MF by the time I'm 50?

ally18

Hi,
Can I just add my twopennyworth, ive spent all afternoon at work today reading through your post and everyones replies and I just want to say how inspired youve made me feel and also to be honest, I feel a bit ashamed of myself as well. When I think of the money I waste on little things. I would love to try and pay off my mortgage, its the one thing that scares me at the mo, it looks like I will be 70 before my mortgage ends! Im a single mum and the responsibility does weigh you down alot but hey...got to carry on.
Well done for sticking with your goals, hope you finally get there.

ILoveSaving

Hi ally18,

The main thing is that you've now realised you make those unnecessary purchases! Thats the starting point. So if from now on you start saving a couple of pound here and there whenever you prevent yourself from wasting it, then make some regular payments towards your mortgage or other debts that may need clearing first, you too might reduce the term of your mortgage so you can own that house of yours a lot sooner.

Its always good to have a goal. Give it a shot yourself even if you only reduce your mortgage by a year, its something.

Kittikins

I need to vent.

I'm feeling really angy with my ex. He's turned up tonight (prearranged but as usual until he turned up I wasn't totally sure he would turn up remotely on time) after not seeing DD for 8 weeks, serves her dinner out of a tupperware dish (the dish that the food was in for reheating purposes, the lazy slug couldn't even be ar*ed to get a bowl out of the cupboard!) and tries to take back an electronic present he gave her which was a cast off from him as it wasn't 100% perfect - he had unplugged it and put it in a carrier bag as apparently she had said she never uses it......immaterial and incorrect, I have recorded TV programmes and films on it for her - and who the flip gives someone a present then takes it back!?!! How dare he!!GRRRRRRRRRRRR.

He also didn't apologise for not bothering to make any contact with us for 8 weeks and apparently work/life is complicated at the moment so he has no idea when he will next be seeing her. He's moved away from the area to live with his partner - we had no idea he was dating, so I'm feeling a bit strange by that, not that I would ever get close to him again, I'd rather let the human race die out!

I'm angry that yet again DD will be the one to lose out, as some of his absences now have an obvious reason behind them. I wish he'd just f... off out of our lives properly rather than swanning in and out when he feels like it. Thankfully DD never asks to see him and until the moment he turned up today, she was adamant that she didn't want him to come over, so that's good, at least at the moment he's not hurting her too much..

However, I know that it does affect her, as whilst he said that she was fast asleep, within 5 minutes of him leaving, she came downstairs to see me and give me a cuddle and is now asleep in my bed (as happens 99.99% of the time after he visits her). Lucky me

So, I'm getting a bit sozzled on the sofa with some vodka and coke. Due to my diet (oops!), it's not taking much to make me feel a bit tipsy, lol. I know I'll wish I hadn't done it in the morning but at the moment it's numbing the irritation.

Anyway, probably none of this makes much sense and I might end up deleting it later........*sigh*

chirpchirp

Kittikins, I feel for you. I know it's not politically correct but there is part of me that thinks the children would sometimes be better off not seeing their Dads. Exes (? spelling) are a real hassle aren't they?

Kittikins

Exes certainly are a hassle! I'd far rather us be completely on our own than having him in and out of our lives. I want stability for her, which I provide in abundance, but when she gets all clingy with me after seeing him, I know that he does unsettle her but she can't yet articulate it. Oh well. He only saw his other 2 kids about 10 times in the 10 years we were together, so I assume that being in love again will mean that he'll virtually disappear......

The voddie's going down well *hic* Could do with a drinking buddie but reckon when the forum goes down, I'll be hitting the hay and getting cuddles from DD

Louba

Hope the head's ok this morning
Sounds like he's being a real sh**. When my ex winds me up I try to remember that that's why he's my ex and he can only hurt me or annoy me if i let him :rolleyes:. Still doesn't always work though and it must be much more difficult when it's hurting your DD too. Hope you're feeling better this morning.

We spoke to a financial adviser last night who thinks we'll need about £60k for a deposit :eek: Given that we aren't selling anything this feels like a huge task so feeling a bit deflated this morning. Just trying to break it down into wee chunks and picure the lovely home we'll have .......and trying not to worry about all the what if it doesn't work out scenarios. I don't honestly think that's going to happen but that's what having an ex does to you :rolleyes:.

Hope today is better

Lx

SmlSave

((hugs)) Kittikins

Kittikins

Thanks guys, feeling pretty lousy today to be honest! Both physically and emotionally...*sigh* Anyway, not going to let my stupid ex get to me too much today, had a good blert out with a chum this morning over a cup of tea, and she thinks he's an idiot too - always good to get confirmation, lol.

What does really irritate me is that one of the reasons I didn't move away over the last 4 years was so that DD would stay reasonably close to her dad, now he's upped and moved with no thought of how it might affect his ability to see her! So....I could have moved somewhere smaller, cheaper in a different part of the country and not be pulling my hair out about finding money. GRrrrr.

Anyway, I do really like my house, the village is lovely and we have good friends so no plans to move - just to hurry up and pay more off the flipping mortgage!!

ILoveSaving

Good for you Kittikins!

I hear so many tales from my colleagues at work about their exes, I just hope I never have to have one. They all sound like jerks.

Well cheer up, if hes moved you won't probably see as much of him.

Kittikins

Tee that's true, there is a silver lining!

We went for a nice swim with our lovely neighbours this afternoon which sorted out the hangover and then I popped into DD's old nursery to query why I still haven't received a refund on deposit and other money...am waiting for £138 which I want to go into my savings pot for the holidays! They said they'll ask for them to be sent to me next week......I don't actually believe a word of it, but would like to be surprised!!