifer

:grouphug: I just want to say thankyou for posting. It is shocking that parents can behave like that and I really do feel for you both, having your kindness totally abused. You will make your own little family together now, do you also have some good friends you can lean on?

I think I would sell up, clear the debt and start again. With regards to high rents there was a posting on here about someone who had sold up and bought a static caravan to live in for a few years, as you don't then have alot of outgoings, only site fees so you can save for a deposit. He was just enjoying being debt free after years of stress. I don't suppose this is an option if you are in London?

Get all the free advice you can, and if at all possible turf them out or downgrade the property.

all_hours

I agree with the other advice to get legal advice on the contract you have with the parents.

As others said, post a statement of affairs (SOA). The posters here are brilliant at giving advice on how to cut back on outgoings.

Would releasing just some of the equity in your current home be an option. Just enough to pay off some of the cards to put you back at a break even level.

Could you rent out your home and rent somewhere cheaper such as a studio flat?