So cross with OH

snoozer

Just went nline to check bank accounts and noticed a mystery payment of £82.00

Rang OH and it turns out that he has spent it on an online wedding gift.

This is the wedding of the daughter of neighbours, who we occasionally socialise with, not great friends. They invited us to the evening do and OH will be going but I am away. Do others think he's gone over the top or am I being mean?

I feel that all my weeks of scrimping and saving have been just thrown away he doesn't seem to care about staying out of debt (just 2 weeks ago he bought himself an extra birthday gift - a £200 MP3 player a couple of days after my birthday when I'd told him I didn't want a present and he got me a box of chocolates). He thinks my obsession with this site is a bit of a joke! I just can't bear the thought of running up another debt when we've just about cleared the lot.

needmoney

snoozer wrote:

(just 2 weeks ago he bought himself an extra birthday gift - a £200 MP3 player a couple of days after my birthday when I'd told him I didn't want a present and he got me a box of chocolates). UOTE]

I'm speechless but I think I'd have hit him and yes he went over the top.

lynzpower

I really dont know what to suggest here really, but sending a massive hug.

x

ms_london

Is it too late to return the Wedding Gift.

I am shocked by him buying the MP3 player too when he could have bought you something!! Have you been together long? MEN!!

((hugs))

I suppose in that sense I am lucky because I am single. The debt was mine, so it was up to me to repay the debt & I didnt have anyone scarpering my chances of becoming debt free!!

I think you might have to have big words with your OH!!

xx

snoozer

We've been married 27 years in August :eek: . In all that time we've only been out of debt for a couple of years in total.

We can't do anything about the gift because he did it online and the happy couple have probably already been told about it. I don't even know what he bought them I was too upset to ask!

The thing is I was quite happy with the chocs - I really didn't want him going out and spending lots of money just because he thought he ought to.

Emmzi

I wonder if it's time for seperate bank accounts... at least that way you've a hope of hanging on to what you've saved...

Poor thing!

(((((((((((hughs))))))))))))

frasernicola

I know how you feel, the harder I try to save the more my oh likes to spend it. Very frustrating, and makes you feel like your effort is unimportant. Its hard to get through to my OH just how much trouble we are in and that all the little savings mount up.

Kantankrus_Mare

Yes you have my sympathies as well.

Since finding this site Ive become very money conscious and although we arent in debt.....we are permanently skint and hubbys solution would be to stick it all on a credit card!!!

Its soooooo hard to get through to him that if we keep out of debt....in the long run we will be better off.

The arguments we have had about money are unbelievable so I can fully sympathise and YES he was out of order spending so much on a wedding gift.

Dont know what the solution is and my hubby has even got my lad saying im obsessed with money or saving it.

Well excuse me for trying to keep our heads above water!!

In one breath my hubby comes home from work telling me about all the debt his work mates are in and being smug as we dont have any..........the next hes spending or wanting to spend like theres no tomorrow!!

Grrrrrrrr Men eh?? :mad:

amosworks

Absolutely, get a joint bank account for mortgage and household bills, then both of you get your own separate accounts - yours so you can save what you want and his so he can p!ss away what little he wants without flushing your dreams down the pan too!

Sending positive vibes to you through the ether: hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

elisebutt65

heh heh heh - know where you;'re coming from on the koint bank ac's

My bf and I think we're in it for the longhaul after 3 years so far.

I've been married 3 times and so we've sort of agreed we don't want to do that again - lol

Anyway - he's the total opposite of me - he's so careful - uses Money etc and knows where every penny goes. I tend to just spend, spen, spend - or rather - I used to. Now I pay bills, save and then spend.

I was explaining about joint accounts as we plan to eventually live to gether when kids have all left home - his youngest is 12 and mine is 5 so quite a long way into the future. He couldn't understand why we would need to have separate accounts then - well d'uh - cos I ain't going to explain what I've bought and why, and I wouldn't expect you to either???

You really need to have 3 accounts between the 2 of you. 1 each and a household one for the important stuff. And I'd also have a hidden savings account just for fun stuff!

snoozer

Thanks for all the support. Funnily enough we've both just opened A & L accounts to get the £50 opening and the 10% savings account. :j. Might start seperating the finances a bit more than they are.