Taking control of my life

dancingfairy

I can't believe your sister owes you so much money - and about the tickets for the festival- that's really bad as well -why can't she give you the money back and then if she wants to claim it back then it's up to her.
The festival tickets - can you get your money back from them? that sounds so annoying - hope the rest is good though.
df

Ames

DF, you're right, I didn't realise how much it was till I added it up. I'm really kicking myself - how many times have I said on here 'don't lend to family and friends, at least not unless you can afford to not see it again'. Worst thing, I didn't even realise that's what I was doing! It was just in dribs and drabs.

I've just been to asda and smashed my wing mirror, it's electric so I'll have to claim on the insurance because the excess (£75) is less than the cost of getting it fixed. I've got something else to put a claim in for too, so that's £150 I've got to find. So I've sent sister a much more assertive email, saying I need the money asap, I can wait for some of it till December, but need the £290 by then. And telling her she needs to get the credit card claim in. So we'll have to see what excuses she comes up with now. It's annoying though that there's nothing I can do about it if she just says no, all I can do is tell dad and see if he can get through to her. Although knowing him he'd just give me the money and add it to the thousands she owes him, which I'd feel bad about because it's not up to him to bail her out.

Anyway, rant over - time for a glass (or bottle...) of wine and a (whoopsied) pizza.

GeorgeUK

How are you doing Ames?
Not really been around for a few days so just trying to catch up with things. Hope you're okay.

Ames

Thanks George, I'm ok. How are you? I read your last diary updates, I'm really sorry about the dental problems and everything.

Sent the letter off to Cabot today, recorded, offering them 15%, I can go up to 30% if I have to. The post code on the letter from them was different from the post code royal mail had for that address though, so I've gone with the royal mail one, hope it gets there.

Sold my first book on Green Metropolis, I'm going to see how it goes and maybe list them on Amazon as well. I got the postage wrong though, my own fault for changing how I packaged it. I'll still make a small profit though.

Need to get in touch with sister about the money she owes me, she's got another week of her extended trial at work, so hopefully she can be made permanent and pay me back!

Need to have a financial assessment done for the care. Hopefully I wont have to pay much, if anything. If the rules are the same as they were 5 years ago it'll be nothing, but I imagine they've changed since then. I'd hate to have to give up on it because I can't afford it.

Ames

Well, good day today.

I've been emailed the leaflet about how to work out your contributions to care, and I should only have to pay a minimal amount - the absolute most would be £40 a month, depending on what they allow. It says they give you an allowance for things like clothes and haircuts, and if I'm allowed everything on the list that I pay for then my contribution could be nil. It's a bit like budgeting for creditors!

House is a tip, meant to do my 10mins per hour tidying this afternoon, but fell asleep and then had to go get my prescription (and more fluffy warm socks, and really good tights while they're reduced). Took ex with me so that he could do his shopping, he checked his account in morrisons and hasn't been paid his Jobseekers, again. So instead of getting back the £30 I lent him, I had to lend him another 6. We came back here so he could phone them but all he got was a front line member of staff who couldn't do anything. She's left a message on the manager's desk, who should be ringing him back but I suspect we'll be phoning them again tomorrow. I've told him to put a formal complaint in but he doesn't think it'll do any good.

And on a lighter note, it seems that one of his casual girlfriends (using the term gf very loosely) has decided to trick him into getting her pregnant. She's told him that she's going on the pill, but told mutual friends she wants his baby and thinks he'll marry her if she get's pregnant. She's known him about 2 months, and obviously doesn't know him at all if she thinks that! Daft git is convinced that if she tricks him into it he wont have to pay maintenance. So he's trying to talk to all his friends for advice. I don't think my laughing and cracking jokes was quite what he wanted....

Ames

Just realised that made me sound really mean - he wasn't taking it too seriously either, and was making jokes about it himself. he wanted to talk to another bloke about it so I was just lightening the mood a bit.

Ames

Well, the last few days have been a mixture of good and bad.

Good news - the wing mirror isn't as damaged as I thought, it's just the glass that's cracked, the electrics are working fine. So that's a few quid at a scrapyard for a new one, rather than £75 for an insurance claim.

Bad - all hope has died that I might develop some common sense. The reason I thought the electrics were gone was that they wouldn't move. Then I realised that it was because the engine was off. Because electric windows need power to work. The day before that I'd spent 20 mins trying to print something without connecting the printer. I really am a lost cause!

Good - I'm getting the hang of easy cooking, and now have a freezer full of home made ready meals following a big whoopsie haul last week. I love my slow cooker!

Bad - Cabot have made a counter offer of £350 as f&f - I offered £100. I can go to £180 but that's it. I don't know whether to up my offer, or just say sorry I can't afford it, here's £1 I'll carry on making token payments. Maybe then they'll accept the £100, or after a few months I can try again. I might try offering the £180 first, and say in the letter that it's my maximum and if they don't accept I'll offer it to someone else. After all, they wont know that I don't know who owns my other debts!

Good - Sister has a job. She's been demoted until January, but she's just glad to have a job. I'll wait a few weeks and mention again the money she owes me, she wants to get her cc paid off first, which is fair enough since I'm not charging interest, but I need to be second in the queue.

Bad - My first OU essay for this course is due on Saturday and I'm 2 weeks behind with the work. So I'm going to get on with it now. I'll still be online though cos it's all done on dvd rom, but if I'm seen posting excessively feel free to shout at me!

Ames

Just back from my appointment at the ME clinic.

First, the positive - I'm doing everything they would have suggested, my priorities are spot on, I'm coping excellently with things like my 10minute timer of housework per hour, pacing myself, resting etc. Which is good - the main reason I asked for the referral was because ex and sister were telling me I was doing things all wrong. So it was good to get validation on my methods.

Bad - she says that I have chronic fatigue, but not Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / ME. The mental heath problems complicate things too much for a clear diagnosis.

Of course, I can't get a mental health diagnosis because it's complicated by the ME.

If I wasn't used to all this going round in circles, I'd be dizzy.

So, my medical treatment in the last year can be summed up by:

Mental: one session of very useful CBT, then discharged because he was scared of the ME. Slight change in medication. Manic episode even though I'm apparantly not manic depressive.

Physical: Change in diagnosis, otherwise just carry on the same.

The only real help and change has come from the health trainer with the weight loss, which was a self referral anyway and I only found out about it because of a stall at the fete!

So, I'll see the psychiatrist in December and see where we go from there. She was going to discharge me because I'd be a couple of months into treatment at the ME clinic and wouldn't need her anymore...

GeorgeUK

Good luck with the psychiatrist - are you going back to the ME clinic or did they say anything else about the chronic fatigue or what can be done about it?

Try not to get too smug if your family say you're doing something wrong again.

Ames

She's going to take my case to the board (all new cases have to go before them) but she doesn't think I'll be seen again. Firstly because I don't have CFS/ME, just CF (according to her), secondly because I'm doing all the things to manage my fatigue that they'd be able to suggest.

Smug, me?! It probably wont even come up again. Ex is finally realising that I'm doing it my way and he's not involved any more, and sister's off doing her own thing so doesn't have any input. Dad doesn't believe ME exists, so wouldn't take any notice of what they'd said, and mum, well, I try not to get her involved in my medical stuff too much. A munchausens alcoholic isn't the best confidante!