£40 for a night I don't want

thatgirlsam

frugallass wrote: »

I'm just glad you're not my friend

huhh???? because i would help you out??

that makes no sense ...

no need to be nasty

jenhug

I hosted a party once. People said yes they were coming but they didn't show up, I had prepared snacks an bought drinks for people and they never showed up, I had my mum, her friend, one neighbour and one other person arrive, I didn't get enough commission to buy anything and the poor consultant had a wasted night too.
If someone doesn't want to go they should be honest, and a best friend should understand better than anyone why you can't, or don't want to go,

frugallass

thatgirlsam wrote: »

huhh???? because i would help you out??

that makes no sense ...

no need to be nasty

you don't get it do you - you wouldn't be 'helping me out' ......it's a party - a pathetic little party and if my friend fell out with me for not going then they're not really the friend I thought they were

it's got stuff all to do with friendship or support or anything - my point was that it was a party at the end of the day - nothing major !

!!!!!! - nasty ? how on earth was I nasty - because I didn't agree with you ?

dry your eyes princess !

jellyhead

I wouldn't want to go either, but I'm rubbish at getting out of things, I can't lie and I'm easy to talk into things

We had a series of body shop parties last year because my sister was friends with the consultant and she was struggling, just setting up and we all knew she was skint. I didn't have a sitter for the first one, and everyone my sis could think of to propose as babysitter was already going to her party, and she knew I wouldn't leave him with a stranger. The 'host' is expected to persuade 2 friends to host a party though, or she doesn't get her hostess gift, so I was soon invited to those 2 parties the friends were hosting, and the ones that stemmed from those 2, and then of course there's a the pressure to host a party of your own.

The first 2 parties were really good fun actually, but then it got boring because I'd seen the spiel and didn't want to buy anything, but the host has to get sales of a certain amount before she gets her free stuff so after the orders have been totted up she tries to persuade others to buy things to make her total up to the required level ... 'you buy this, and then out of my free allowance I'll buy you something else ... ' and it got difficult to stand my ground and say no, I couldn't buy anything.

Do you think you'll know everyone there, and will be invited to their parties too? If not, it might be a fun one-off but if your son is going away then I could think of better things to spend your money on - without the expense of a babysitter you could have a really good night out with your OH

Flashdaisy

I too would say to your friend that you feel you can't afford to go, or you could always say you have something else planned that evening instead.

I do know though that some friends just don't take no for an answer, and that's where it becomes tricky to get out of things; if I say no to one particular friend about, say, a night out, she will try and overcome any obstacle I put in the way to try and persuade me to do what she wants me to. If your friend is like this then you might need to be firm and stand your ground, but at the end of the day if she is a true friend she won't fall out with you over something so minor.

jellyhead

I'm quite pathetic when it comes to standing my ground - I sometimes use my husband as an excuse lol! friends who will try anything to persuade you to do something have to give up if it's your OH that's the obstacle.

If your OH wants to do something with you and your son on that particular night then she can't argue, unless she would argue with your OH?

valos_mummy

If it's someone who you think might keeping "overcoming obstacles" so you can go, I'd just lie and say I was ill. If they're fine, then just be honest. You can't really afford it, and you'd really like to spend some time with your son. That should be enough. (and then if she's still badgering you up to the day, say you're ill then!!)

I can see maybe she'd get a bit stressed if no-one was coming; I know I wouldn't like to host one of these things and have 2 people show up, or worse still, none; I'd look like a right billy no-mates. I went to an ann summers party for a mate once, she had a few people there, and being skint, I coughed up a fiver for some chocs to help out but that was it. I went mainly because I knew I'd have a good night in with some pals and a giggle.

And frugallass, saying you're glad someone isn't your friend really isn't a particularly nice thing to say, even with a smiley. If you disagree with someone, there are better ways to put it. But I do agree that yes, it is just a party. Not pathetic mind, some people love these type of evenings, but it's just a minor thing that if someone is your friend, they shouldn't fall out with you over.

frugallass

valos_mummy wrote: »

And frugallass, saying you're glad someone isn't your friend really isn't a particularly nice thing to say, even with a smiley. If you disagree with someone, there are better ways to put it. But I do agree that yes, it is just a party.

I meant what I said - I'm glad I don't have friends like her who expect me to go to their parties because they did me a favour six months ago.

So tell me, how should I have put that I was glad she wasn't my friend?

Craftyscholar

jellyhead wrote: »

We had a series of body shop parties last year because my sister was friends with the consultant and she was struggling, just setting up and we all knew she was skint. The 'host' is expected to persuade 2 friends to host a party though, or she doesn't get her hostess gift, so I was soon invited to those 2 parties the friends were hosting, and the ones that stemmed from those 2, and then of course there's the pressure to host a party of your own.

The first 2 parties were really good fun actually, but then it got boring because I'd seen the spiel and didn't want to buy anything, but the host has to get sales of a certain amount before she gets her free stuff so after the orders have been totted up she tries to persuade others to buy things to make her total up to the required level ... 'you buy this, and then out of my free allowance I'll buy you something else ... ' and it got difficult to stand my ground and say no, I couldn't buy anything.

Yes, that's the point. Whatever you call it, it isn't a 'party'. It's a marketing ploy.

Your friend welcomes you into her home.
She provides refreshments and a welcoming atmosphere.
She also gives you the opportunity to see all these wonderful products in a relaxed setting.

How could you possibly be so ungrateful as to keep your purse closed.:rolleyes:

thatgirlsam

frugallass wrote: »

you don't get it do you - you wouldn't be 'helping me out' ......it's a party - a pathetic little party and if my friend fell out with me for not going then they're not really the friend I thought they were

it's got stuff all to do with friendship or support or anything - my point was that it was a party at the end of the day - nothing major !

!!!!!! - nasty ? how on earth was I nasty - because I didn't agree with you ?

dry your eyes princess !

wow - im kinda glad you would not be my friend!

i think you need a chill pill :rotfl: