my MIL has took over my wedding planning and is organising things without telling me

shellsuit

One more thing about having words with her AFTER the wedding.

It will look like the pair of you have used her to get your cake/catering/bits done here and there, because if you have words beforehand, she may pull out of what she's offered to do.

If I were you, yes it would annoy me that she hadn't told me about the bridesmaids dresses, but I couldn't, just could NOT sit on an internet forum, slating the woman, calling her a b!tch, while expecting her to come up trumps with food and a wedding cake for me!

And if you think she's trying to be a cow and take over, what about your bridesmaids?! Why didn't they tell you about the fitting/straps etc??

I honestly think it was meant to be a suprise, to take a load off you.

I can't see you MIL to be, AND the bridesmaids all being in cahoots with each other, can you?

shellsuit

debs2327 wrote: »

1 , baz has felt the same about his mother before me i actually liked her it was him who kept telling me what she was like with some other family members and i maybe be stupidly didnt belive him

2, my mil knows what shes doing and yes none of you know her and never will but i know what she has done she knew what she was doing

3, i need to say thanks for doing our cake and catering yes and we will with smiles on our faces as we are gratefull as that is what we asked her to do and she agreed but the rest no i could say thanks for making me feel pushed out of my wedding and making me miss out on important things to do with our wedding , i have even bought her a thank you gift and will order her her flowers for the cake and catering so no im not that nasty



3 the catering she offered to do the catering as she does at any family do and no she wasnt too busy sorting out my wedding SHE ASKED ME TO GET THEM THE DAY BEFORE SO I GOT THEM FOR HER TO TELL ME SHE`S ALREADY BOUGHT THEM so she asked me 1 day then went and bought them the next day

4, as for the talking to her me and baz has decided together not to say anything cos as WE know her it will cause a big family argument and we have 2 n half weeks to go and we want a lovely day as its what we deserve just as any other couple does we dont want a black cloud to be hung over the wedding ,

5 , i really cant belive if this happened to you if you were planning your wedding you would not be upset and feel pushed our if your mil or other family member done these things to you ,

6 , oh and the last comment of the mok conversation we are not nasty ppl and would not be sarcastic and only wanted to be involved in my bridesmaids not have the whole time taken off me ,

this will be my last post on this as i am trying my hardest to put this at the back of my mind and enjoy my last few days of planning i really cant understand y im getting picked on here all i wanted is to feel like a bride but i guess that isnt how it always is xx

You'll feel like a bride on your wedding day. At the moment you are a bride to be. And a stressed and ratty one at that!

If there is a problem, nip it in the bud now.

Why let it fester to only bring it up again once the wedding is over?

In other words, thanks for the food, thanks for the cake, but you are a b!tch doing X and X and not telling us about X and X.......saying that will make you both look childish.

If it's such a big deal, sort it now, or forget all about it and enjoy your married life!


Forgot to say, if it happened to me, I'd say something ~ as soon as it happened (or maybe the next day).

I wouldn't sit and let it worry/upset/hurt/anger me.

I'd sort it out ASAP.

RustyFlange

debs2327 wrote: »

5 , i really cant belive if this happened to you if you were planning your wedding you would not be upset and feel pushed our if your mil or other family member done these things to you ,

this will be my last post on this as i am trying my hardest to put this at the back of my mind and enjoy my last few days of planning i really cant understand y im getting picked on here all i wanted is to feel like a bride but i guess that isnt how it always is xx

Ok so I am not going to bother replying to the rest of the post as it is pointless as you haven't actually read anything.

I haven't said I wouldn't be upset, however I think some of it is over reacting. thats my own personal opinion though. like you said I don't know her, neither do I know you.

As for you trying to put it to the back of your mind, if you were trying to do that they you would never have started a post calling your MIL a B!tch and letting others also do so. I am sorry if I have upset you by this, normally I wouldn't bother to post on threads like this but the way you replied to Mrcow was out of order and personally I think deserves an apology! but hey ho!

Hope you have a nice wedding!

mrshaigh2b1987

i think that every1 shud calm down! Blummin heck! This is startin to look like bullying! Debs if u want to rant at us bout all things weddingy then go 4 it hun thats wat were here 4. I do think its harsh sum1 callin ur mil a b'tch tho but that wasnt u. Enjoy ur planning and dont let these ppl ruin ur last cpl wks x x x x x

debs2327

well shes put annother spanner in the works she text baz this morning to tell him she told the venue to do the catering no explanation at all now ive had baz in tears this morning cos he cant take any more and is so worried what else she might do and is now soooo worried incase i leave him because of her, weve seeen her try to put a wedge inbetween other couple in there family which resulted in them not speaking , i feel numb at the fact a mil would do any of this 2 wks before her sons wedding now i know she is evil and does have evil thoughts i guess i just never thought shed show them before the wedding , i`ll probally get slatted down for this but honestly none of you can ever hurt me as much as shes hurt me so go ahead have your rant at me

Herbiecat

Why are you all communicating in txt messages. Why don't you pick and the phone and discuss things, that way everyone knows whats going on. Txt and email causes all sorts of problems.

Yes I feel for you Debs but I dont think you are doing anything to sort the situation, why let it fester? Be the bigger person and pick up the phone and chat about things calmly or get your husband to call her. I would hope if I was this upset my OH would be manly enough to speak to his mother and say "hold your horses", he is your future protector and support get him to start now. (That last bit sounds dead old fashioned but I think you know what i mean)

Just my opinion.

Chris

paulies_nixie

Oh Hun what a nightmare.
Huge big hugs to you both!!!

Did she say why she didnt want to do the catering now? Was there a reason?
Is there budget for that? I mean will you have to find the cash for it?

Some people are just horrid - I dont know if your MIL is one of them, but they know the things that will pee you off, just the little things. They keep doing them till you break. And it's the sort of thing if you said "soandso did this" people look at you funny and dont understand. My sis does it. I dont think she does it to be mean although I know there are people that do. And you end up being the villan. But the long and short is you end up in a right state and everyone thinks your a bit loopy coz it was 'only x, y or z' what they dont understand is Z was really important to you , and this other person knew that. Makes you feel outside and not involved and for me - really out of control.
I can only imagine this is a hundred times worse when it's your wedding.
My mum took over my first wedding and I didnt care. But I think that was the problem with the whole wedding - I wasnt bothered - it didnt last. This time no one helps, no ones involved, no one decides what we want but us! I know it's not always possible and I really understand why you asked her to do the cake and the catering.
I have this mad dream that everyone will want to be involved and it'll be like 'a propper family' I'm starting to think thats just lala land and not reality - Just the Waltons.
Mum hates our choice of location, she'll go nuts if we choose the venue we're gonna look at - but it's OUR day. And if I had bridesmaids, you bet I'd be in on the fittings. like you've said before it's your vision.

I really hope all this comes out in the wash!
I really feel for you guys.

I dont know what else to say - except I understand. I truely do.

Stephb1986_2

She just can't help herself can she? Who's going to pay for that then? I think it's a bit out of order considering its only 2 weeks to your wedding she should of done this months ago. If she keeps acting like this then she will have a rubbish day on your wedding.

Sending you both love and hugs

Steph xx

poppyolivia

I'm lost...why not go see the dresses...look at them say yip they are nice but I think they do look better without straps??...get them taken off.....and say you aren't keen on the shoes and go up the town and buy more.......it seems ALOT of fuss about boooooger all?????????????? She will take the hint then surely?

shellsuit

Herbiecat is right deb, you or Baz pick the phone up and ask her why she's changed her mind about the catering and does she realise the short notice she's left you with, not to mention extra expense.

Something has obviously bugged her so you need to get to the bottom of it.

We're not ranting at you, of course we all want you to have a fantastic day, but sometimes you need to spell it out to people how they are making you feel.

Don't let her make you both upset, contact her and see what the hell is going on.