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HeavyHeart, EmptyPurse

1192022242541

Comments

  • Yes well done spendalot!
  • hannahgibbs
    hannahgibbs Posts: 45 Forumite
    Hi HH, this sounds like a terrible situation. Have you spoken to the CC companies? Could you explain that you cannot meet your min payments, ask them to freeze interest and offer them each a token payment e.g. £1 each month however much you can afford. At least the interest would stop mounting up and it would give you space to breathe before making any long term decisions.

    Once you have worked out your SOA, and frozen interest on your credit cards, pay for everything in cash. No cash=no spending.

    I hope you get things sorted soon, a huge weight will be lifted :j

    Hannah
  • MushyPeas
    MushyPeas Posts: 3,104 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Hi Jen/HH

    Lots of hugs your way <<<<<hugs>>>>>, keep watching this thread, we are all supporting you MP x
    Previous debt: £14K :embarasse Debt free: Sept '03 :DMFW#42 Mortgage OP savings £4271.18/£12000 2019 :)Started dating OH Mar '12, married Oct '12, Walnut born Dec ' 12 :A SPC 12: 99 £38.05/£500 Make money Jan: £412.34/£310 :T Feb: £88.79/£280 May: £215.52/£310 June: £18.98/£300
  • HeavyHeart
    HeavyHeart Posts: 32 Forumite
    Hi, thanks again everyone

    I will be back later with the next installment :( Had a horrible experience today but not one that will kill me :)

    Jen xx
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    That sounds ominous. Think you are feeling more low because Pete is away. You'll feel a lot better when he comes home.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • aliwatts
    aliwatts Posts: 654 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    HeavyHeart wrote:
    Hi, thanks again everyone

    I will be back later with the next installment :( Had a horrible experience today but not one that will kill me :)

    Jen xx

    hi there, hope you are OK after your horrible experience !!!
    :hello: Laugh and smile everyday, it keeps you healthy ! :wave:
    Thanks for everybodies help on here, what a great community !
  • wendym
    wendym Posts: 2,945 Forumite
    Hi Jen

    There are few things in this world more self-centred, malicious and just plain scary than an embittered MIL.

    Is it possible that because you're so frightened (and of course you are!) you are seeing your 'legal agreement' with them as more powerful than it is in law?
    I didn't have all your other problems, but my MIL scared me senseless, and although he's basically a good bloke, my husband couldn't bring himself to defend me against her, so full marks to your partner.

    Have you thought about getting a friend to help you word a civil but official-sounding letter?
    Something like:

    Dear Mr & Mrs
    We have today consulted a Financial Advisor, and regret to inform you that unless you agree to contribute a reasonable rent, we shall be obliged to put the property on the market.
    We have taken advice on the matter, and there is no other solution open to us.
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Or something. Perhaps someone posting here can improve on semi-legal language.

    With warmest thoughts

    Wendy
  • Ali-OK
    Ali-OK Posts: 4,073 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Debt-free and Proud!
    aliwatts wrote:
    Hi Jen,

    Have read through all the posts on here and can only hope, being a parent myself, that there are no other parentss like Pete's out there and how you have stayed sane, i don't know.

    hope you are Ok and my thoughts are with you, bigs hugs from me too.

    Ali - Unfortunately there are.

    I know it's probably of no comfort to Jen to know this, but I spent 20+ years watching my granmother do this to my father (an only child). Her telling him to leave my Mum and us kids (4 and 7 at the time) to live with and look after her after Grandad died, or she'd never speak to him again. He had to buy her house because she loved clothes, shoes, bags and hats too much. Her sisters disowned her many years before that event. She gatecrashed my christening and caused a scene, she threw bricks through our windows because my Dad wouldn't leave my Mum. My parents stayed together through all of this and shielded us kids as much as they could from it.

    She drove him to a nervous breakdown, he tried to commit suicide. Fortunately he recovered and we had to live with this situation until she died. She still left a legacy - a will leaving the house to a cats home. Messy. But sorted eventually.

    All I'll say is that my Dad still loved her, even though she was the nastiest person I've ever met in this world. This is possibly the type of emotional turmoil that Pete may be experiencing.

    I can't articulate how it feels to have gone through what my family did because of her, but with some similarities to Jen and Pete's, I think I understand.
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
  • kathfisch
    kathfisch Posts: 3,042 Forumite
    HeavyHeart wrote:
    Hi, thanks again everyone

    I will be back later with the next installment :( Had a horrible experience today but not one that will kill me :)

    Jen xx

    Hoping you're ok Jen x :)
    Don't stress, relax, let life roll off your backs. Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now... Avenue Q
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 003 :DProud to have become debt free... and striving to keep it that way
  • wendym
    wendym Posts: 2,945 Forumite
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HeavyHeart
    Hi, thanks again everyone

    I will be back later with the next installment Had a horrible experience today but not one that will kill me

    Jen xx


    Hoping you're ok Jen x


    Me too Jen x
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