Please help a new mum - baby will not sleep!

skintchick

WestonDave wrote: »

Does she sleep better in the daytime - our youngest became nocturnal for a while and we had to "force" his day and night to switch back to ours.

No she sleeps better at night, but it's still only if she is held or right next to me (and she prefers to be held).

WestonDave

Oh and how quickly are you trying to move her - I used to have to wait near enough ten minutes with our first until he moved into a deep enough sleep to be moved without waking - there are as you probably know different stages of sleep and the initial stages are very light, after about 5-10 minutes they get deeper, before coming back into light sleep after about 40 minutes. Knowing that sometimes helps with knowing when you can make noise, move them etc.

skintchick

kerry13238 wrote: »

why dont you try the 10 steps. feed her change then put down leave her for 1 min then go back in comfort her but dont pick her up then go back out do the same for 2min and so on i did it with my son it reasured him but also let him know that that was were he should be and it was night time its hard to do but it worked with my son i had been sleeping in his cot till i tried that.

I can;t because she will cry and cry until she is screaming. We cannot settle her. She refuses to be comforted once she is crying, except by being fed.

skintchick

WestonDave wrote: »

Oh and how quickly are you trying to move her - I used to have to wait near enough ten minutes with our first until he moved into a deep enough sleep to be moved without waking - there are as you probably know different stages of sleep and the initial stages are very light, after about 5-10 minutes they get deeper, before coming back into light sleep after about 40 minutes. Knowing that sometimes helps with knowing when you can make noise, move them etc.

I usually eait 10-15 minutes until she seems deep in sleep, but she always wakes! Even if I just transfer her to OH and he holds her - she knows it's not me!

smartie12

skintchick wrote: »

Tried one, but she didn;t like it cos of the shape, Waiting for the cherry dummies to arrive so we can try them.

I was against them but to be honest will try anything now except Cry It out!!

Do give them a try and don't feel guilty about using a dummy! I used them and they were a great help;)

Hope they arrive soon

scottishchick27

I swore I'd never use a dummy but gave in too. I also found the cherry ones were the best as it seemed to stay in her mouth better.

seven-day-weekend

smartie12 wrote: »

Just a quick thought.... dummy.

Would you consider one??? Some people think they're not great but they can be a lifesaver.

Was thinking exactly that myself. Sometimes they just want the comfort of sucking.

Swaddling too can make them feel more secure.

sandiep

The problem is, skintchick you'll find this out if you have a second, that the NHS completely reverse all of their advice and recommendations annually. Things go in and out of favour based on the latest report and recommendations, and the professionals have to toe the line, they have to tell you what the protocols say. They can't give the real honest advice that they may want to.

Many mums who carry on breastfeeding, give their baby a bottle of formula last thing at night to help fill them up. There is no harm in trying this. The professionals will talk about this confusing the baby and making breastfeeding harder, but that's because that's what the protocol is. Somehow, millions of babies in the UK over the years have managed to cope and haven't all starved or grown up with feeding/developmental problems.

Don't set yourself high too expectations, be kind to yourself. New born babies are very hard work, and if you back only a few years, your gran would never be in the situation that you are, she would have had her mum living in, or coming in several times a day to help with baby and the house, there would have been aunties and friends popping in and out, taking the baby for a while, doing the washing/ironing etc.

Somehow, we as a society seem to have fallen into the belief that a mum should be able to look after a new born baby 24/7 with no help or proper support & advice (ie from family rather than a 10minute appointment from a health visitor once a month).

And finally, any mother that tells you that they're baby sleeps all night every night is either exagerating or lying. They don't, partic at 4 weeks. (When you quiz such mums further you eventually find out that it's really that the baby goes from midnight to 5am ) Its back to the point above that there seems to be a fear of failure if you can't do it all perfectly 24/7.

So the first thing that I would recommend is that you give yourself a pat on the back and be proud of where you're at, and stop giving yourself a hard time.

skintchick

She is a very sucky baby so the dummies might help. She is also very clingy and cry-y!! I always said I wanted 3 children but now cannot imagine doing this again - I really am pretty much hating every minute right now I don;t want to be a dairy tanker any more

jenhug

maybe your milk isn't filling enough~? you could try supplementing with a formula bottle?