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Benefit cheat - but family member - help?
Comments
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Its a difficult one but will you be able to live with your decision if you give her up to the social. If you are prepared to tell the social then be prepared to smile and lie to her face. Be prepared for her to be in a worse financial position and with a possible criminal conviction. Job prospects will then be nil.
Another way would be the honesty route , tell her that unless she stops you will report her. Be prepared for the fall out and for your name to be mud in the family.Watch out for the tit for tat reactions. People hold grudges for a long time and its not nice to be on the receiving end.
Another way would be to say nothing and keep your grudges and opinions to your self. This way you can smile and simmer underneath. It wont be easy as you will see the money being passed over and know its fraud.
You could console yourself by thinking of all those rich people who evade the tax system, the bankers who creamed the money off after being given millions of tax payers money,the mps who fiddled their expenses and the queen who pays less council tax for her palace than a couple in a three bedroomed house.
Its up to you.0 -
belfastgirl23 wrote: »couldn't have said it better. Why is it your business anyway? Living on benefits is tough. It's fine as long as your kids don't need new shoes or the sofa doesn't break. An extra £50 a week makes a huge difference at this income level. Give them a break!!!
In fairness - I do have to bear in mind here that I was only thinking the other day "I wonder if I could possibly manage to exist on dole money if it came to it - now that I'm doing even more economising than ever". I came to the conclusion that - even with the very extreme economising I could do if I had the time, ie:
- using waterbutt water (filtered if need be) instead of mains water as far as possible
- growing all the food I could possibly squeeze into my tiny garden
- I dont have to pay a tv licence anyway - as I watch the handful of tv programmes I'm interested in seeing on iplayer (ie AFTER they have been broadcast - so a licence isnt necessary)
- using a wind-up radio and wind-up light as far as possible instead of the mains equivalent
- never buying any newspapers
- even doing without my coffee:eek: pro tem
that it would NOT be possible for me to manage. I have my doubts as to whether I could manage on a week-to-week basis - but the second I needed to visit my dentist (NOT an NHS one - so still payable)/visit my chiropodist/replace any item of clothing more expensive than socks or knickers/etc - then I wouldnt be able to manage unless I had savings to draw on to cover the cost of these things. If the savings had been used up or didnt exist in the first place - then I couldnt manage and would need to earn a little money "on the side" just to ensure that the bills were paid and the larder remained full.
As an honest/hardworking person - I would hate to have been put in this position - but I couldnt see what else I could do to have enough money to manage on (if I had no savings).
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Having said that - I WOULD have a concern that the child wasnt being brought up properly and taught a good grasp of language skills before it starts school. I would also expect that my child knew how to read and write and to do very simple arithmetic before it started school. All hell would be let loose if I was paying a family member to bring up my child for me in my absence and I found that they werent being taught those skills.....or, at the very least, if the SIL isnt very intelligent, then I would still expect her to teach my child a decent vocabulary and make up for the other skills being absent by teaching my child how to cook/about Nature/etc. They would certainly be teaching my child some sort of "skills" for their money - be it educational ones or "life skills" - or "I'd want to know the reason why" IYSWIM.0 -
the question is how can you prove she getting the money from working my folks gave me 25 quid for me birthday my sister gave me a fiver does that make me a benifit thief of i dont decalre it family donations dont count so therefore all your sil sister has to sya is she giving it as a family donation end of investigation
completely different, birthday money is a gift, your family are not getting childcare or any other service in return!'we don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing'0 -
Based on some of the comments in the OP, it seems like you already have a bit of a grudge against SIL1. I find myself wondering if she were living more in a style you approved of, would you be so critical of this? You even stated that part of it is SIL2's gloating of materialistic things as well, which certainly isn't SIL1's fault.
Personally, I think you should take some time to evaluate just why it bothers you so much that you can't let it go and want to report it. And I'm curious what your DH's opinion on this is - does HE think you should report it?MSE mum of DS(7), and DS(4) (and 2 adult DCs as well!)DFW Long haul supporters No 210:snow_grin Christmas 2013 is coming soon!!! :xmastree:0 -
So if the OP's motives for wanting to shop her SIL weren't anything less than honourable then that would mean the fraud was ok and shouldn't be reported? ehhh what????
I'm not saying that benefits are great or allow a great life etc... they're there to ensure people don't starve to death! I have a stepsister who believes the state "owes" her a comfortable lifestyle. She's incredibly talented in several areas but frankly is a lazy money grabbing partying sponge... If for one second I thought she was cheating the system then I don't care that she's family - I'd find a way of reporting her even if she DOES live in another country where I have never paid a penny of tax!
I've always found work, I've had a total of 2 weeks of income benefit and I only claimed that to activate my mortgage insurance when I lost my job 9 years ago... Other than that I've always found something. My mum did the same - despite having been a webmaster for the danish equivalent of Tesco or Asda and several other high end jobs she took a job washing stairs in a towerblock when that was all there was... If I had to go and be a cleaner to pay my way then that's what I'd do - if I had to have 2 jobs, then that's what would have to happen. Would I do "cash in hand"? Certainly not if I was on benefits! It's one thing to do a one off job like an evenings baby sitting once a month and being a childminder (which is what this SIL is doing!) and not declaring it or getting properly registered! Just because she's a mum does not mean she's fit to mind other children and as this is a regular arrangement and she's getting paid for it then it's 100% fraud - pure and simple.DFW Nerd #025DFW no more! Officially debt free 2017 - now joining the MFW's!
My DFW Diary - blah- mildly funny stuff about my journey0 -
I don't expect any of you feel the same level of rage towards fat-cat bosses and the way big business drains our tax resources
But I do, I have even more to say about fat-cat bosses using clever accountants to hide their earnings and they end up paying a paltry sum of tax and have a net income of about £12.52p
I grew up on benefits, so I do know how terrible it is, however that was in the 70s when it really was a paltry amount to keep a family with. (Thankfully) I've worked non-stop since I was sixteen, so don't really know what level of benefits there are out there nowadays.
I knew a guy who was claiming incapacity benefit based on his fear of going out in public, he'd stand and tell me about it in the pub. He also played in a band for extra money.
Should he be left to get on with it because the owner of the brewery of the pub he's in has an accountant to minimise the tax paid??
I think not....Member of the first Mortgage Free in 3 challenge, no.19
Balance 19th April '07 = minus £27,640
Balance 1st November '09 = mortgage paid off with £1903 left over. Title deeds are now ours.0 -
When I looked up the rules on relatives receiving money for childminding some time ago for a thread on here, it said that you do not need to be registered if a close relative BUT you can not recieve help via tax credits or childcare vouchers to help with the cost unless the relative registers as a childminder and also childminds at least one other non-related child (which explains why some grandparents have registered as childminders). Unfortunately I can't find the link I used and there isn't a great deal about it on the net.0
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I really don't undserstand all this 'its hard living on benefits rubbish.' She will have to do like the rest of us and get a job then! I work with several single parents who do a wonderful job, why should there taxes pay for her to sit at home. I know its not easy, but thats the choice you make and plently of people do it.:heart2: Newborn Thread Member :heart2:
'Children reinvent the world for you.' - Susan Sarandan0 -
If it wasn't family-member I probably would consider grassing them up to the DSS but as the OP's SIL is family even if not a blood-relative I certainly would not, the risks would just be too great. Just imagine the furore if it was found out exactly who did the grassing. Much too risky0
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You are only party to the knowledge of one sister helping out another because as a family member, they trust you. As you have already made your feelings known, they WILL know it was you who shopped them. This will have lots of negative consequences including making life very difficult for your husband. They are his kith and kin.
As annoying as it is to you I think overall it would be better to stay out of it. You can live with all the fat cat TAX EVADERS sponging more than people on benefits. I bet they hardly ever come into your mind so it must be possible to bite your tongue on this one.
Just let your husband visit his sisters on his own and ask him not to talk about them to you. That would be more honest.It's great to be ALIVE!0
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