FUTURE PLANNING - ie FUNERALS

ceridwen

margaretclare wrote: »

Are you saying your parents have ONLY the house - no savings, nothing else? Are you sure?

I'm not sure what you mean by 'all the trimmings'. Flowers are not essential, nor buttonholes - I've never heard of buttonholes at any type of a funeral!

An Anglican service can be as simple as you like. Talk to a local vicar and have your mind set at rest.

'It would be expected that things would be done properly'....well, what's 'properly'? Black is not necessarily worn nowadays.

I just googled 'anglican funerals' and came up with this: http://www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/funerals

Thanks - I'll look up that link. I seem to recall there are flowers in the church normally - so that would be expected and transport for people probably. "Black not necessarily worn" - my mother would be most upset at the thought of me not doing so - but that at least wouldnt be a problem - I have plenty of black clothes...I am working from the basis that this is a very formal/conventional family (apart from me!). Just think "oldfashioned" and that about sums it up.

I think there would presumably still be some savings - and have wondered whether when I ring their solicitor to inform them they would then call me in straight away and say "Heres a cheque immediately - that will comfortably cover all expenses - and just put any left over back into the estate" - so I could just think "right - okay - bank that then and pay for everything from that - problem dealt with". I dont know if this is how things usually work - or whether my parents would have had to specify this in the Will and that money could be available right away. I assumed any actual money would be tied-in with everything else - and I would have to wait for probate (whatever that is) and that would take ages...

EDIT: Just gone into that link for a very quick glance and spotted instantly that there doesnt have to be "music/hymns and a packed church"....that thought wouldnt even have crossed my mind - as in my family.....errr..yes there does....

EdInvestor

When someone dies, their bank account is frozen, pending probate. Except for one thing: banks are allowed to release money immediately (against an invoice) to pay for funeral costs.

So just make sure your parents have £2-3k in the bank and you should be fine.

ceridwen

EdInvestor wrote: »

When someone dies, their bank account is frozen, pending probate. Except for one thing: banks are allowed to release money immediately (against an invoice) to pay for funeral costs.

So just make sure your parents have £2-3k in the bank and you should be fine.

Ahhh....thanks for that thought....now its just a matter of keeping my fingers crossed that they've got at least some of any savings they have there in the bank then. That will help a lot if so.

Not quite sure how I'd go about providing an invoice for the food/alcohol - would they accept Tesco/Sainsburys receipt as being an invoice?

dzug1

ceridwen wrote: »

I have been named as the executor - I wasnt asked whether I would or no - just told I am.

You are not obliged to take up the appointment

margaretclare

If you want to be 'traditional' then wearing black is still OK, but increasingly, the funeral is being seen as a celebration of the deceased person's life and hence, people often say 'no black'. I went to a funeral back in the winter, a friend's dad, and a lot of people wore black. I didn't, because I have nothing in black! Even for the funeral of my first husband I wore a grey suit, and there were only very simple flowers. People increasingly say 'no flowers' or 'family flowers only' and donations to a favourite charity. On the other hand we went to a funeral last spring and we were asked 'where was our wreath?' We explained that we don't 'do' wreaths, we'd rather give a donation to charity.

If you're going to have hymns then maybe you should find out from your parents which hymns they prefer.

My eldest GD baby-sat recently while her friend went to friend's gran's funeral. That was all black ties (which no one knew how to tie except my GD) and followed by a wake which went on until 8pm - funeral ended at 2 pm.

What costs most, I've found, are: limousines, newspaper announcements, flowers. For my first husband's funeral we had no limousines - I drove our car and everyone else got there in their own cars. Because he was a Catholic he was received into church the night before and then Requiem Mass on the day of the actual funeral.

I have left clear instructions for my and DH's funerals. We want a 'green' burial in a wildflower meadow, local family firm of undertakers, no wreaths, no limousines, no wake, no newspaper announcements and no black. Church service in the Methodist Church where we were married and where we've been members for the past 12 years. Refreshments in the church hall, but that's not a wake because no alcohol. Tea or coffee and a few sandwiches.

mary-op

I have left clear instructions for my and DH's funerals. We want a 'green' burial in a wildflower meadow, local family firm of undertakers, no wreaths, no limousines, no wake, no newspaper announcements and no black.

Thats what me and OH are in the process of sorting out, not just for the environmental issue but also hopefully the cost though I popped in to see the local funeral director today just for some more info and on their price list the wicker baskets were more money than I'd been quoted from another place so not sure whether the Co-op (our most local undertaker-oh OH has just told me there is another in town) would allow us to get out own or not. I'm getting an appointment with them when I come back from holiday and see how it works.

I know when Mum died life was made much easier as she'd taken out a funeral plan, picked what hymns she wanted etc. so we didn't have anything to think about in that area apart from the catering and as me and my brother live miles away it was easier to let the undertakers take care of it. But I have to say, for what we paid we didn't get a lot.

Looking at the price list from the Co-op they do funeral bonds and also a Contract Funeral Package which is ''restricted to basic coffin and fittings, no choice of day or time of funeral, hearse only to meet at crematorium or cemetary, viewing of diseased '' Price is £945
Disbursement items restricted to crematory/cemetary fees, doctor and clergy fees.
Not too clear about what the disbursment part means.Still gives a rough idea I hope. These bonds can be paid for over a period of 12 months or longer (though if longer there is a small charge) and everything stays at todays prices -quoting what it says on the leaflet I got.

Additional car is £120 .........does soon mount up.

As for the 'wake' part of things ceridwen........for my Dads funeral family only came back to Mums house for sanwiches, quiche, sausage rolls, tea/coffee etc. Any alcohol people brought themselves and the whole thing didn't cost a lot due to limited numbers of people.
Hope that helps.

dzug1

ceridwen wrote: »

Ahhh....thanks for that thought....now its just a matter of keeping my fingers crossed that they've got at least some of any savings they have there in the bank then. That will help a lot if so.

Not quite sure how I'd go about providing an invoice for the food/alcohol - would they accept Tesco/Sainsburys receipt as being an invoice?

Sorry, who are 'they'? If it's the banks, I don't think so. I doubt if they would release money for that type of expense at all.

If it's HMRC for the estate return then they are likely to accept your statement of how much you've spent at face value. Only very exceptionally would they ask for receipts.

Newly_retired

You may be surprised and find that your parents do have enough savings or an insurance or funeral plan. Older people are often very thrifty and make sure they have put aside enough for the funeral.
I was surprised how much my parents had saved - yet they lived like paupers.
The surviving spouse is legally responsible for the arrangements( even though you may actually do all the arranging). You can't assume s/he she will die at the same time. They may well be able to access funeral payments from the DWP Social Fund if they have no means of paying themselves. Or there may be provision in the will.
Try not to worry. Make the most of the time you have with them. Also remember once they have gone there is no-one to fill in all the family history details any more. There are things I wished I had asked my parents before they died.

ceridwen

dzug1 wrote: »

Sorry, who are 'they'? If it's the banks, I don't think so. I doubt if they would release money for that type of expense at all.

If it's HMRC for the estate return then they are likely to accept your statement of how much you've spent at face value. Only very exceptionally would they ask for receipts.

So - to clarify - is it the case that the bank (and presumably building societies as well - if thats where they have their money instead) - would release money for:
- the undertaker
- the doctor (didnt know about that one!)
- expenses involved with the church (vicar/flowers/etc)

and wouldnt release money for:
- the wake

????puzzled - dont understand how that could be the case - as they know a wake is standard practice and happens immediately after the funeral????? (back to panicking how the alcohol gets paid for - and...errr...yes....that is standard practice for the person arranging it to provide the bottles of booze in my family). Does one forget about doing the refreshments oneself and arrange a caterer to do it - and then pay them their bill whenever the money all comes through? (not very happy with that thought.....)

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(I'll think about HMRC later - I dont expect them to take any tax for anything anyway - as its only a modest estate - I cant see Inheritance Tax coming into it and I dont think theres any other tax to think of. So I doubt they come into the picture at all - if they did - they'd get theirs when the money was actually there and no sooner. So I'm not going to concern myself with them.).

I'm just concerned with the costs aspect now.

margaretclare

That's what me and OH are in the process of sorting out, not just for the environmental issue but also hopefully the cost though I popped in to see the local funeral director today just for some more info and on their price list the wicker baskets were more money than I'd been quoted from another place so not sure whether the Co-op (our most local undertaker-oh OH has just told me there is another in town) would allow us to get out own or not. I'm getting an appointment with them when I come back from holiday and see how it works.

I got a quote last October when DH was so ill - what I specified above, £2,500.

There are other types of coffin - some are like a thick cardboard box.