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Flower08

Dinah93 wrote: »

I really think you need to sit down and come to a resolution over her together. End of the day even if he doesn't agree, it upsets you, so he needs to do something about it.

I agree, but to be honest the idea of having some big confrontation scares me death incase he chose her over me. I know deep down that wont happen because he doesnt really even have that much contact with her due to her behaviour, but for this to stop he needs to cut all ties with her - and i dont feel like i have the right to demand that. Which i guess is why i just keep getting on with things and forgetting about the problem of 'her'.

Dinah93

Why does it have to be a confrontation, can't you talk about it calmly? It really shouldn't be a fight tbh.

And you have every right, she is being malicious and making you upset. He needs a kick to do it since he seems scared of doing it without prompting.

N.I.M

You guys are fighting at the moment so now is the right time to bring this up with him and get him to sort his s**t out once and for all with this one. Shes trouble and dangerous...but that all aside she upsets you and treats you like dirt. He needs to be told that this is how she makes you feel and that the trouble she is causing is putting a strain on the relationship. He needs to be shown how much this is upsetting you and how much of an issue it is cause as men we are FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! too dense to figure this stuff out on our own, if theres a problem we hit it till it goes away.

Your going to have to hold his hand a\nd lead him to the only option open to you, and all women know how to do this with their men, I dont know how Dinah does it with me but she does.

So to cut a very long story short. In whatever way you deem best tell him its her or you and that you cant go on with her causing this much hastle for you both.

Flower08

Dinah93 wrote: »

Why does it have to be a confrontation, can't you talk about it calmly? It really shouldn't be a fight tbh.

Anytime i try to talk to him about her it turns into argueing to be honest. He doesnt see that theres anything he can do about her behaviour. I guess shes getting what she wants really - causing problems between us.

I dont know i think im just overtired, we dont really do argueing so for him to storm off at 9 o clock this morning and us still not talking i've had a pretty rubbish day. I should get an early night really, but i know i'll just lie awake til he comes home - thats if he does come home.

Flower08

N.I.M wrote: »

So to cut a very long story short. In whatever way you deem best tell him its her or you and that you cant go on with her causing this much hastle for you both.

I know this is what needs doing. I just keep thinking what if he says he cant be bothered with the hassle and our relationship isnt worth it. I know that wouldnt happen but i guess its just my irrational side talking!

Its good to get a mans perspective on it though (thank you NIM!) and to know that i am not being an irrational female!

Dinah93

What time does the bar shut? If he wasn't back then and was staying out all night I would think that kind of behaviour is petty and spiteful, and a much bigger problem as he'd only stay out all night to hurt you. I wouldn't be able to sleep either x

Dinah93

Flower08 wrote: »

I know this is what needs doing. I just keep thinking what if he says he cant be bothered with the hassle and our relationship isnt worth it. I know that wouldnt happen but i guess its just my irrational side talking!

Its good to get a mans perspective on it though (thank you NIM!) and to know that i am not being an irrational female!

Honestly if he did say something like that, then he'd be right. You need to have 100% trust in a relationships strength and if you start thinking 'its not worth it' or 'it shouldnt be this hard' chances are its run its course. I'm not putting that well, but basically if someone was with someone who didn't think a relationship was worth moving hell and earth for, its not the right relationship.

Flower08

Bar shuts at 2am, but by the time they have cleared up its usually about 3am before the staff leave. I dont know if hes planning on staying til it closes though or just for a few hours.
Not really much point in texting him now to find out as it'll be loud in there so he probably wont even hear his phone.
I guess by staying there he is trying to make up for the money side of things, but thats not what im upset about - i would rather he was at home with me!

Dinah93

I'd be okay with him making back the money, after all £70 is a staggering amount to spend on a night out - NIM took £10 out with him last night!!! He's being practical about the problem, trying to make up for spending the £70 in the hope you'll let him off about the other.

N.I.M

Flower08 wrote: »

I know this is what needs doing. I just keep thinking what if he says he cant be bothered with the hassle and our relationship isnt worth it. I know that wouldnt happen but i guess its just my irrational side talking!

Its good to get a mans perspective on it though (thank you NIM!) and to know that i am not being an irrational female!

If he does comeo out and say that flower then your better off without him. Calous I know but its true.

Dinah93 wrote: »

Honestly if he did say something like that, then he'd be right. You need to have 100% trust in a relationships strength and if you start thinking 'its not worth it' or 'it shouldnt be this hard' chances are its run its course. I'm not putting that well, but basically if someone was with someone who didn't think a relationship was worth moving hell and earth for, its not the right relationship.

I be agreeing with this.

Dinah93 wrote: »

I'd be okay with him making back the money, after all £70 is a staggering amount to spend on a night out - NIM took £10 out with him last night!!! He's being practical about the problem, trying to make up for spending the £70 in the hope you'll let him off about the other.

And I came home with change