Alcohol self help thread II

feelinggood_2

jayne.doe wrote:

Happy New Year everyone. I hope this year will be happy healthy and hey hopefully wealthy for you all. I am staying in tonight just me, oh, and ds, dd out to an all night party. What is everyone else doing?

I don't celebrate New Year, so just a usual day for me
Hope you enjoy the evening

beer2006

Hello and happy new year.
We're just staying in, might have a couple of people round but thats it.

Any addiction is interesting feelie, if its not bad, why do you want to give it up?

feelinggood_2

beer2006 wrote:

Hello and happy new year.
We're just staying in, might have a couple of people round but thats it.

Any addiction is interesting feelie, if its not bad, why do you want to give it up?

As far as addictions go, it isn't that bad, in my opinion. It isn't damaging to anyone else, and no one really knows about it
I want to stop, as it affects my life

beer2006

feelinggood wrote:

As far as addictions go, it isn't that bad, in my opinion. It isn't damaging to anyone else, and no one really knows about it
I want to stop, as it affects my life

Fair enough, best of luck then, wear your turkey badge :rotfl: with pride.

feelinggood_2

beer2006 wrote:

Fair enough, best of luck then, wear your turkey badge :rotfl: with pride.

Its only a little badge hehe. Visual reminders like that work well for me - things like sticker charts too. God, I'm a big kid aren't I ?!

Any plans on giving up cigs again, or having a rest from it for a while?

beer2006

Yes, still cutting down on cigs, still thinking everyday about not smoking, didn't smoke yesterday, its getting easier on normal days.

nicolaspets

Hi,
Sorry for jumping in but I badly need some advice please.
My dad is an alocoholic (35 years), a few years ago lost his job and home, managed to get him nearer to me (even had him here for 4 months), he detoxed and lasted 8 months, when he went back on he went downhill very quickly, and eventually ( after little help from gp) ended up in hospital for 7 weeks ( couldn't eat/drink/ walk, lost control of his bowels, really, really sick, liver problems, jaundice, dehydrated, malnourished. ( my dad has just turned 57).
He has been sober for 11 months, I hava managed to get him into sheltered housing (wouldn't let them send him home from hospital), he has been doing fantastic, walking miles, attending action for change meetings, and being a really great father and grandfather.
However today it transpires that something has set him off and he has been drinking for a week ( has been hiding it as I have visited him everyday for the last 4 years), today there was the old familiar glass and drunk father.
I am terrified, i am not sure if I have the stregnth to do this all again ( no other family willing/able to help), i myself have 4 children, youngest not even 2. He says he was testing himself to see if he could do controlled drinking (obviously not)He has 2 and a half bottles of brandy, which I gather he is planning on drinking tonight/tomorrow, and then spending the next few days in bed detoxing.
He has given me his money and bank cards, and I have agreed not to go ther until Wednesday evening ( he has an appointment at action for change on Thurs). I think this amount of alcohol may just kill him, and if that doesn't and he doesn't stop again, it will kill him eventually, i would give it a year max.
I am so scared, I don't know what to do, he has admitted he wishes he hadn't done it, he was so sick and got so well. Please can someone help me.

jayne.doe

Honestly I dont know what you can do If he has decided to drink then how can you stop him. He is a consenting adult you have taken his cards but he is left with 2 bottles of brandy thats a hellva quantity of alcohol.
At the moment is he rational coz if hes drunk then hes not thinking straight. If you go on Wednesday what state is he going to be in then?

You sound a fantastic daughter but you also have a family to look after too, im not saying dont bother. At the moment he is fufilling his own needs and its selfish but drinkers are. Apart from taking the brandy what can you do.?

Anyway i dont know if this helps enquiries@al-anon.org.uk they might be able to give you some advice.
https://www.al-anonuk.org.uk

nicolaspets

Thankyou for replying, there is no way I could take the brandy, he is on some sort of mission, but it will kill him, if not now then later.
My daughter (12, 13 on Fri!), went round with my dog, and sent me a text to say that he was drinking, the poor kid ended up hiding from him as he took the dog, forbade her to go on the computer, and went looking for me, and that is without mentioning that my 14 yr old ended up in tears after i received the text( what a knock on effect this has), and my baby missed out on his visit to granpa, as I don't want to put him through it.
I must just mention that I love this man so much and I am really all he has got ( I have a very supportive partner luckily), but half of me feels like saying get on with it, you have made your choice, but I also know that if he continues he will go downhill so very fast, and someone has to be there to scrape the faeces off the floor( literally).
Al-anon is not for us, which is why he does action for change.
My sober dad is the best father in the whole world, he is kind, helpful, loving but so sad, rude, antagonistic and pathetic, when he is drinking.
But I still love him desperately.
Happy New Year and thanks.

feelinggood_2

Nicolaspets, I'm really sorry to hear about what you are going through. I'm afraid I don't really have any advice.
There is an al-anon chat room (and an AA one) at http://stepchat.com/
I know al-anon isn't for you, but there is likely to be people in there who have been through similar things - and there might be someone who can offer some advice.
Sorry I couldn't help more xx