MSE Parents Club Part 4

r.mac_2

ManOnTheMoon wrote: »

Hello all, i'm going to be brave and post

I am a single father of 7 daughters from 2 relationships (first mother 2 girls, second 5 girls) Girls ages, 16, 14, 13, 11, 10 and twins aged 8. Both mothers walked out on us to seek fame and fortune amongst other things and as far as I am aware, neither have. Neither keep in touch with the kids.

I have help from a couple of female friends and my sister in law. I manage on my own in the main, but sometimes need help, or I am offered it. I do feel ashamed when I need to ask or accept any help. I feel it's my responsibility to cope on my own.

Since my last partner left, nearly 3 years ago, I have become far more withdrawn. I don't remember the last time I went out on my own without at least one of the kids. Even when they are at school, I stay at home and do housework and a part time job from home, which is supplemented by child benefit (awaits being cyberly castrated for being a sponger :rolleyes: )

Now, this is partially as I have lost all confidence and feel agoraphobic, anxious and have panic attacks, and the fact my eldest two, particularly the eldest, want me in as little situations as possible where I can meet people. Those two have lost two people they considered 'mothers' and don't want any more and don't want me being hurt again. They are very overprotective of me.

It's not like i've not been offered to go out. The previously mentioned friends and sister in law, as well as my brother have offered to go out with me, shopping, for a drink etc etc, but either I refuse out of guilt at upsetting my girls, or they refuse for me saying i'm happy as things are. Now I am, I love being with my girls, they are my life and I would never leave them voluntarily. They think I may go and never come back like the 2 mothers and/or meet someone. The eldest, who has just done her GCSE's, from the day her 2nd mother left, phoned me every lunchtime on her mobile from school, which was an improvement on her initial every break time, bot to check I was home necessarily, although she always asked what I had been doing, but to make sure I was okay.

So, my 2 current issues that I can't talk about to anyone...

1. If I ever wanted to meet anyone, I wouldn't be allowed as I would upset my girls, particularly the eldest two. I have absolutely no intention on doing so at the moment, i'm enjoying being a father, I love having them around and the holidays are great as we do so much together within our tiny budget (It's amazing how much you can do for free!) Anytime a female under say.....50, says anything to me, the eldest two are right there, protecting me and themselves, telling the woman how i'm happy as I am etc....even if the woman is just commenting on the Jonas Brothers books i'm buying for the girls or something. They see that as me being chatted up and someone trying to wriggle their way in

2. The eldest finished school this year and wants to go to college, but has said she won't as she wants to stay at home and help me around the house, help with her sisters and all the other things that most mothers do, but she's 16 and I want her to enjoy herself! She has friends that come around, she rarely goes out with them though. She is a popular girl. She's a pretty girl which she inherited from her mother (but fortunately didn't inherit her laziness, self centred attitude or general personality) and an intelligent one at that (I have no idea where she inherited that!)

How the heck do I convince her to go to college, even if it's part time? I'd love to have her home, but i'd love her to go out, enjoy herself and go to college and just be......young!

There is nothing I cannot talk about to my girls. I'm always honest and open with them, but they are the two things I am struggling with the most.

There is so much more, but I have said too much already I'll probably regret posting tonight and come back and hope no-one has noticed

I just wanted to say Hello :wave: and add that I am totally in awe of you. Welcome to the forum and I can already tell lots of us 'newer' parents will have loads of questions - with 7 girls you have had quite a head start on some of us:p:rotfl:

Anyway - hello :wave:

redmel1621

Sami_Bee wrote: »

I was complaining a while back that the boys stuff only had george pig not peppa

Ahhhh I see:o I have a terrible memory:rolleyes:

Is it because Peppa is a girl pig. I haven't seen the cartoon so don't know:p

Mel x

ladybirdintheuk

ManOnTheMoon wrote: »

DD1? Sorry not sure on this internet shortening lark :rotfl: I'm sure it's something Daughter 1, as in the eldest. Dodgy? Darling? Delightful? Dancing?

I think this year is too late in more ways than one for full time. She isn't ready to commit, so I cannot force her, but as already said, good to keep hher in the loop. I may phone the adult learning centre and see if 16 is old enough to get some info.

I think it's Darling... but at times, when talking about my DH it could be disgusting/dratted/dirty/disorganised/dimwitted i'm sure your DD is always darling though

cazscoob wrote: »

oh no krystal what a fussy baby lol!
well erins tooth is through and she keeps biting me, i know your not meant to make a big deal but it hurts lol! and she looks up and grins when she does it!

SM i know the feeling about birthdays, its abis this month and i was in panic mode as i didnt have money to arrange anything, my neighbour came round last week with a voucher for a kids party for 8 that she won in a raffle that she wont use! so she will have a party but only as its free!

oh i have found a nursery nearby that is outdoors, its based in the woods and they have fires and spend the whole day learning and playing outside. it looks amazing and i am trying to talk OH into sending Charlie for a day or 2 a week! i think he would love it!

What a cheeky monkey Erin is. Izzy gums me sometimes - gets a good grip then tries to turn around. Normally in public too... I'm not looking forward to teeth! Lucky break on the party. I've told my parents that we will be having birthday parties at their house when she is bigger, as they have more space! A little while before I have to worry about that though.

And that nursery sounds ace. I've read about them before, and they sound great fun. The only thing with these nurseries is it makes me wish I could go along too

weezl74

redmel1621 wrote: »

Did you find a baby walker weezl?

Mel x

sadly no

still, there are other weeks! We did get some other cool stuff, things to put aside for christmas and a lovely mirror for our bedroom and some DIY bits, so not a wasted journey

Thanks for asking, did you have a nice day Mel?

xxx

MrsTinks

Krystal it must be the age Alexandra is doing something similar - some days she'll feed fine, the next she might do one normal feed then decide that unless 5 doors in the house is open, the dog is upside down and I'm wearing a black bra and pink knickers then she ain't feeding unless it's upside down and I sing the alphabet backwards... *sigh* It's driving me nuts!
If she's not in the mood to feed from a certain boob then she'll kick off and not latch on properly
I've taken to expressing again and giving her a bottle... I have to say I'm sorely tempted by going for formula now I don't want to but this is seriously testing my sanity now! Hubby bless him says he's happy no matter what I want to do and will support me either way! (luv him!)

redmel1621

weezl74 wrote: »

sadly no

still, there are other weeks! We did get some other cool stuff, things to put aside for christmas and a lovely mirror for our bedroom and some DIY bits, so not a wasted journey

Thanks for asking, did you have a nice day Mel?

xxx

Yep, pretty good thanks. Glad you got a few bits to make it worth going:)

Oooh Tine I didn't recognise you then;)

MrsTinks

Oh MotM meant to answer you about St John - They do do some care in the community stuff or depending on what exactly she wants to do then she could help run the badger section etc for experience? Bertie Badger
Best bet is asking the local division to see what exactly they're involved in or even red cross It doesn't have to be blood and gore

searching_me

YAYYYY :dance: to me after 2 hours searching .. i thought of bowling then the games machines then disney store/toys r us all while shes dressed up as which ever princess she wants to be ........... my head hurts x

MrsTinks

redmel1621 wrote: »

Oooh Tine I didn't recognise you then;)

I snuck in with a different avvy I figured as everyone else were having gorgeous baby pics I would too!

cazscoob

mrs T i have had the same thoughts but my little madam will not take formula or a bottle or even a cup?? she will eat solids no problem and loves her food, i just worry she isnt getting enough?

lady - she is such a monkey she knows exactly what she is doing! this is the nursery im talking about! i think charlie would love it and it might be just the thing to tire him out(will have to wait until he turns 2 first lol)
http://www.secretgardenoutdoor-nursery.co.uk/index.htm