21 yr old sons girlfriend is pregnant.

Glen0000

They are not children. Cut the apron strings a little. I say this with experience of being a young dad. They are old enough to decide to bring a child into the world and are therefore old enough to cope with all that brings.

Me and my wife did not have a penny to rub together, I did not even work full time and we managed. It was the making of me. Taught me to be a man. I am sure they will be fine. Concentrate on being a granny and enjoy this time. The stress is not yours to bear.

Voyager2002

Since your son works full-time and earns a reasonable salary, they should be able to manage financially. And in lots of ways it is better to have children when you are young: at that time you are better able to handle sleepless nights and exhaustion. Anyway, do please direct your son to this site, particularly the DFW board. He does need to set a budget and sort out his finances so that he can save for a deposit, but it is no use just telling him that. He needs to learn about how to manage money, and the resources on this site are a very good way to start learning.

jacci45

I could cry now,son has just expressed he is a bit upset with us because her family are chuffed to bits,full of congrats and not worried about them at all.I think I will buy a little baby something or other and then he might realise I wont be the granny from hell.

xx

zzzLazyDaisy

Congratulations!

Honestly, once the shock has worn off, you will feel differently. And when the baby is here, you will be besotted.

I speak as a young grandmother (my son was 22 when GD1 was born).

Try to put your qualms aside - even if the relationship doesn't survive, worrying about it now won't change anything. Be happy for them, and let them get on with it. Get them a 'congratulations on your good news' card, and something for the baby.

Also - a tip - now is the time to earn some brownie points with the gf - if things don't work out, as you fear, she will most likely be the pwc of your grandchild.

Any

jacci45 wrote: »

I could cry now,son has just expressed he is a bit upset with us because her family are chuffed to bits,full of congrats and not worried about them at all.I think I will buy a little baby something or other and then he might realise I wont be the granny from hell.

xx

I don't think present is going to make matters better.

You need to hug him and her and say that baby is happy occasion!

I am sure they will cope. They are not children any more.

jacci45

Lazy daisy,that is a lovely idea,oh has sent a lovely email to them both and Im going to do what you have said, once Ive got over the initial shock I will be looking forward to seeing my first grandchild-even tho I feel too young!!!

xx

moiramber

I would say they will be fine financially. My partner is at uni full time and does not work and I'm on maternity leave and we manage!!! I used to be the sole earner earning less than your son does! and we have private rent of 625, get no housing benefit only receive maternity allowance, tax credits and child benefits and then my partners student loan. If we can do it they certainly can, The benefits she gets will be enough to pay the rent and earning 19000 will give them a good 1300? a month on top of that. Hardly a hardship.

xmaslolly76

Just A quicky firstly congratulations :-)

Secondly if they go down the privately rented route even with your son working they may still be able to claim help towards the rent off the council which they wouldnt get if they were in a council house.

jacci45

Hi all and thanx again,its the timing thats really got to us,last week he was talking about them splitting and this week.........
going to go shopping at lunchtime for a nice card and something for my 1st grandchild!!

xx

dora37

I was 21 (22 when had DS1) when pregnant, had only known OH for a couple of months and had met him on holiday, so we were only seeing each other at weekends as we lived 200 miles away.

DS1 is now 18 and we have been married for nearly 17 years. :j

In the beginning, looking at the facts, we were a recipe for disaster.....we have 3 lovely children, live in a nice house and OH runs his own successful business.....so it isn't always doom and gloom.