Taking control of my life

GeorgeUK

Hi Ames, just popping in to see how you're doing.

Hope you enjoy the holiday.

dancingfairy

Hi Ames - how was the holiday? Hope you had a fab time.
df

Ames

Well, I'm well overdue an update (sorry), so it's gonna be a long one (even more sorry). Eek, it's even longer than I expected, so I'll give virtual chocolates, biscuits and beer or wine to anyone who gets to the bottom!

Well, I guess it's best to split my life lately into sections, so I'll start with the finances.

I overspent a bit in Venice, not too badly though. A big problem is that my current account is around £60 down on what it should be based on what's gone out since last time I checked IB. That's about how much a Tesco delivery on Monday is going to be, so I'm hoping the two are connected, otherwise I have to really tighten my belt for the next month or so.

So, I have four accouts. My current, an ISA which I'm saving £90pm for f&f's in, an empty one which will be for my direct payments for a carer, and an old basic account which is going to be my virtual change jar, saving for a sofa. I'm going to start using that from next month (which starts on Tuesday), and also add in anything from Amazon (currently £6.10), Quidco and daily clicks. In RL I have three piggy banks. Henry, the big pig, is now saving for the £80 shelf unit I want. The camper van is for 20ps and that's for a small external hard drive since my computers so unreliable. Then there's the £2 one, for a holiday.

Next up, health. Physical - I found out the day I went to Venice that I've been referred to the haematologists, which means I'll be having a bone marrow test. I'm not scared about the results or anything, just how much it'll hurt. I'm going to ask lots of questions first though, and make sure I've got a few days off afterwards to sleep and things in case I need it. I've also been asked to go to get more blood tests done at the GP's. When they get back I'm going to see my GP, I've got lots of questions to ask about where we go from here, what the immunologists have said and things. I'm also going to make a totally logical, and therefore radical and amazing, suggestion - that they also send results to my immunologist, so that they've got a bigger picture to look at. I'm annoyed with the GP I saw last time though. I asked for a prescription for 2 weeks while I went away. He gave me it but made me bring back the weekly one that overlapped so it could be cancelled. His consideration was a bit wiped out though by him giving me two months worth of one of them. But the muppet managed to change my prescriptions to fortnightly as standard. That's far more convenient for me, but also far more dangerous. So I'm going to mention it to my usual one and get it changed back. You'd think the youngest one in the practice (he looks around 12) would know how to use computers!

Mental. I've not heard anything from the psychologist, so I'll need to chase that up when I see the psychiatrist next, I'm glad I asked for the last appointment to make sure everything gets sorted. I've also had a meeting with the Community Alternatives Team, which provide activities for mentally ill people. I've signed up for the 'Playhouse Chill' which is a get together every week, a women's support group fortnightly, and swimming fortnightly. I wasn't sure about the swimming but I was a bit pushed into it. I'm going to have to be careful. First of all, I'm going to limit how much I do. Depending on the size, go for say 6 lengths a time and stick to it, otherwise I'll overdo it and relapse. If I start feeling ill I'll stop. The worker said it'd be good for me, I'm not too sure, but there's no pressure I can stop any time. The big worry is that I wont be able to shower afterwards, I'll be far too tired, so I need to be careful I don't have anything planned the next day. (sorry if that's really gross). There's also a pool club I'd be interersted in, but maybe later.

Family. I'm not going to let myself get bullied. Dad's coming next week to set up my new tv (he put most of the money towards it as an xmas/birthday present). I'm going to get the flat cleaned to MY standards, not his, if he doesn't like it then fine. He's said if it's a mess he'll never come round again, but this is only the second time he's been since I moved here 3 1/2 years ago (he helped me move). He's a total neat freak, and I know he'll have a go about something. But it's my house. Just wish that my brain could stop me panicking about it. And I'm not going to treat them with kid gloves about my illnesses either. Instead of telling him about a 'group' I've joined, I've told him that it's for people with mental health problems. Maybe if I say it often enough, he'll realise it's true - I have a mental illness and it's not going to go away.

Mum's drinking heavily again, she's completely losing it. Sister's already cut her off because she can't cope with her, I've got coping mechanisms in place but it's going to be rough. I think all the years of abusing drink are affecting her, she's suddenly got really dumb. I thought it was some kind of act but now I think it's an actual problem. Anyway, there's nothing anyone can do to help her.

Education. I've got a bit behind with this OU course, but I'll be caught up in a few days. I really need to get organised because my next course starts in a few weeks. It's an economics one and looks really hard. I was good at A level economics (I got an A), but there looks to be a lot of maths in this, and I'm rubbish at statistics. Still, I'm looking forward to the challenge!

My holiday to Venice was great. I veered between 'this place is really expensive' before I figured out how to cut costs, to 'this place is way too touristy' to 'wow the Doge's Palace is amazing'. I'll go back sometime, but it's not really a place for a cheap budget break. I've brought back enough glass to open my own shop though! I was surprised how disabled friendly it was, there were chair lifts and ramps on a lot of the bridges, and at the Doge's Palace I wasn't allowed near the stairs, they dragged me off to the lifts.

So Barcelona next month, I've heard it's really expensive, but I'm planning to buy food in the supermarkets and there's only a couple of things I really want to see, so wont have loads to pay for there.

I think that's everything, if I think of anything else I'll call back!

GeorgeUK

Good to 'see' you again Ames. Looks like a positive post there and you have plenty of questions lined up for the medical staff.

boredofbeingathome

Hi Ames, not caught your diary before.

You seem to have some good coping mechanisms- so that is a very positive step.

Re Barcelona, i think it was one of the cheapest places in Europe i have been to As well as being great for shopping, which may impinge on the old bank balance.
There are plenty of student bars and whatnot- be very aware of pick pockets though. Buses are cheap for sight seeing and you can get tickets for a weekend, which will get you to all the major sights.
I found a bus from the airport a good option as well, in fact it is very well geared for going on a budget. Have a look on some of the web sites and get an idea.

boredofbeingathome

Hi Ames, not caught your diary before.

You seem to have some good coping mechanisms- so that is a very positive step.

Re Barcelona, i think it was one of the cheapest places in Europe i have been to As well as being great for shopping, which may impinge on the old bank balance.
There are plenty of student bars and whatnot- be very aware of pick pockets though. Buses are cheap for sight seeing and you can get tickets for a weekend, which will get you to all the major sights.
I found a bus from the airport a good option as well, in fact it is very well geared for going on a budget. Have a look on some of the web sites and get an idea.

Ames

Thanks Bob, I'd been told that a sandwich costs a tenner! Looking at the guide book though it doesn't look too bad, and as I'm there on the first sunday of the month (I think) some of the museums will be free, yay! Accidental good timing.

I might need a bit of support over the next few months. My sister's just told me that her contract hasn't been extended so she's moving back to Leeds while she looks for something. The conversation also included lots of things that I'll be doing for her - helping her move back, learn to drive, etc. So I'll have to learn to say the 'no' word, and make sure that I don't put myself out and cancel things that are important to me. I'm happy to help her, but only when it's convenient to me. I'm determined not to be the mug I was for the year she lived here before, and I'm definitely not lending her any money. I just hope that I can be so strong when she's asking me in person!

Ames

Really sorry but I need to moan, I'm having a really crap day.

Started last night - I waited all day for ex to get in touch so I could type his essay for him. He finally facebooked me at 6, and I picked him up and got home at 8 (after sitting in the car for 20 mins waiting for him to come out). It took 3 and a half hours to do the first part of his essay and as neither of us had eaten I ordered takeaway. An hour and a half later it hadn't turned up so I phoned and got a load of abuse becaues the driver had been knocking on the door for 20 mins and we hadn't answered door or phone. I hadn't realised the phone had switched off, but they had a mobile number too. Ex sorted it out and I finally got to bed about 2.

Woke up this morning to a phonecall about the expert patient programme tomorrow, I'd forgotten all about it. It means I've had to cancel a blood test appointment, need to find the number and cancel a social services appointment, and I have 4 hours less time to do my essay.

Then tesco phoned, my card had been declined. So the £70 shortfall in my account wasn't due to them, it must have just been internet banking being crappy. So in the last month I've ended up taking £160 from my debt fund. The only way I can see to replace it is to not go to Barcelona, which'll cost me about £22 but save me a lot more than that.

And then there's napster... I signed up for a free trial with £5 quidco. The cashback was declined, but I got a cheap album. Except it wont download. And now I've ended up slipping into month 2 and being charged £15. I'll get more downloads, but not much use when it wont actually get onto my computer. I've asked for help on the techie boards and now they're laughing at me.

So I'm utterly fed up. I wasted a day yesterday not doing any OU stuff cos I thought ex would call as soon as I started, we're doing the rest of his essay today, so that leaves me tomorrow afternoon and wednesday to get mine done. I'm having to miss my book club tonight cos I can't afford it, haven't had chance to read the book, and don't have time to go. And sister's told me that I'll have to go bring her back from Skegness sometime next week, but I'll only get a couple of days notice of when. Oh, and dad can't bring me the tv he got me for xmas this weekend as planned, cos of not knowing when we'll have to drop everything to help sister move.

Sorry, just needed to moan and here seemed a good place.

dancingfairy

Oh no - what a nightmare -no wonder you're fed up. Your family and ex do seem to be trying to take advantage - maybe you need to have a word with ex and say you want to help but you need to schedule it in your diary so can you plan an eact time to meet up.
Not sure what you can do with dad and sister though?
It's also a shame your internet banking is messed up - can you work out where the money went? and try and repay for the groceries again?
I have no idea why they are laughing at you on the techie board - they don't sound overly helpful.
Hope things improve soon.
df

Ames

With ex, it's a deal thing - I type his essays, he does heavy lifting and things. It's just annoying that because of the weather and things we've both needed extensions and have ended up with essays due at the same time. We said last night we need to get properly organised, as from next month we're both doing two courses, so we need to stick to deadlines. It doesn't help that we're both the type to leave it till the very last minute!

I think with the internet banking it was just delays. I had £180, spent £60, and it was down to £60 left. So I think that the last thing listed on the transactions hadn't had the money removed from the total yet. So from now on it's back to paper and pen to work out what I've got left, and only use IB for checking things have come out. I moved money from my debt isa to pay for the groceries, that's part of the £160 I need to repay to it. I could just increase my payments to it by £15 a month for the rest of the year but that's a slippery slope.

The techie board are usually helpful, but this time I'm asking something so dumb they find it funny.