Please help a new mum - baby will not sleep!

skintchick

Ok, this is kind of MSe cos the cot we bought for our LO is going to waste because she will not sleep.

I mean, she gets tired, then she gets overtired, but she fights sleep tooth and nail. She demands to be fed when she gets upset, which of course happens about once an hour because she is so tired.

We tried putting her in the crib and picking her up to calm her, to try and then put her back down, but she does not get calm!

She will eventually sleep in our arms, or on my chest, but this is rubbish and not sustainable long term. She will also go to sleep in the sling but again, I cannot walk around for two or three hours at a time just to get her to sleep!

I am exhausted, OH goes back to work on Wednesday, I have a history of depression and I am terrified of being on my own with her - I don;t know how to cope because she just eats or cries the whole time.

She is nearly 4 weeks old. All we want is to be able to get her to sleep on her own in her crib which attaches to our bed. Is that so much to ask?

I can cope with piles, I can cope with thrush (me and her), I can cope with latching issues and the associated pain, I can even cope with hourly feeds when she is awake just so long as I can get her to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time occasionally!

HOw can I sleep with her when I have to carry her round?

PLease don;t merge this with the Parent Thread cos I hardly get any time to come on and I can;t search through loads of posts to find help. I'm desperate. Please can anyone advise?

I wanted to be more attached parent than gina Ford but this is ridiculous!

ukjoel

we had similar problem and were advised on the last feed before putting them asleep give them loads of milk or formula. 10 ounces i think.

It worked - slept through the night

skintchick

ukjoel wrote: »

we had similar problem and were advised on the last feed before putting them asleep give them loads of milk or formula. 10 ounces i think.

It worked - slept through the night

I'm breastfeeding and she eats loads already! She has about three or four cluster feeds in the evening so must be getting loads of milk.

Some of the problem is she wakes up to have a poo and gets so upset by it she won;t go back to sleep till she has fed again (and yes she is hunbgry cos she stays on for 15-20 mins).

I didn;t want to use formula but it is getting very tempting

scottishchick27

My dd was like that when she was little too. We used to wrap (swaddle) her tightly in a fleece blanket and it used to work. I think it made her feel like she was being held. I'd also put a nightie that I'd worn the night before near her so that she could smell me off of it.

Hang in there hun, it does get easier even though it doesn't feel like it at the time.

jha

Skinty - I dont have any help but just wanted to send you a big HUG :grouphug: as you have already done wonderfully well (know you from preg / parent thread) Hopefully someone will be along in a min to help you out.

smartie12

Make sure the cot is in a dark room so she gets to know the difference between sleep time and awake time. Put her down with no eye contact and without talking. Maybe have a radio on quietly so there's still some noise in the background.

I used all the above with my DS and he soon got into a routine (it was 13 years ago though:eek::o)

And remember she'll be able to pick up on when you are stressed so try to chill out a bit;)

sandiep

Is it possible for her to sleep in the bed with you? I had exactly the same problem with my first, every time i put her in the cot she'd wake. I was self employed, hubby worked silly hours, and we didn't have the strength to fight it.

But she would sleep 100% restful and peaceful in bed with us. So, that's what we did. We found that when she woke, she simply wanted reassurance that we were there, and simply touching her hand sent her back to sleep. It also makes the nightime feeds very simple and convenient.


I know that some people are very against babies in your bed, but the thing that I learnt about bringing up children is that you do what works well for you, you take the advice you like and you ignore the stuff that you don't. It's what parents have done for absolutely thousands of years, and are still doing all around the world in countries that raise babies based on a family centred method, where grandparents and extended families are all involved, and where parenthood isn't something dictated by health care professionals (most of whom haven't had kids) and in books written and sold for money.

pollypenny

My DS needed to be wrapped tightly too.

With my DD, the health visitor suggested a quarter of a Liga biscuit mashed in milk before bed. It was a long time ago and I don't even now if they are still around.

Have you asked your health visitor?

skintchick

The cot is in our room and the curtains are light but I don;t like dark curtains...

how would you deal with her screaming? once she starts she continues until she is fed again, and sometimes carries on afterwards!

kerry13238

have you thought about collic my daughter used to cry all night every night unless i was feeding her then she would sleep but as soon as she stoped ten min after the crying started again. i went to the doctors and she was perscribed gavascon infant it helped loads. i also breast fed and found it really hard to eat much as so many foods made her colic worse no onion,everything had to be completely plain that i ate kfc was absolute nightmare i had it once and she was in pain all night. the only thing that would stop her crying was to feed her i suppose hunger pains were getting confused with wind

skintchick

sandiep wrote: »

Is it possible for her to sleep in the bed with you? I had exactly the same problem with my first, every time i put her in the cot she'd wake. I was self employed, hubby worked silly hours, and we didn't have the strength to fight it.

But she would sleep 100% restful and peaceful in bed with us. So, that's what we did. We found that when she woke, she simply wanted reassurance that we were there, and simply touching her hand sent her back to sleep. It also makes the nightime feeds very simple and convenient.


I know that some people are very against babies in your bed, but the thing that I learnt about bringing up children is that you do what works well for you, you take the advice you like and you ignore the stuff that you don't. It's what parents have done for absolutely thousands of years, and are still doing all around the world in countries that raise babies based on a family centred method, where grandparents and extended families are all involved, and where parenthood isn't something dictated by health care professionals (most of whom haven't had kids) and in books written and sold for money.

Well we do this already but she still is unsettled until she eventually goes off, and then snuffles around a lot and wakes frequently unless she is on my chest.

And we want her to sleep in her co-sleep crib, which is after all attached to our bed so pretty darn close to me anyway! It's just she wants body contact.