KP's Another year older another year wiser?

Keeping_Positive

Debt all mine hes in the middle of a DRO. House is rented housing association. He wont go anywhere as the kids are all he has and doesnt want to end up in a bedsit somewhere and I wouldnt want that.

Looking at the benefits he would be reasonably well off but I would be worse espacially if CSA became involved I would have to pay £86 a week and he wouldnt see any of if. I wouldnt be able to afford much else other than a bedsit myself to be able to pay the debt.

I was hoping to pay him £50 a week for him to use on top of the benefir monies but my Sis says if he was on income support they would have to become involved.

beanielou

Blimey £86 is a lot.
But at the end of the day you cant make your decision purely based on money.
It has to be what is best for YOU in the long term.

hypno06

((hugs))

All I can say, is that whichever way you decide to go, think very carefully and thoroughly about what you want, what you don't want, how it will work if you do x and how it will work if you do y.

One of my biggest problems as "the one left behind" was a lack of answers to my questions "why" "what was it you thought would be better" etc, and actually, had those answers ever materialised at the outset it may have been possible for us to sort things out as we would have had something tangible to work with.

Alternatively, those answers may just reinforce your reasons for leaving, with you being able to be certain about what you are doing and why, and that equally is very important to both of you.

What doesn't work is a constant "I don't know what I want" from one or other of you - so take this time to brainstorm your own needs, feelings and deep down gut feelings, so that whatever way you turn is the right way for you.

And if it is the right way, then it will work itself out, whether that is you being together, or apart.

xx

dizzy_lizzie

Hi KP. Hope you are being able to see things a little clearer today.
Luvz Dizzy x
♥

Keeping_Positive

Need to speak tgo OH - hes been out today.

Seen a 2 bed house around the corner that I may be able to stretch to if I can avoid the full CSA. I cant see from direct.gov that we have to go that route and a private arrangement would be enough. Also I could have the kids at weekends and may be more as they can walk there fron our current house and from school.

Will investigqte more tomorrow.

Keeping_Positive

Thank you all for your support and advice. I cant reallt explain why things arent working although Im sure you may have an idea from follwing my posts over the years. I think I have just grown up and want/need something else. I do know I dont things to stay as they are. Life is too short I dont want Iit to pass me by with me being miserable. I work too hard for that and not just "at work".

boredofbeingathome

Keeping_Positive wrote: »

Thank you all for your support and advice. I cant reallt explain why things arent working although Im sure you may have an idea from follwing my posts over the years. I think I have just grown up and want/need something else. I do know I dont things to stay as they are. Life is too short I dont want Iit to pass me by with me being miserable. I work too hard for that and not just "at work".

Hi KP- lots of decisions to make there hugs xx

Just a thought to throw in-if you went for joint custody and they split the week-then there would be no need for you to go through CSA i would have thought.
I have read of this working out quite well. I am not sure of your circumstances for making this work re picking up from school and whatnot.

beanielou

I can only echo your thoughts on life is too short.
Hope you can make the right decision for you xxx
Hope the house works out.

taxi73

Hugs KP...I can totally go with the way you feel and you have tomake the right deciscion for you.

Keeping_Positive

Well Im looking for flats but seems hard work everything online seems to have gone . WSill only move to within walking distance so the kids can easily visit etc.

Ex OH and I getting on fine. He and the kids are buying me a hamster for my birthday as I went a bit dippy over the school one.

Today will be a fun day. Pressies to open, then shopping for the hamster followed by cinema and a meal.

Just over a year since I started this diary and I think I am wiser. Debt is down although not as much as I would like its still on the right way.

Thank you all for your support even though I havent been there for you as much