The ultimate incentive proposed! Buying a house, a wedding, and staying debt free.

clearmydebts

Hi all,

Thanks for all the good wishes about the apartment. We are getting the keys on the 17th and hope to move in on the 19th so it is all go from here on in

I'm with the others Dinah. I prefer the less fussy, informal weddings. They are always great fun and can be a bit quirky too!

wendz86

Birdie - Good luck with the wedding competition, that would be so good if you got it! I didn't get to weigh myself this morning as my sister was in the bathroom when I remembered and had to leave for work.

I hope my OH is not just winding me up, would be a bit cruel but also seems a bit obvious if he just said it to me hmm. I have been waiting that long now that I am used to the dissapointment hehe. Everyone thought he was going to propose to me when we went to Paris four years ago and that never happened (was a bit young then anyway).

wendz86

Wow CMD, not much time to get everything all packed up and ready.

clearmydebts

wendz86 wrote: »

Wow CMD, not much time to get everything all packed up and ready.

No, not long at all but I'm sure we will get it all done. I will be mostly delegating and observing, as I can't lift things and am not allowed to do much stretching!

Cinny91

Birdie85 wrote: »

I hope you haven't all forgotten me!

As if!!
When's your holiday Birdie? And where is it you're going? (I know you've said, but I get lost in all the holidays people talk about!) Good idea with the FitFlops!

That's fab news about the apartment CMD, not long till you move in either!

Dinah - If you think you'd be happy with a smallier simpler wedding then you shouldn't feel pressured to go all big and fancy. It's yours and NIMs day after all, do what makes you happy.

clearmydebts

Cinny91 wrote: »

Dinah - If you think you'd be happy with a smallier simpler wedding then you shouldn't feel pressured to go all big and fancy. It's yours and NIMs day after all, do what makes you happy.

Great advice from Cinny

poddle911

Cinny91 wrote: »

Dinah - If you think you'd be happy with a smallier simpler wedding then you shouldn't feel pressured to go all big and fancy. It's yours and NIMs day after all, do what makes you happy.

Yep, wise words from one so young!

I totally understand your issues Dinah; this is the main reason OH and I haven't planned our wedding yet. I don't actually think a smaller wedding necessarily solves the problem instantly as you'll still spend £X (rather than £XX) and will always think 'that's 5% of a house deposit' or 'our holidays for 3 years' or whatever. For us, the fact that I was out of work for nearly 6 months made us rethink the fact that we could scrape together £20k as it would pay our mortgage for 3 years.

It sounds like I'm not a fan of weddings, but really I am! I just think that once you and NIM have decided what to do, you resolve yourself not to think of what else you *could* have spent the money. Yes, it will be an expensive day, whatever you do, but it will be a fabulous start to married life and a lifetime's worth of memories - aahh, soppy!

Wendz, that's potentially very exciting news too

Great news about the apartment CMD! It's nice that you'll be all settled before baby makes an appearance.

I think I've lost 1.5lbs this week - I haven't been eating all that well, but lots of spinning! I'm a massive spin convert! Less than a year ago I swore I'd never do spin and after the first time I didn't think I'd ever do it again - heck, I didn't even think I'd walk again! - but I've been doing it twice a week for a few months and I LOVE it!! :rotfl: Still find it ridiculously hard...

How did you get on Tete?!

Tete_en_l'Air

clearmydebts wrote: »

No, not long at all but I'm sure we will get it all done. I will be mostly delegating and observing, as I can't lift things and am not allowed to do much stretching!

I was about to say something to this effect - no strain for the baby now!

Hi Birdie, nice to hear from you, you must be v excited for the hol (Dominican I think Cinny, to check it out for the wedding?) - if you do get made finalists for the comp you'll have to let us know I'll def vote.

Spinning is HARD, I thought my head might explode at one point. I must confess to being a tiny bit relieved that next week's class was already fully booked by the time I got out of the shower! I did put myself on the reserve list though.

Love the ribbon Zig - it's like a disclaimer!

ETA - Hi Poddle, cross posts! Twice a week!!! Big respect!

clearmydebts

I love the ribbon too!

I can't even cycle properly so respect to anyone who can spin. Good luck with it Tete!

Dinah93

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Dinah I think you're going to have to make some sacrifices somewhere, whether it's a smaller FTB house rather than a big £250k one, or you stay at home or rent for a bit rather than buy straight away, or you save some money by having a lower-key venue, or have a posh venue but save elsewhere like the honeymoon, dress, whatever. I just don't think that you can have everything you want in the timescale you want it and you're going to be stressed to death trying to make it work. Unless of course NIM's mum comes up with the goods.

We're not looking at £250k, closer to £150k. I know we're pushing for a lot but I've always done that, and with hard work I've never not done what I've set out to achieve, so it kind of feels like admitting defeat if we don't at least try.

wendz86 wrote: »

If you don't want the big wedding Dinah then do what you want to do, is your day! My Dad keeps saying to me the bigger the wedding the more likely you are to divorce, not necessarily true but like you said the marriage part is the most important. Can you put back the wedding or is that not really an option? A house and a wedding in that short time is a big ask.

Putting back the wedding is really, really not an option. We'd rather literally just have the wedding and no party afterwards than wait 3 years all for the sake of one big party.

Birdie85 wrote: »

I’ll wear my fitflops when I do the walk to help tone my legs!

I got some of those before Egypt but they really rubbed between my toes and so I couldn't wear them!

Dinah, I think that if you’re stressing about the cost of the wedding then go for a simpler do, why do you have to have a fancy hall that costs a bomb? Everyone I speak to says that it’s the smaller, Church-and-village-hall-type weddings that they remember as they’re much more personal, friendly and fun.

Everyone says this, but I've been to two and they were for want of a better word, dire. One was cold, musty and you didn't want to sit down in case there was something in the seat that would burrow into your flesh, and the other just had no atmosphere at all and everyone went home by 10pm!

I’ve entered a Win a Wedding competition with our local radio station, I hope we get picked as finalists, if we do I’ll be begging you all to vote for us!

Best of luck to you

clearmydebts wrote: »

Hi all,
I'm with the others Dinah. I prefer the less fussy, informal weddings. They are always great fun and can be a bit quirky too!

I think our option is to scale back the honeymoon rather than the wedding if it comes to it. We can have an amazing holiday anytime, but only get one shot at a wedding.

Cinny91 wrote: »

Dinah - If you think you'd be happy with a smallier simpler wedding then you shouldn't feel pressured to go all big and fancy. It's yours and NIMs day after all, do what makes you happy.

I really doubt I'd be happy with a little wedding though, I want all mine and NIMs friends and family there with us, thats what a wedding is all about surely, celebrating with those you love?! If it was just a legal process it could be done next week on our lunchbreak!

poddle911 wrote: »

I totally understand your issues Dinah; this is the main reason OH and I haven't planned our wedding yet. I don't actually think a smaller wedding necessarily solves the problem instantly as you'll still spend £X (rather than £XX) and will always think 'that's 5% of a house deposit' or 'our holidays for 3 years' or whatever. For us, the fact that I was out of work for nearly 6 months made us rethink the fact that we could scrape together £20k as it would pay our mortgage for 3 years.

It sounds like I'm not a fan of weddings, but really I am! I just think that once you and NIM have decided what to do, you resolve yourself not to think of what else you *could* have spent the money. Yes, it will be an expensive day, whatever you do, but it will be a fabulous start to married life and a lifetime's worth of memories - aahh, soppy!

We do know what we want, its just working out how to afford it I guess. We don't have a problem with spending the money, we have a problem that we can't save it in time!!!

zigmeister wrote: »

I could be wrong, but wasn't Grinkle cheaper than Wynyard? So that can only be a good thing that you prefer it! Does it have to be a big/grand venue? I like the look of the ones outside where people sit on hay bales and stuff! But obviously you've got to be into that sort of thing!

Grinkle is a stunning £87 cheaper than Wynyard, so pretty much no difference! Outside has the very obvious problem of this being the UK and it will probably rain! Plus I really don't like the idea of being in the mud on my wedding day, weddings should be pretty and elegant in my mind.

Went into town for a MS lunch today, and went to look at the china patterns. We didn't find any that grabbed us, one was quite nice, but we did get some new pillows on half price, big foam hypoalergenic ones as we're both asthmatic and NIM esoecially seems to react to ours. We also got a big Tripp suitcase bag thing reduced from £125 to £32 ready for our honeymoon. Best of all I forgot about weddings for 2 hours. Now back to reality.