The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 4

115K

eselt wrote: »

Ok Guys- sorry to do this, but I'm just having a bit of a bad day hating alcohol because although it only takes a short while to get a reputation, it seems like forever, if ever to get through it. Briefly, I bought my kids up as a single parent for 11 yrs, working full time, paying all the bills etc. Then my mum died suddenly, my partner got hospitalised for psychosis, whilst he was in hospital we lost our house, I started drinking heavily, ended up in hospital with alcohol induced hepatitis, and kids dads took over and looked after little ones whilst I recovered.
Sounds great, but the fallout has been massive:
1) Teenagers friends are not allowed to sleep over because there parents know I have had/have a drink problem
2) Booked to go to a music festival last week, one of the kids I was due to take said his mother had just found out I was an alcoholic and wouldn't let her kid travel in a car driven by me as planned-my kids were devastated, I just handed my ticket over to my sons dad and he took them- it was supposed to be the treat of the year for me and my teenagers, but other people just didn't trust me and I haven't got a leg to stand on.
3) I don't know how long I am going to have to pay for my alcoholism, I was the perfect wife and mother for years, and noone seems to remember any of that, they only remember (and love gossiping about) the 9-12 months when I really lost it and I'm trying so hard to make amends but everyone just assumes I'll fail because thats what people with drink problems do- they let people down and you have to work twice as hard as anyone else to gain back the respect you've lost.
But I've lost too much because of alcohol, I know that, and its going to take me a lifetime to get back to square one- if I'd just nipped it in the bud like so many of you have the chance to do I know my life, and my childrens life, would have been so much better.
Take care everyone.

I have just gone online quickly tonight but Eselt - you have achieved so much. I think you should be proud of yourself for how far you have come since then.

fedupandskint

Eselt - I think you have done brilliantly to turn your life around like you have. Unfortunately not everyone sees you like this, people, esp the ones you are not so close to, tend to see the old you. Just carry on as you are and this view will change. It takes time and who knows how long. Do what you need to do for you and your family. They're the ones who count afterall.

Thought I'd let you know how I feel this morning and I hope you feel a bit more bright eye'd and bushy tailed than me!

I had a glass of wine one too many last night at home. The wine I had in the cupboard I had drank before and last night it was awful. The taste was too sharp. I haven't had a glass of wine for a while now and it surprised me. What is left is going down the sink today.

What did it leave me with? Felt drunk, got crotchety mood, got a bit suspicious mood, got a bad mood. Headache and groggy this morning after 3/4 bottle of wine. Snappy with my dog.

Was it worth it? Not at all. I rest my case.

I can't even drink this amount (admittedly too much) without terrible after effects now. Only one bottle of wine left in the house now (unopened). Funny how last night I thought about buying some more once it had all gone Why Look how it makes me feel :eek:

beachbeth

40somethingmum wrote: »

Hi Eselt

If only these people could see what a wondeful person you are now. :A

Sending you lots & losts of (((hugs))


40SM

I agree. More hugs from me. ((()))

Bismarck - you are right. My crucual moment with alcohol is when Im cooking and the dinner is nearly ready. Its the moment of the day when Im the most hungry because its just before I eat. Ive realised my craving is more because of hunger than because I want a glass of something. If I get past this moment I find it easier to not have a drink after dinner.

DEBTMONKEY1A

Hi! Well yesterday was MUCH better than planned. G/F had the option to go to hospital (NOT sectioning/compulsory admission) as she's been banging on for months & months (not all the time-only when she gets theses 'blips') at the height of her (fairly short) episodes 'I need to go to hospitla' & 'please take me to hospital' etc.....so she had a look round the new ward (changed buildings since she was last there) & made her own mind up (for my GF decision making/confidence is a huge issue) that she'd be better off being treated at home.

They've increased on lot of meds since wed pm & already I can definately see shes much much less anxious & calmer. They're taking her off the prozac as apparently if you are very prone to anxiety prozac can make it worse! She actually woke up with a smile on her face today!

So we've avoided her being psychotic & I have to say the NHS have been GREAT! Support has been fab.

Esalt...I SO UNDERSTAND the problems when a partner is hospitalised for psychosis! It was for me the worse experience ever..I hope your partner is better now.

This last week has been the most stressfull week since she was admitted in January! I know this sounds an ideal excuse to drink & I'm not at all proud of this (for example what would happen if I needed to drive her somewhere middle of the night?!?) but really want to get back on track for today for my 21 days AF.

In all honesty without this thread I'd find it much harder!

Well done to all who've had AF days when they normally would not!

jo1972

Morning all :wave:

Caz, did you go to the meeting last night, hope it went well xx

BB, I found that after giving up smoking my drinking esculated, god knows what I'm going to have to replace alcohol with, hopefully fruit smoothies :cool:

Sam, congrats on the star

CW, I've never tried the Green Bottle cordials, they look nice, I might have to try some, which is the best one?

Miss P, Oh it's you that leaves random items on the wrong shelves is it! Don't even dream of dieting whilst your new into your sobriety, you need to get used to 1 change at a time :cool:

115K, that book sounds good, thanks for the tip!

MOB, thanks for the meatball idea, :drool: definately gonna try that one!

PIR, did you have a good holiday? Good luck with the decorating

BHB, look out for me later, I'll wave at you as we cross paths on the A12 :rotfl:

40SM, I used to go to an ice cream parlour when I was a kid, my dear ole dad used to take me every Sunday for a treat (and we got out of the house whilst mum cooked the roast!). They used to sell ice cream floats with all different flavoured syrups :drool:

Fay, fluffy loan gone today wooohoooo!!!!

GG, hope you are feeling okay today hun? xx

E, congrats on staying AF last night, you will stumble across the triggers every now and then and they come out of nowhere so stay vigilent!!

Eselt, thanks for tell us like it is and so sorry you are feeling this way at the moment. You have done so amazingly well, please don't be upset about other peoples narrowmindedness (sp??). xx

FUAS, hope you feel better soon matey xx

DM, so pleased about your GF, I hope she continues to get the help she needs, you are very supportive x

I did carp again last night, I seem to be jumping on and off this wagon like a yoyo!

Off on jollies today though, I will be taken out of my regular routine, will have no opportunity to hide drink and am planning on lots of swimming and healthy activities to improve my lifestyle

Really better go for now cos I've not packed anything yet, we're leaving at 12 noon and I haven't even written a list of what I need to take, let alone opened the wardrobe :eek:

I really am going to have to look into this self-sabbotage thing, I obviously suffer from it as I always leave everything till the last minute. I had visions of packing the car last night and being all ready this morning, but no, nothing changes :rolleyes: I'll still be driving down the A12 later on musing over the things I've forgotten :rotfl:

Hopefully be back later xx

barshamhillbilly

jo1972 wrote: »

BHB, look out for me later, I'll wave at you as we cross paths on the A12 :rotfl:

Not coming down today Jo - Just wave to the left when you see the Beccles sign at Blythburgh / Southwold junction :rotfl:

Miss P - was very naughty last night (see signature) :rolleyes:

Have a great day everyone

Best Wishes
BHB

jo1972

barshamhillbilly wrote: »

Not coming down today Jo - Just wave to the left when you see the Beccles sign at Blythburgh / Southwold junction :rotfl:

I'll try and look out for it, though to be honest I'll probably be concentrating on the road so I'll wave now instead :wave:

Still not started packing :undecided off to do it now!!

Pippilongstocking

Oh Jo - road is best to watch

Waves morning to all

Not AF last night - open bottle of wine in the fridge - go figure eh?
Now rest of it is down the sink - only drank half bottle - rubbish nights sleep and woke up a billion times

You do forgeet the madness of the sleeping with drink - AFD here today I promise

Waves to all - just paid off my loan WOO HOO

Pippilongstocking

Just caught up a bit
E - huge hug. xx

jo1972

Packed, just gotta put it in the car :eek: doubt it will all fit :rolleyes:

Off on jollies now so shant be around till next Sat

I will be lurking on my phone though no doubt and if I can go through the parlarva of trying to log on (which takes ages) then I'll post.

I hope you all have a luverly AF/cutting down week!

:wave: :kisses3:

xx