The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

bigzippy

Good luck vk

T2d, I can understand that mentality. I have found it much easier to be open about ttc since finding out my tubes were blocked, cos at the time we were told no chance but ivf, so that's essentially what I said when people made comments etc. It made me tell my family and dh's too, cos I was having the surgery and we didn't think it right to not tell them about that.

The secrecy is important at the beginning I think, but when you get to the point us guys are at, it drives you more bonkers than people knowing. I think when they're know you're struggling and getting medical distance, other than the odd flippant/misinformed comment, they're more likely to be supportive and less likely to put their foot in it.


Today has, thankfully, been a better day. Thanks for your support yesterday ladies

Peonie

I think it depends on who you tell. For me I don't want the gossips to talk about me at work. And they do list all the women who can't have children. With the support I have on here, Mr P and a couple of family members I don't need to talk about it with anyone else.

bigzippy

Peonie wrote: »

I think it depends on who you tell. For me I don't want the gossips to talk about me at work. And they do list all the women who can't have children. With the support I have on here, Mr P and a couple of family members I don't need to talk about it with anyone else.

In fairness, I don't have work colleagues to nosey about in my business. I almost only see people I've chosen to spend time with, so from that angle I don't get so much grief to begin with...

My friends got married very recently and mentioned something on facebook and the wife being lost for something to do - loads of the fb friends have replied that they should now have babies and that will solve it. (which it's annoying enough in it's own right) I had to wince with every comment like that though, because I know it's impossible for them to have kids They've been blatant about it with me, but it can't be common knowledge for all those people to be banging on about it. It makes me sad that a) people behave like that b) that's actually "normal" and if I hadn't been on this journey, I might not have realised how offensive that stuff can be. :cool:

Whattodonow

Wow. People can be so thoughtless.

tea_lover

BZ - I know you read the Nuts in May blog too. This thread reminded me of a recent blog post along similar lines - about how people should just keep their traps shut about having kids as people will either have decided they don't want them/don't want them yet, or they're having problems having them, or they're not in a position relationship-wise or financially etc. Obviously May put it brilliantly as ever.

The bit about running up to a homeless guy and shouting "houses are great, you should try it" really did make me lol. People just have no idea how insensitive they're being. I love that blog
http://nutsinmay.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/

I've told a few more people lately. It was a big secret for years but it was seriously doing my head in. I told my parents when I handed my notice in as it was a big part of the decision process, plus I didn't think I could do something as big as ivf without telling them. I work with a nurse and I told her the other day as I was worried about the injections. A few of my friends know, and my homegroup. Heavens, when I write it all down it looks like there isn't anyone that doesn't know!! Although from the lack of interest from my OH in the whole process you could think he didn't know :mad:.

tea_lover

vk - any news??

ETA: TTC40 - I'm 34 (as of last week) and feel about 75 if that helps!

bigzippy

Yep, I think of that blog too tea, and the homeless bit made me laugh too!

an9i77

TTC40 wrote: »

At the risk of sounding like I'm at school - am I the oldest (TTCer) on here?

Just had a quick look at the ages on the other thread & I think I might be. I'm 41 - in my mind I'm 31, just a shame my body is not in the same place?

Not that it matters - women older than me have got pg.

After starting my Clomid a day late, FS said just carry on & finish a day late. Maybe it will make the difference.

VK - hope we see the back of you tomorrow!

Mrsh - hope you are managing some relaxation

Hi TTC40 - with clomid I'm not sure it matters when you take it so long as it's not later than the 5th day of the cycle, my GP originally said take it days 2-6 but I later found out I could take it later, days 5-9. Although if you're later than that I 'm sure it will be ok if your FS said.

Last month I took it days 5-9 rather than 2-6 and I got lucky, so who knows if it may help taking it later!

Incidentally I'm not young either - pushing 36.

time2deal

bigzippy wrote: »

Yep, I think of that blog too tea, and the homeless bit made me laugh too!

Hmmmm. Note to self, stop telling people who rent that they really should buy as it's much more rewarding...youd think I would have more understanding that things are not always that easy for everyome!

BZ. I appreciate the ongoing attempt to comment on my blog, but still coming up blank I think!

Ttc, im 36. Started ttc at a sprightly 33 though, so cant really blame my age

Derby2

Whattodonow wrote: »

I can't believe I'm still trying nearly two years later (and I know that's only a short period compared to others). Sometimes I just think, I did not imagine this would ever happen. What is going on? And I wish, if I'm never going to get pregnant, I could just be told right now, so I don't have to go through this for however many more years to come.

I absolutely agree with this-I feel like I've spent the last 4 years in limbo swinging between being convinced it'll happen one day to convinced it won't. I do wish I could know one way or another

TTC40-I'm about to turn 34, so no spring chicken either (and besides...my AMH is so low you may as well add another decade onto that in terms of fertility!).

I've 'come out' about my TTC and IVF since my miscarriage, because I feel the need to explain to people that when they say it happened once it can happen again, that actually for some of us it's a little more complicated than that. I just don't want the pressure of people thinking I'm going to fall pg again just like that...I've had years to come to terms with disappointment, so they all need to catch up!

It's been a bit up and down for me today as it should have been our 12 week scan, so as a positive I've ordered a BBT thermometer and have decided to start temping. I've never done it before because of my early mornings and the fact I don't normally sleep well, but I think I need to feel like I'm doing something different. I've also started taking more suppliments to hopefully improve my egg quality for when we start IVF and am contemplating accupunture.

What's everyone else taking? I'm currently on...

Agnus Castus
Bcomplex
EPO
Pregnacare
Royal Jelly
CQ10 thingymabob

And I think that's it and reading this back I think there is a certain level of hysterical desperation in my voice . Well, at least taking these pills make for interesting coloured pee...