So cross with OH

Kevicho

snoozer wrote:

Do others think he's gone over the top or am I being mean?

Not at all, i think its way over the top especially considering the rest of the post

snoozer wrote:

I feel that all my weeks of scrimping and saving have been just thrown away he doesn't seem to care about staying out of debt (just 2 weeks ago he bought himself an extra birthday gift - a £200 MP3 player a couple of days after my birthday when I'd told him I didn't want a present and he got me a box of chocolates). He thinks my obsession with this site is a bit of a joke! I just can't bear the thought of running up another debt when we've just about cleared the lot.

Ill not repeat what i thought when i read that bit!

Keep up the good work, get him to read this site and stop being a wally

jimmmyc

Thanks guys and gals, glad you see the funny side too! I pay the cards off then cancel the cards and that is helping a bit. HQ I like your suggestion, but I'm not sure I could take the row after yet.
I have thrown out every catalogue, I can get my hands on but the next one turned up last week while I was out and within half an hour £400.00 had been ordered-some is definatley going back as it doesn't fit, phew!

Now shoes how may pairs do you need.......

Kevicho

jimmmyc wrote:

Thanks guys and gals, glad you see the funny side too! I pay the cards off then cancel the cards and that is helping a bit. HQ I like your suggestion, but I'm not sure I could take the row after yet.
I have thrown out every catalogue, I can get my hands on but the next one turned up last week while I was out and within half an hour £400.00 had been ordered-some is definatley going back as it doesn't fit, phew!

Now shoes how may pairs do you need.......

Is this spending all in your OH's name?

If so i wouldnt pay for any of it, this reminds me of wayne rooney and his girlfriends, whos only talent seems to be spending his money

Stop being a mug man!

black-saturn

I think if it was me and it was a one off spend of £200 for an MP3 player I probably would have let it go - everyone needs a treat now and again. But spending £82 for a wedding gift for a couple you hardly know is a bit much. I don't even spend that on my own family Perhaps you could suggest to him that he has a sort through his belongings and donates some clothes, cds or dvds etc that he no longer wants to sell on ebay and cover some of the costs?

Debt_Free_Chick

snoozer wrote:

No, he's just really generous - if I'd asked for an extravagant birthday present he'd have given it to me without a second thought.But that's just it - there is no second thought.

Snoozer

He has got himself to a "comfortable" position with his spending. He's essentially living a champagne lifestyle on beer money :rotfl: This is how most of us get into debt and, if we don't change our lifestyle, how we stay in debt. Debt is simply this .... spending more than you earn - or having a lifestyle that's better than your income.

Now ... he hasn't cottoned on to this yet. He probably sees you as just a scrimping scrooge out to spoil his fun and make him feel "poor"

Until he "sees the light" I fear you'll see more of this from him.

Do you share the finances with him? Have you showed him how much you have coming in, how much is going out and what it's being spent on? If not, then keep a spending diary for a month (or more) and then show him. I can't promise it will change him, but if you do this for a few months he hopefully see that you (he!) cannot go on spending money he doesn't have!

Chin up. You have to be the strong one in this situation, as you have seen the peril of continuing as you are. I think it was Ghandi who said ... "Be the change you want to see". In other words, live the dream

Gorgeous_George

I'm always in bother for being over generous. Whether it's wedding gifts, birthdays, Christmas or just buying drinks at the pub. In the end, I enjoy giving and it's there to be spent. I do save as well but there is a balance.

Whether £82 is worth getting upset about is down to you. The evening do could well cost the bride n groom £25 per head including entertainment, champagne and food. So you're down to £57 out of pocket. If you went, that'd be only £32.

Not something to die in a ditch over.

My MP3 player came on my 'free' contract mobile and the large mmc card frrom eBay. His £200 was OTT.



GG

raven_3

Oh dear, I can so relate to this post! Especially the comment about 'there IS no second thought' - that's the problem with my OH I think. He's in 20k of debt but I have a hard time getting him to 'lightbulb'...although I know he wants to buy a house with me in a few years and get out of debt, unless I take his cards away he can't help but overspend.

It must be something to do with impressing people. You're right - champagne lifestyle, beer budget. Well, that's what it WAS. Now it's more trying to get a normal beer budget lifestyle when realistically he can't even afford that. It's infuriating, so I feel your pain.
And I'd be so angry about the birthday thing!! Good luck to you.

ms_london

Gorgeous_George wrote:

The evening do could well cost the bride n groom £25 per head including entertainment, champagne and food. So you're down to £57 out of pocket. If you went, that'd be only £32.

I dont think what it costs the bride and groom to have the wedding comes into it to be honest. You should be invited because they want you there, not because of the gifts they are hoping to get, hoping to "recoup" some of the wedding costs!!

xx

halloweenqueen_2

I hope I don't get invited to any weddings this year - i can't afford to be a guest!

snoozer

OH has just rung and I've told him he's got his own thread on here. :rotfl: He took it in good part if rather sheepishly admitting that he should have talked to me first about buying things.

Will be sitting down tonight to talk about priorities - such as the new boiler we need which could have been half paid for by now. :wall: