21 yr old sons girlfriend is pregnant.

delain

jacci45 wrote: »

Thanx for your replies,unfortunately there is no way we can help them financially towards a deposit,I think her mother is prepared to 'evict' her to help her get on council list.
My son does work,he earns about 19,000 a year but now he is renting himself has no money left at the end of the month and she has debts as well,he doesnt but just has no spare money.A one bedroomed flat round here is at least 650 per month.

thanks again,

xx

forgot to say - before lived in manky one bed flat they had me and ex in b&b room for 4 months with just a microwave to cook food!

does their local council not do a deposit scheme?

robpw2

ooh honey trap springs to mind after reading last comment
i think a nice card is a good idea .. i would hold of buying a present just yet the baby not born yet maybe get them a gift of congrats instead ,..or just the card

delain

i got really annoyed with people just turning up with stuff... i know they were trying to help but if i've got to push a buggy for 3 years i'm going to have one i like!

The key point is ASK! they will tell you what they need

Paparika

how long have they been together... how many weeks pregnant is she?

poet123

Whoever said life is harder and more worrying when your kids are younger? I found having little ones a doddle compared to the emotional toll having teens and older ones takes!

Good luck, a friend of ours was in a similar situation with her son, only GF was 17 he was 18, they have coped really well,3 years down the line he has a good job where he was promoted, they have their own home (mortgage) and the little one is a delight.

So it can be done.

robpw2

Paparika wrote: »

how long have they been together... how many weeks pregnant is she?

They have been together for about 14 wks and its come as a shock!

according to the op

Ivrytwr3

why was he talking about splitting up? Are you and your son sure the baby is his?

jacci45

Hi all,they have been together 14 wks and Dr reckons she is 6 weeks ,they are waiting for a scan appt.Im going to get a little something and a card today just as a gesture really.The reason he wanted to split was that she was doing his head in(his words not mine!) and he didnt know if he could cope with all their arguments-he has now put that down to mood swings as she is pregnant!!
Thanx again for all your replies.

xxx

Pssst

jacci45 wrote: »

Hi all,they have been together 14 wks and Dr reckons she is 6 weeks ,they are waiting for a scan appt.Im going to get a little something and a card today just as a gesture really.The reason he wanted to split was that she was doing his head in(his words not mine!) and he didnt know if he could cope with all their arguments-he has now put that down to mood swings as she is pregnant!!
Thanx again for all your replies.

xxx

Jacci..what is needed here is some raw and brutal honesty and it needs to happen between your son and this young lady with NO outside interference.

People will have sex. Its normal and natural. Put a pretty girl in front of me or any other guy and if we had the chance,most of us would like to have sex with her.

But then thats from a male perspective.

Men think with their dicks a lot of the time and often,the girl has to take the initiative with respect to contraception.

Was there any contraception involved was was it a moment of uncontrolled lust?

Aside from that,its happened so needs to be dealt with honestly.

Bearing in mind my initial paragraphs,your sons needs to examine his thoughts and decided whether he was just having fun,having sex with a good looking girl and not planning for the whole baby and living together thing.

He isnt emotionally ready for all of this by the sounds of it. The girl is pregnant !!!!!! and all he can intimate is that he wants to dump her cos she is doing his head in.

That honesty needs to happen NOW....TODAY if necessary.

The girl needs to know where she stands and i think i already know.

Once she knows,she needs to consider her options.

Short term pain,long term gain..?

Pee

One of my friends was about to split with his unreasonable girlfriend when they found out that she was pregnant, and hormones had been the reason for the problems. And another friend when I met his new girlfriend she was pregnant and I really wondered what he was doing with her as I thought she was unbearable until a few weeks later he announced the good news.

£19,000 is a good wage and there are benefits like working families tax credit that really top this up. No wonder it came as a shock, and no, maybe not ideal, but still a cause for celebration.

Congratulations!