£40 for a night I don't want

Jet

One of my best friends is hosting a partylite party.

I usually avoid anything like that like the plague. Normally it's because I don't like being invited to someone's house when they barely know me just so they can make some money from me. And I'm not really a woman who browses in shops or impulse buys. I only buy what I need, mainly because my finances aren't that flush.

Anyway, she seems to think I will be coming along and has offered her teenage daughter (my regular babysitter) to babysit for me. I normally pay her £15 - £20 for an evening of babysitting. I assume my friend isn't going to pay her daughter for me.

I have heard that it will be easy to spend £20 at this party on candles and to be honest, am not really that interested. I have enough candles. Whilst the natter might be OK, I won't know most people there and would rather spend the evening with my son who is with his Dad for most of this week and is away at camp next week.

So, why do I feel guilty about saying I don't want to go?

frugallass

honesty is always the best policy - my friend told me up-front that she hated the home parties and wouldn't be coming - I wasn't upset or offended, just pleased that she was honest

I did have a girly night in at a later date tho (without anything being sold) and she was first through the door

People just have to accept that it's not everyone's cup of tea

Stephb1986_2

Tell her that you have already planned a night with your son because he's going to be away next week. I also try to avoid parties like this because I will just buy stuff I don't need.

Don't feel guilty about it would she come to a party you hosted?

Good luck

Steph xx

Any

From your post I don't see that you gave any indication that you will be coming at all.
I have no idea why are you still keeping your mouth shut - if you lead her on for much longer then it WILL be embarassing to get out of it.

Just say you are not interested, cannot afford it and have no interest in candles and be done with it.

She has no comeback at you.

Good luck

Jet

She has just assumed I am coming and I haven't said anything - yet.

She would definetely come to a party if I hosted it, so I can't use that one.

Yes, I'm just going to tell her it's not my thing. Think she will try and tell me I don't have to buy anything, but that won't solve the babysitting problem. She might suggest that my BF (we don't live together) have my son, but I'd rather save any sort of babysitter for a night I really want.

melancholly

if she's a good friend, she'll be fine; if she gets upset then it's her problem! not many people have cash to burn at the moment so she should completely understand.

but do tell her asap - i agree that the longer you leave it, the worse it will get!

zippychick

yeah just speak to your friend. Make sure she knows how thoughtful you think it was for her to arrange a babysitter, but you would prefer to spend time with your son. I would also throw onto the end that it saves you spending money you don't have, and can she come to yours for drinks next Thusday or what ever?! That way you have two good reasons not to go, and she knows yous can hang out the following week. Im sure she will be fine with it.

jess1974

I sympathize with you on this one, i get asked to these things all the time, Body shop, phoenix cards, jewellery parties, ann summers etc..

It really annoys me i have no interest in the products and if i did, i would buy them myself on the high street(usually cheaper) aswell..

I am afraid i am a coward and i really struggle to say no to anybody so i usually pretend one of the children are poorly..

Ooh one year i said my cat had been run over (sort of true), but the distress caused me to miss that evenings jewellery party...

thatgirlsam

i think you should go

maybe she wants to bump up the numbers at her party , she has said you don't have to buy anything , and that she would come if it was you having the party

fair play on the babysitting but maybe she is sending her daughter for free so that you will go?

sometimes it is good to support our mates - you never know when you will need them!!

Becles

I would tell the truth and say you're not interested in the goods and can't afford it.

I know how you feel. People kept inviting me to parties but I'm just not interested in the stuff being sold, and you always feel obliged to buy something. After going to a Partylite party and buying some overpriced votives that I didn't really want, and a Virgin Vie party where I bought a foundation that I've never used as I only use face powder, I decided it was far better and money saving to be honest and say I wasn't interested in what was being sold.

Cardamom

I find that at these sort of parties you feel pressurised in to buying something. Usually it's a friend hosting so you feel you have to buy something to support them through the night. You can't do something to keep your friend happy if you aren't comfortable with it, or can't afford to right now.

That £40 could go towards something nice for you and/or your child. If she's a good friend she'll understand the position you're in and you're reasons for not wanting to attend.