Alcohol self help thread II

*Natalie*

Hello everybody, this is my first post on your thread, I have wanted to post on here for a while but haven't had the courage, nor have been ready to finally face my alcohol problem.

Firstly, I have read lots on this thread and also the first thread Beer started in the Arms, yes, I have lurked for some time! I admit I'm not that up to date as I've been really busy lately, but know a few bit's and pieces about you. I haven't seen Beer post for some time, has he left the forum for good?

So, I will tell you a bit about myself

I am female and 34 years old, I have children and a partner. I have had a wild relationship with alcohol since I was about 15. My problem is simple, I cannot have a couple of drinks and leave it at that! I have to get completely hammered. I might only drink once a week but I will be paraletic that once a week I mainly drink at the weekend and mainly at home, usually Friday. My partner drinks most nights when the children are in bed, he'll only have one or two, maybe three, but never get's pi*sed and always know's when to stop.

On Sunday I got hammered I was OK and not making a fool of myself, I tend to go on with myself a bit, can get emmotional about stuff (my past - but that's another story!), but generally I just pass out and that's that, but on Sunday I suddenly decided that this would be my final drink, to be sure to stick to my gun's I faced my partner and told him I had to stop, that I would appreciate his help and support and that I didn't want any alcohol in the house until I felt 'ready' to handle it.

On Monday he drank wine in the house - I went to bed early.
On Tuesday he nipped to the pub for a couple - I went to bed early.
On Wednesday he again went to the pub - I went to bed early (turning into miss exciting here aren't I?).
On Thursday he didn't drink!! we watched a bit of TV together and went to bed..

All the while I don't say one word about alcohol or the fact that he's let me down a bit.

Lastnight he sat there with a bottle of wine and drank the lot in front of me :mad: Friday night - my drinking night - he sit's next to me and boozes all night. UNBELIEVEABLY I don't flinch and resist the temptation (didn't know I had such willpower) but just before I went up to bed I confronted him and asked him why he'd been so unsupportive in my time of need and he replied that he liked a drink of a night and that's that.

I honestly cannot believe it and feel our relationship is over, I didn't go mad, didn't say much at all really, I was too choked! I went to bed and sobbed.

Anyway, I've got to log off for a bit but will be back later, I am so determined to be rid of alcohol forever but really do not know if I can do it.

Many thanks for reading.
Nat x

Al_Mac

And a quick response from me, in between children pick up and drop off(s). I love Saturday mornings:rolleyes:

Natalie a very big well done, firsty for thinking you may have a problem. Not stopping when started was something I grew into, every night! And secondly for doing something about it:T

I agree your partner has been a little:rolleyes: un-supportive. You need to talk to him, again, when he hasn't had a drink and hopefully when you are not as tired or stressed. Does he go over the "limit" every night, or just a couple. A couple every night could still be classified as a problem:eek:

You need to explain your fears about you and your fears about him, drinking every night isn't good;)

Would you consider yourself and alcoholic, would you consider going to AA or someother group?

Do you think your behaviour was having an influence on the children, or your partners behaviour? I got irritable and angry with mine very easily:o

I'll be back later, please keep on posting:D Others, will no doubt, be along later.

Al x

PS got a charity do tonight:eek: I'll be bored by 10, when every one else is majorly tipsy:rotfl:

Al_Mac

How you doing today fg?

ac's about, morning

And morning to you S

ac

hi nat xxx

well all i can say is let him get on with it !!

you do wot you have to do xxxx

i no how difficult it is to be in the company of someone
still drinking infront of you, in seperate rooms xx
but......

at the end of the day you cannot get away from alcohol anyway....

its everywere.... on t.v.... papers...magazines..
24 hour shops... off licences....

and if you can cope with it in the house and him drinking infront of you

you can cope in any situation out in the big wide world..
you wont have to freak out when you go shopping ..

i no its not helping you him drinking...
but it WILL make you stronger xxxx

dont let anything take away your sobriety.. its yours...
and only yours...

good luck xxxx

edit mornin AL & S

*Natalie*

Al_Mac wrote:

And a quick response from me, in between children pick up and drop off(s). I love Saturday mornings:rolleyes:

Natalie a very big well done, firsty for thinking you may have a problem. Not stopping when started was something I grew into, every night! And secondly for doing something about it:T

I agree your partner has been a little:rolleyes: un-supportive. You need to talk to him, again, when he hasn't had a drink and hopefully when you are not as tired or stressed. Does he go over the "limit" every night, or just a couple. A couple every night could still be classified as a problem:eek:

You need to explain your fears about you and your fears about him, drinking every night isn't good;)

Would you consider yourself and alcoholic, would you consider going to AA or someother group?

Do you think your behaviour was having an influence on the children, or your partners behaviour? I got irritable and angry with mine very easily:o

I'll be back later, please keep on posting:D Others, will no doubt, be along later.

Al x

PS got a charity do tonight:eek: I'll be bored by 10, when every one else is majorly tipsy:rotfl:

I'm so grateful for your reply (and al's).

Re talking to my partner, well, he's out all day today and when he returns this evening I just want to see if he'll start boozing and then that will confirm that he's not bothered about how I feel.. Ac, I know what you're saying about alcohol being everywhere and maybe I should accept that and let him carry on regardless, but the fact is that I have specifically asked him to take my feelings into consideration for a bit and to stop with the alcohol in the house, that he hasn't stopped say's everything to me (unfortunately). If we didn't have the children then I think I would leave.

He was probably always the 'wrong' person for me because yes, he does like a drink and he likes one every night.. some nights it's just the one can, I really don't think he is over the limit everynight at all just takes a drink to relax, I'm the one who goes OTT.

Yes Al, I do think I'm an alcoholic that's the first time I've said that (although not aloud I know).. my dad is an alcoholic, I wonder if it's hereditary? I start drinking, get tipsy, get more tipsy, get really wobbly, get drunk, then paraletic, then pass out that's most Friday nights... the reason for the Friday night thing is because my eldest child stays at his friends on Fridays and the youngest is taken out early doors by my partner (they go on job's together) so I know I can recover. It's a bit mad watching Saturday Kitchen hangover free!!! OMG! :T :T when I was single and living alone I used to drink much more regularly because I didn't have kids and also, I was younger and could handle the hangover better!

I have tried counselling in the past (one to one with a phyciatrist), this was for abuse in childhood and only went to 2 sessions and found it embarrassing and unhelpful so have to say that AA doesn't appeal I would rather give up on my own if I can.

Al - how on earth do you manage going to 'do's' alcohol-free? I don't think I could get through it! I remember being pregnant on New Year's Eve and feeling like an alien :rotfl: and thinking everyone was bonkers.

Once again, thanks for your replies.
Natx

Al_Mac

As you've said you haven't read the entire thread.

My moment of final realisation, Mrs Mac was away with the children and I drank 1lt bottle, one 70cl bottle and possibly another In less than 24 hours:eek: Was suicidal, sent an email to my family telling them I had enough, got loads of calls, this was gone 11 at night:o Sister and bil drove 200 miles the next day to be with me.

I decided not to go through that again, not to out the Mrs through that again, not to treat my children like that again and not to scare every one silly again:o

I'm not saying I wont drink again, as I'd love to have the odd glass of red wine. I don't miss beer, I don't miss spirits.

How will I get through tonight, I have to, I have to have some kind of life, our best friends know and don't let it affect them:rolleyes: Other people think I've just stopped, that's fine, I'm not particularly bothered about admitting it now. I was, but not anymore. I'll get through because I have to:o

Al_Mac

Sorry that sounded desparate, I was at the start, I'm not anymore. Sometimes it is hard. But I now only every seem to get the urge for a drink when others already have had a few

And if Mrs Mac fancies a drink when we are out, doesn't bother me

*Natalie*

Al_Mac wrote:

As you've said you haven't read the entire thread.

My moment of final realisation, Mrs Mac was away with the children and I drank 1lt bottle, one 70cl bottle and possibly another In less than 24 hours:eek: Was suicidal, sent an email to my family telling them I had enough, got loads of calls, this was gone 11 at night:o Sister and bil drove 200 miles the next day to be with me.

I decided not to go through that again, not to out the Mrs through that again, not to treat my children like that again and not to scare every one silly again:o

I'm not saying I wont drink again, as I'd love to have the odd glass of red wine. I don't miss beer, I don't miss spirits.

How will I get through tonight, I have to, I have to have some kind of life, our best friends know and don't let it affect them:rolleyes: Other people think I've just stopped, that's fine, I'm not particularly bothered about admitting it now. I was, but not anymore. I'll get through because I have to:o

Sounds like you were at rock bottom, thank goodness you have a family that love you, I feel very alone in that respect. I am in awe that you've gone so long without a drink, can you tell me if it get's easier the longer you go without? and have you felt better in your health since giving up? do you look better?

I am completely terrified of never having a drink again! isn't it funny how we crave something that makes us ill? I am buzzing around the house on a Saturday feeling fresh for the first time in ages because I haven't got that horrendous hangover! I normally have to write the whole day off and just feel miserable slopeing around the place! I think I've grown up maybe at last and realised it's selfish!

Al_Mac

*Natalie* wrote:

do you look better?

:rotfl: I wish:rotfl:

I think it gets easier. There are the odd times, as I said, when I'd like one, not often.

I am sleeping better as a rule.

I'm not getting twinges in my back from my kidneys:o

My wee changes colour during the day:o It should get clearer as the day goes on, it didn't for years:o

My morning quality, all week, is better:D

*Natalie*

Al_Mac wrote:

:rotfl: I wish:rotfl:

I think it gets easier. There are the odd times, as I said, when I'd like one, not often.

I am sleeping better as a rule.

I'm not getting twinges in my back from my kidneys:o

My wee changes colour during the day:o It should get clearer as the day goes on, it didn't for years:o

My morning quality, all week, is better:D

Heheee! I bet you're georgous! :rotfl:

I have been having back pain, was wondering if it was my kidneys but am not a doctor so wasn't sure :rotfl: I must admit that waking up without a hangover is the best feeling isn't it? did you suffer with them? I seem to be getting worse and worse and they last all day and all evening.

Doesn't Beer post anymore?