The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 4

winebox

mumofboys wrote: »

We had pizza, tried a new flavour which was a bit weird.

MOB

erm, what? Chocolate? Raspberry Ripple?....*mind boggling*...

40somethingmum

mumofboys wrote: »

Hi Jo

Really well done!!! Glad you had such a nice curry. We had pizza, tried a new flavour which was a bit weird.

Have faith in yourself about tonight. Don't start by doubting yourself, you can do it...

I will try to post to exchange how we are doing, but my OH doesn't know I am on this forum, and I think would think I had completely lost the plot....

Have a good day.

MOB

Hi MOB

I didn't tell my husband at first about this thread then I started mentioning my "virtual " friends in conversation and he began asking who Jo, Fay, Budgie etc were and so I confessed .He was Oh Ok then:rotfl:.
I do spend toooo much time on this website , not just on this thread, but debt- busting, old style , competitions etc etc. The kids see that I am on the internet and say " Oh , mum's money-saving again:rotfl::rotfl:)

The football went really well , thanks . It quite sweet at the moment ... watching 5 yr olds play football. The wee on in goal got bored and just wandered off to the side of the pitch..:rotfl::rotfl:

Sounds like you have got a good plan for this evening. DH has now gone away for the weekend so we are probably going to have a cinema & bowling night.... IOW watch DVD with popcorn followed by bowling on the Wii. I quite like playing bowling on the Wii as i can actually manage to get a strike .... something i have not managed in real bowling. :rotfl::rotfl:

As I am soley (sp?0) in charge of the boys I probably will not be having any alcohol :T:T.

Have a good evening .

40SM:D

BTW Well done on the run :T:TWalking is fairly impressive to me:rotfl::rotfl:

40somethingmum

Miss P,

I hope you are feeling better today, hun.:A

When you get a moment please update my scores to 13 units and 3 AFD.


Budgie

I also hope you are feeling much , much better today.:A

40SM:D

budget_babe

Hi Guys :hello:

Thankyou so much for your good wishes but unfortunately I am not feeling any better in fact I feel much worse.I have had to go into work today and I really didn't feel like it at all.

My problem lies with Mr BB, as you all know it will be our 25th wedding anniversary on the 25th August. It all stems from his depression (which I have been googling). Last September he in fairness wasn't well and gave up his job, this was at a time when my own company were making many reduncancies. I took him to the doctors who put him on tablets etc. He then stopped taking them in January this year without seeing his Doctor and as you all know he was so horrible to live with.

I did not moan about the fact that he gave up his job and this is how I came across this site in the first place as I was trying to save money. I have been the one to sort out the finances and cut back etc. But he really is getting worse again and yesterday we went to purchase a new mattress and what a time I had he just went off on one. I have told him this isn't normal behaviour which in his rational moments he knows is true.

He then burst into tears last night and he never cries at all in all the years that I have known him. Part of me is trying to help him but another part is thinking how miserable my life has become. I have been trying to read up on depression and if anyone knows of anything that would help at all then I would be grateful.

It has made me think more as on Thursday night one of our vendors called into say that he wanted to put the marketing of his property on hold as his wife has been diagnosed with cancer and is having to have chemotherapy. She is such a lovely woman and she has such a lovely aura around her, I felt so upset. But how long do any of us have in this world and we should be making the most of everyday.

But it has also made me realise that I am now 45 and I don't seem to laugh anymore or feel happy. Something dawned on me yesterday: I had always vowed that I would not marry a drinker, due to my father being one before my Ds was born. It slapped me in the face yesterday that I have married someone with problems just like my mother (But not as bad).

I am trying to help him but I just really don't know what to do, I am a caring person (I hope). But if we can't find a way forward is it fair after all these years that I lose the home I have worked so hard for? I am a loyal person and I took my marriage vows very seriously indeed, but things are not good and I wonder what will happen?

I am ringing the doctors on Monday to book him in for an appointment, but if when I go down to see my Ds and he spoils it then I shall be so upset and angry.

I never know what type of day he is having and so I have realised that this is making me so tense. I am trying to work to pay all the bills but it is now making me ill as well. But then if I don't work we won't have any money to pay anything.

Sorry for the long post but it is hard to talk to my friends as they know us both and I don't think that is really fair on him or them.

I feel so utterly miserable and I really don't know what will happen. Many people are so much worse off I know and I don't mean to burden anyone. But sometimes we all need to let our feelings out.

I hope everyone is ok and I am off to catch up with the posts now, oh and I could so do with a glass of red wine, but Miss P I am on 7af days including today and please tell our Adorable Piglet that the extra special hug was lovely :A

40sm you are lovely too :A, Jo well done and don't think by saying how good the indian is down the road that you can get out of making us curry and I miss Fay :A xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

God Bless
Budgie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

fedupandskint

Hi,

I'm just popping on to say I was AF last night but will be drinking tonight as OH and I will share a bottle of wine to celebrate the passing of our old dog who went to sleep yesterday at the vets. I can't talk about it much more as it is very upsetting for me.

Just need a bit of time to get my head around it. I'll be back on tomorrow or Monday and I'll catch up then with what has been happening on here.

Good luck tonight for anyone who needs it (Jo)

geranium72

Budgie - I don't know what to say other than to say my thoughts are with you - what a difficult position to be in. Are there any forums or help groups around for people living with people with depression? Is it worth asking the doctor to refer you for some counselling as I am sure bottling everything up won't help

Have a big virtual hug

FUAS - I am so sorry - I have pets too and would be devastated as well. I have tears in my eyes for you as I type. Hope you get through today ok.

40somethingmum

Oh My Darling Budgie.

What can I say to make you feel better ? DH is clearly very very depressed and definetly needs to go back and see the doctor . Has he always suffered from depression or is this a recent thing ( ie the last yr) . I think you should also have a word with your doctor as the stress of it all is clearly getting to you. Can your son come home and talk to his dad ?

Hopefully he will not spoil your time in London with your DS but I would suggest that you pre-warn your son to make allowances for him .

I really wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you :A. Just remember I/we are always here for you . P/m me if you need to let off steam.

You are one of the loveliest people that I have not met . We all adore you ....... don't forget that.


lots & lots of (((Hugs)))

40SM

40somethingmum

fedupandskint wrote: »

Hi,

I'm just popping on to say I was AF last night but will be drinking tonight as OH and I will share a bottle of wine to celebrate the passing of our old dog who went to sleep yesterday at the vets. I can't talk about it much more as it is very upsetting for me.

Just need a bit of time to get my head around it. I'll be back on tomorrow or Monday and I'll catch up then with what has been happening on here.

Good luck tonight for anyone who needs it (Jo)

FUAS,

Very sorry to hear about your dog .:A Sending you (((Hugs)))


40SMx

115K

Sorry to read about your poor doggie Fedupandskint. Take care.

Budget Babe - I suffer from clinical depression also and I think your husband could do with the trip to the GP and maybe some counselling / talking therapy also. I feel sorry for my DH as I do have very erratic mood swings and I mustn't be too much fun to live with sometimes but depression is an illness and people that have it often can't help taking it out on the people they love. It's unfair I know.

((Hugs)) to everyone else.:A( I am still only on 2 days AF.:rolleyes:)

mollypolly

Awwww fedupandskint...sorry about your doggie.Hope you soon start to think of the happier times.

Budgetbabe...I am so sorry for you for everything that seems to be going wrong in your life at the moment.
I really think your DH needs to see the doctor ASAP.He shouldn't have just stopped taking his tablets after only 4 months.When my DH was depressed a few years ago he had to take them for two years and then come off them gradually.Four months is not enough....the trouble is one begins to feel better and think that they can cope without but then the depression just comes back again.Please tell him to take the tablets for as long as the doctor says.
The sooner he starts the sooner he will get back to being the person you fell in love with and stayed with for 25 years.

Maybe you should see the GP too as life seems to be very stressful for you as well....maybe you could talk to someone about depression in families.
You are a loving,caring person and don't forget...I only live at the other end of the city.If you would like to meet up for a coffee and a chat we could arrange this......As I don't know your DH you could chat to me confidentially.....let off a bit of steam as it were.
Anyway...you know where I am if you need me.

Take care of you
Love Mollypollyxxxx