The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Runnerduck

Thats awful tea, nothing i can really say but thinking of you both x

well we have taken shopping to make you feel better to a new extreme, hubby has got me a lovely wood burning range cooker, he has arranged someone to come and fit a central heating system off it, and as we have to rearrange the kitchen to put it where we want it, i have to choose new worktops, flooring and tiles, and he is going to extend the one wood shed to fit more in! I think he is partly doing it to take my mind off things, and he knows i love cooking.

tea_lover

Runnerduck wrote: »

well we have taken shopping to make you feel better to a new extreme,

I know what you mean. I so wanted to cheer OH up last night I seriously contemplated buying him a car.

vseviour

I took hubby to a candy shop today :-)

Whattodonow

Thanks for the replies all

Hey tea. Had a similar experience as your OH last year. I hope he is ok. It's very difficult to understand and I think you just ehave to accept you can never be inside somebody else's head. I also didn't see it coming and I was very close to the person involved.

Massive hug to primmer xxx

Mrs h I also agree it sounds like the best thing to do. Take some time out and do lots of small things that will make you a literal mrs happy

Primmer

Tea - how awful, what a horrible thing to happen.

MrsHappy - sounds a wise thing to do. It does take time to start feeling better and can see how your job would not help.

Time2deal - thanks for the update. Hope you are getting plenty of rest.

Runner - good shopping!!!

Hugs to all xx

bigzippy

tea_lover wrote: »

BZ - I felt that there was a general sort of malaise that seemed to increase over the months of clomid. Nothing that big on its own, but by the end of 6 months of it I felt run down and like I'd been battered. But then, I think we often feel like that just from the mental effects of going through this, so it's difficult to say what's down to medication and what's down to general life-stress. A bit of a break from it all sounds like a very good idea.

Yeah I have that too. Definitely getting more painful with each cycle too though, but then I do have the combo of endo, pcos & fibromyalgia that will also be having an effect.:cool:

I'm actually wondering whether to go without clomid next cycle and then take the last cycle's worth the cycle after that, iyswim? Don't want the pain/discomfort to be more than this if there's no need (I'm aware it could be worse with ivf stimming). What does anyone think? :huh:

We were doing ok, thanks for asking. Had a good talk with OH about many things and we had a good week.

Did you manage to put to rest all the things that were said when he was drunk?

Then yesterday he had some awful news. A really good friend of his killed himself on sunday.

Obviously it's all v raw and OH is definitely in the angry stage at the moment. I feel awful that there's nothing I can do.

Oh no sorry to hear that. Things like that can really rattle you with the what if's make sure you both keep talking, to each other and others that are helpful.

Sorry - that was off-topic and a complete mood destroyer!

Don't even think on it! I've read much more off topic stuff on this thread (edit: meant to say forum, not thread :doh:) than that!

Primmer, I sympathise. I feel like that every other day, it seems like, at the moment. Hope you've got something tasty for tea to help cheer you up...

mrshappy

TL, how sad, hope you and oh are as okay as you can be x

As for buying stuff-I bought a huge fridge freezer at the weekend

I had a lovely day today, mrh was at work and the teenager was at work, I got lots of washing done and hung out, then took myself for a wee wander round some shops and out for lunch, I know some of you are Glasgow ish area-the museum of country life at Kittochside/East Kilbride has a lovely cafe

Runnerduck

mrsh, glad you had a nice day x

BZ ive never had clomid but the ivf drugs left me very bloated and uncomfortable, and very emotional too.

tea_lover

bigzippy wrote: »

Definitely getting more painful with each cycle too though, but then I do have the combo of endo, pcos & fibromyalgia that will also be having an effect.:cool:

I have endo and pcos (no fibromyalgia) and it does take its toll. Doesn't help of course that most fertility drugs are awful for endo. I've definitely noticed a deterioration over the last year or so. I'd been ok-ish since my last lap in 2010, but the pain and symptoms are pretty bad again now again months of clomid & buserelin. It feels like there's a big tight band around my bowel - which I'm sure you all wanted to know! Pretty sure that the next lot of icsi drugs aren't going to help matters. But hey, needs must.

Thanks for all the thoughts and well-wishes. OH all over the place, not surprisingly. It breaks my heart seeing him so upset and knowing there's nothing I can do.

bigzippy wrote: »

Did you manage to put to rest all the things that were said when he was drunk?

Pretty much. We're definitely getting there. We'd sorted some stuff out and were both feeling happier. Obviously now I just want to do what I can to support him, so all talk of TTC/icsi/work stress etc will have to wait a while.

bigzippy

I'm an unreasonably massive amount of upset that my Gp is leaving. He treated and knew mil, he's dh's gp too, he's been my gp for maybe 8 years and the idea of having to explain all the health crap, the infertility, losing mil, etc etc, just makes it feel so much bigger and more unbearable again.

We had both imagined the day we'd be able to go see him and tell him we were finally pregnant, and now that's not gonna happen, which makes it feel like getting pregnant's never gonna happen either. Logically I know it's just a guy moving jobs, but to us it feels like we just keep losing our supports, one by one.

Is it ridiculous? It sounds ridiculous even to me, but dh is really upset too. And I just feel lost. and betrayed. And abandoned. And like other people have stolen the pregnancies I should've had. That I could've then shared with mil, with the gp, with the fantasies I'd built up and dreamed, in my head.