my MIL has took over my wedding planning and is organising things without telling me

floss2

debs2327 wrote: »

.....but what else has botheres me is she has had straps put on them which i was ok with the younger ones as she asked me if i wouldnt mind the straps put on but she has had straps put on them all so now they dont match my dress , it is all confussing as to the way she has done it , but apparently she has done it so it was a suprisse for me to have them all done......

Maybe you could use this as an excuse to remove everything from her home - "you had not been told about all the straps, and they were not planned, so now your bridal party dresses are not as you had wanted".

Tyr to emphasise this rather than the "interfering". If she realises she has messed up with them, she may back off.

Good luck

emlou2009

i think she probably thought she was just helping, but has way over stepped the mark! i'm so pleased my MIL2b is too busy to get involved with anything, not that she would really i dont think. has she got any daughters? do you think she might be doing this cos she wants to be a "mother of the bride" type and she thinks that to do that she needs to be really involved?

lauhen

Whether you talk to her or not is your decision, my mil as I said did not speak to me once on my wedding day, but I didn't care at all, I had a great day with everything how I wanted, things went on before this that made it icy. We are fine now, 8 years later. Are you taking everything to do with the wedding to your house, I would, just say that you want to go through everything to make sure it's how you want it. As I said can you not have your family involved ( I don't think you answered this in other posts, sorry if you have).
Please take control of your day.

student_advisor

re the dresses: if straps can be added, surely straps can be taken away again? snip snip snip:rotfl:

Tina_Tigress

Haven't read all the threads above as they're too long. What I will say is that YOU must talk to her down NOW and explain to her how you feel. She, on the other hand, may feel that she is helping. If she can't take a hint and continuously meddles then you really are in for a tough time with her and she may become the third person in your marriage. Good luck. Don't forget its YOUR DAY.

Tina_Tigress

forgot to delete the word down pls ignore it

mrcow

I think you are over reacting to say the least.

What has she actually done that you didn't want her to do? Helped to get (some of the) the bridesmaids dresses altered (and?), help them pick their shoes (who is going to give a flying fig what shoes anyone is wearing? No one is even going to see them), seen two people wearing a couple of waistcoats (and what? they are her grandsons, is she not even allowed to look? Does she need your permission to do so?) and bought some platters (you asked her to sort out the food anyway, so she's just going what she's asked).

Seriously.......take a step back and breathe.

What on Earth has this woman done that you would condone another member on here calling her a b1tch? She is your future husband's mother and you are being insulting and ungrateful about some outfits and some food platters that she has tried to help you with.

The woman was trying to help. I see nothing in your posts that have suggested that she's doing anything out of malice.

I understand that you are stressed, but this is ridiculous.

This is the same woman that lovingly made you your beautiful wedding cake? Yeah right - what a b1tch she is. Shame on you.

Raini

Mrcow I completely disagree. Although I don't condone the language used this is an incredibly difficult situation to be in. It's so hard to tell your future in-laws to back off politely!

Debs, I would however, take the high road. But I would politely (as possible) and firmly make it known how much she has hurt you. "Thank you MiL for all your help but I had so wished for the bridesmaids to be in the dresses I had imagined." Or something to that effect! I hate to say it but it is so sad that you are looking forward to your vow renewals in 5 years time - I think that says it all.

At the end of the day you could be getting married in a cow shed wearing a bin liner & just cows for witnesses but as long as you are marrying the one you love does it really matter? I know it feels like it does but, hopefully, all you'll remember is your vows & the fun & smiles & not what your MiL did or didn't do.

debs2327

i beg you sodding pardon mrcow
my mil has took all the time a bride is supposed to have with there bridesmaids away from me they have all lied to my face as her and my bridesmaids kept it from me that they even had a fitting even though i have been asking her to organise a date so i can be there and we can all go up but she has done this without even telling me what right has she got to go and organise my bridesmaids without telling me it should be me who goes with them for there fittings to see if they are how i wanted them to look as after all they are supposed to be MY BRIDESMAIDS
the page boys yes i do think she is out of order buying MY SONS SUIT that is mine and my h2b`s job its our special time with our son and she didnt tell me either about that so yeh she is out of order
the platters yeh she was wrong about them SHE asked me to get them and i did but didnt tell me that she`d already bought them , yes she is doing our catering but i was asked to buy them !!!!!!!!!!! again MINE AND BAZ`S WEDDING !!!!!!!!
yes she is making our cake but even that she has tried her hardest to do it her way as we wanted spice and sponge layers and what have we got all spice layers so weve had to make sure the decoration is how we want with ONLY the flowers and monograms AGAIN IM THE BRIDE BAZ IS THE GROOM AND I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION IT WAS OUR DAY !!!!!!!!!!
SHE HAS TOOK OVER ENOUGH THINGS NOT ANY MORE !!!!!

anotherbigspender

Forgive me I haven't read the whole thread, but have you tried talking to the woman?