lilmissmups moving on and hopefully upwards diary!

lilmissmup

Yeah well i am on the whole no contact thing now anyway to stop that kind of thing.

I am quite proud of myself as this weekend was the first weekend we have had no contact since we split, always seems easier when I am at work as can keep my phone at home.

The only way i will let him talk to me emotionally again is if he wants to try again and that won't happen so no worries.

I am off to bed now, looking forward to seeing my Dad tomorrow and human contact!

Shoe_Gal

Night Dawn - l am proud of you for being so strong, l know how hard you are finding it :A

lilmissmup

People keep telling me I am strong, but I really don't think i am!

Anyway new day today, human contact too, starting to go loopy without any. I do still wish i was back at work today though!

SarahNeedle1872

lilmissmup wrote: »

People keep telling me I am strong, but I really don't think i am!

Anyway new day today, human contact too, starting to go loopy without any. I do still wish i was back at work today though!

You *are* being strong! Even if it doesn't feel like it! Its a massive move to have no/minimal contact with someone you have spent the last 6 1/2 yrs with, esp as you were planning a family etc. Don't sell yourself short hun, youy are doing great! Try to make sure that you stay in touch with people over the weekends etc though, it sounds like the last 48 hrs have been a bit rough on you (((hugs)))

Sx

lilmissmup

Thanks hun. If we do speak i end up getting really upset though, at first it was ok as we had things to discuss but now there is no excuse it just turns to me getting emotional and him too but then him telling me we have no chance so i can't keep dragging it on, it was me planning the family not him. :rolleyes:

I have managed to not get really upset this weekend just feeling a bit lonely now. Dont plan on being a hermit forever its not good.

I appreciate all you guys listening to me vent though, i promise i won't be crazy forever :rotfl:

Raquela

aaah, just read your whole diary, sorry to hear what you've gone through. And I promise you won't be crazy forever, there are plenty of us who have gone through the same and come out the other side!

My story is eerily close to yours except we never lived together. I was totally invested in him though, wanted to spend my life with him, I let myself be blind to the amount of dope that he smoked, that he never said those three little words, that he didn't want to get married, and didn't want kids. He was 15 years older than me, so I really should have cottoned on to the fact he was never going to grow up!

Suffice to say he eventually broke up with me - after eight months of wanting to, apparently, but being too much of a coward to do anything about it. After I got over it, I realised what a tit he really was, and that I wouldn't have been happy had he never plucked up the courage to end things. As far as I know he is exactly the same now, and I'm so glad I'm out of it! I've been single since that time, except a little fling, and rent by myself. It does cost more than sharing but I'm far happier living alone with everything on my terms than I ever was when I was with him.

Shoe_Gal

Hi

Agree with Sarah, you are stronger than you think :A

And Raquela - you have been stong too, and got your life together (as you know, l read your diary too!)

Dawn - enjoy your day with your Dad, and it's back to work and routine tomorrow. I think sometimes boring, regular routine can help you get through tough times until you start to feel better

Raquela

yep, I would definitely agree on the boring regular routine bit Shoe Gal! Around the time of dumpage, a lot of other poo was going on in my life, and I got to the point where I was just making sure I did the routine stuff I had to do, going to classes, attempting to study. I played a lot of Nintendo DS that year as well as it stopped me from thinking. Best therapy ever lol... A little while later I realised that I was living again, enjoying my days, was actually studying.. and had noticed a new bloke, when I thought I'd never look at anyone again ;-)

lilmissmup

Well Dad came over at 10ish, went to see my nan for a bit then he came back and tidied my Garden a bit then we went for a walk down the river and fed his adopted swan family that he has taken to this summer, when it comes to animals me and Dad are huge softies.

Sadly his cat died last week so hes quite sad too, hes had such a rough year along with me, i want things to get better for both of us.

I am really looking forward to work tomorrow, sad as it is.

Oh and I have become addicted to Four Weddings, anyone else watch it? I am not a huge marriage fan but its so !!!!!y its hilarious. :rotfl:

Shoe_Gal

Sounds like you've had a good day

Work for me tomorrow - but l feel :eek: about it!