Taking control of my life

Ames

I know, I just can't seem to be strong and say no. I might try the cowards way and email her...

She did pay for the petrol today, I was gobsmacked!

scaredy_cat

wonders will never cease!! lol.
be strong, tell her - if she doesn't like it, what is she gonna do?

Ames

You're right, there's not much she can do to me from there!

Ames

Wow, what a week!

I started GCSE Italian on thursday, she's really racing us through it. I wondered how they were going to teach it in one year for 2 hours a week, when the language GCSE's I did at school were 5 hours over 2 years, plus knowledge before. Now I know - it's done at breakneck speed! I think it went well though, I enjoyed it and the teacher's cool. Couldnt help laughing though - ex is half Italian and went to enrol on it too. He wants to be able to talk to his dad, and deal with the estate when he has to. They wouldn't let him on because he hasn't learned Italian before!! I explained to them that me and many others in the class were complete beginners, which just confused them.

I took my sister back to Skegness on Sunday, after going to the car boot sale. I've got a horrible feeling that I was caught by a speed camera though, so I have a nerve wracking couple of weeks. Although looking online it seems the fine is a lot lower than I thought. But I might not have done - I thought I saw a flash, but apparantly the type itw as doesnt flash and all the others did too, so it could have just been a reflection. And the speed I was doing was borderline for being cautioned anyway. So I'll just have to wait.

I thought I did well at the car boot sale, got loads of books, cds and a dvd for less than a tenner. But when I looked through it I realised I managed to buy the same book twice! I'm wanting to get all the Kathy Reichs Bones books so just snap them up whenever I see them cheap, and managed to get two of one of them. So if anyone wants 'Grave Secrets' let me know and I'll post it to you.

I'm still impressed that I took sister all that way and didn't have to pay for petrol at all! We even had a nice lunch on the way there on Sunday, paid for on dad's credit card.

Last night it was my book club, I haven't been for ages but I'm raring to go with it again. We've agreed to relaunch it - there's only three of us left now. So any ideas of how to do that would be great. I'm going to get some free business cards printed up and leave little piles of them in likely places - libraries, the pub we meet in etc. And posters on community boards in supermarkets, Starbucks and places like that. And of course all the usual online places, book club directories on publishers sites etc. Any more tips would be great, as long as they're either free or very cheap!

I've left the best news till last. I had my social services reassessment on Friday. He'd copied and pasted all the points in my complaint into the relevant places, and at the end asked me where I'd like to be in 3 months and how they can help me get there. So we've agreed on five hours a week - 2 for showering, and three at the beginning of the week for laundry, chopping veg and getting me organised so I know what appointments etc I've got. I'm not getting my hopes up too much though, it's still got to go to the panel who control the budget, but at least I'm a lot further along than I was.

GeorgeUK

Looks like things went well there Ames - was it what you were hoping for?
Any comments made about the previous assessment?

Ames

Nope, nothing said at all about the previous assessment! I saw my health trainer today and she's going ahead with her complaint, it's really not on that they can treat people like that. It's exactly what I was hoping for, it's just going to take a while to get in place.

I got more good news today - my electricity supplier has done an actual reading, and I'm £90 in credit. They've reduced my payments from £41 to £33, which is great news. I'm going to leave the money where it is, and if I have got a speeding ticket then I can get it then. A bit of an 'emergency' fund! And if it's there I don't have to worry about prices going up.

I've spent a fortune in the last couple of days though, most of it was in the budget, but I spent £13 on a top in the Debenhams sale. I've also seen some nice shoes and boots reduced to £15 each, I'm going to wait and see for a few days though. My account's looking a bit anaemic for the day after DLA payday, but that's because I've put £235 into the various ISA/second accounts for debt f&f's and yearly expenses. I'm trying to pretend they don't exist though so I don't raid them.

I'm still trying to decide what to do about my new sofa. It's uncomfortable as hell, but I expected that for just £200. What really annoys me is that it's 10cm shorter than it's supposed to be. I deliberately only looked at ones 180cm or longer so that I'd be able to lay down on them, this was listed as 180 but is actually 170. So my options are put up with it and save for a better one (I'm going to start a 'virtual' change pot), or try and get a refund. Then I can get a second hand one and use the rest of the refund for the basis of saving for a better one. I just feel that because I got a grant it's a bit cheeky to buy a second hand one for less money.

I had a look in WH Smith today for big whiteboards, I want one that I can use to plan my week. They had a super dooper magnetic one that was already divided into days and times, and it was cheaper than a plain one! I couldn't face carrying it back to the car though so I'll get it when I go in tomorrow, since it's weigh day. I'm fully expecting to have put about half a stone back on, but now things are getting sorted I can go back to the dieting and being sensible with food.

Ames

Well, lately I've been tempting fate. Dad got dumped a few days ago. I'm not going to go into details, because it's his private life. I went over for a few days to make sure he was ok. I even tried to make him a roast dinner.... it was inedible though, so probably not the best for someone with no appetite!

I didn't buy the boots or shoes, they didn't have any of the boots left when I went back, and I didn't like the shoes as much second time round, so my policy of 'always wait and see' paid off again.

Wonder of wonders though, I have an appointment with the ME clinic! So the repeat blood tests must be my GP's idea, looks like I'll have to get back in touch with the immunologists. It's a bit chicken and egg though - was the cell count raised because of all the colds I've had, or have I had so many colds because my immune system's got worse. I'm not bothered about it though, it's been gradualluy getting worse for years now, and I'm almost looking forward to it getting to the point of needing treatment - my overall health might actually improve.

I've decided to stop listening to my ex and sister about money. Both keep telling me that I need to budget better (yes, really). It's because I have 'nothing' left at the end of the month. But so what? I'm paying my bills, putting away money for debts and yearly expenses, even building up a small emergency fund. Surely it doesn't matter what I do with the rest of it? Especially when I'm buying bits to make the flat a home not just somewhere to store junk.

My new OU stuff came through the other day. I'm determined to do it properly this year, not leave it till the last minute, go to tutorials, the lot. I'm going to schedule in proper study times and everything. So, the plans are good and hopefully I'll stick to them.

Got to go see the psychiatrist tomorrow, don't know if the psychologist will be there too. I hope it doesn't get too awkward. I just want everything to get sorted out and back on treatment.

GeorgeUK

Hi Ames, wondered where you had been.

Sorry to hear about your dad - hope he bounces back okay. Did he have a giggle about the dinner or was it just a bit awkward?

I think you're quite right to ignore the money advice from those two. Not exactly good role models are they? Propably just saying it as that's what they keep hearing. Is it by any chance something to do with you telling them you won't be paying for their trips and spending money on them?

As long as you have a little set aside for emergencies, this should build into a nice cushion if anything does happen. As for spending too much - as you say you are paying all your bills and have a little set aside. If you had been asking for help paying for things then they may have a point, but you haven't so they don't. Good on you for sticking to your guns - you don't need their permission.

Ames

He was really nice about the dinner, he said that it proved I could cook! I let it go that it's not that I don't know how to cook, it's that my hands and wrists don't let me cook often. I'm still in pain from peeling the potatoes after two days! It was worth it though to be helpful.

I'm saving in the credit union for emergencies - it's only £5 a month, but it's all adding up. There's a few things I need for the flat, so I'm going to put a bit aside every fortnight (when I get money), it wont take long because I'll get them from ikea/ebay where possible.

You're right, their 'budgeting' advice does come at a time when I've cut off their funds! It's strange that when I did my SOA no-one had a problem with my spending, just what they were costing me! And far from asking for help to buy things, they owe me money! So I don't think I've anything to worry about. Well, maybe my dodgy taste in home furnishings, but I'm happy with them, and no-one visits to suffer them anyway!

dancingfairy

Sounds like things are going well for you. I agree about the finances thing - as long as you are happy and on top of things then that's what matters. Sounds like you have everything organised.
df