The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Whattodonow

Hello all,

time2deal - me and my OH kept all the trying quiet from everyone but when hospital appointments started we decided to tell our parents. It was actually a huge relief, and does help (although the revelation that my mom had spent 7 years trying for me was a bit annoying, I wish she had told me this years ago!). I'm glad you told your sister. A female ear can sometimes be more understanding, plus it's good to talk to someone not involved (I don't always want to upset my OH when he is OK and I'm not).

Derby2 wrote: »

when are you having kids' comments at Christmas!

argh! I feel your pain!

Welcome Lilymay. CD1 is the worst. The girls on here are brilliant. I hope your stay is short (in a nice way) xxx

AFM:
Sorry I haven't been around as much. Head in sand time for a while again. However, we had our follow up appointment yesterday from blood tests and ultrasound yest so time to deal with the reality. Ultrasound was ok. But my AMH score was 11.6 so on the low side. I cried in the consulting room. I know there are much lower scores out there, but it felt like finally we had an answer to what was going wrong and it all felt very real. So now I have to have a tube xray (can't remember the tech names), and if thats all clear, 4-5 months of clomid before IVF.

It was my OH's bday yesterday as well! Bad timing!

It's hard to come to terms with.

What I'm wondering is, how does low AMH effect month to month fertility? Does it mean I won't produce an egg every month, or that I will but low quality ones?

They also want me to put on a stone to get in the green BMI zone. I have never been able to put weight on! I don't think I'm unhealthly thin (and my cellulite would probably agree!) but I suppose I'll have to start gorging. Bring on Xmas...

bigzippy

Welcome lilymay :wave: hopefully you'll get answers that make sense to you, come december. I don't understand how you have such regular cycles but don't ovulate either, but if you don't ovulate then you don't produce a corpus luteum which produces progesterone, which would make more sense? It's confusing for me, and it's not happening to me, so you must be climbing the walls about now... :cool:

Wtdn, do you have regular cycles? I wish I could give you my excess stone, save you the hassle :cool:

Derby, the initial shock is awful, but the hope kicks back in... To some degree or another... All the very best with this new phase of your journey hope the paperwork on your desk isn't getting too soggy


Cd12 and cbfm still says high, but the line is getting noticeably paler, which - irrc - means estrogen is dipping ready for LH surge, right? It'll be kind of fascinating to see how the cbfm measures up against the predictions drawn from the follicular taking scan tomorrow...

Of course, because I should be able to find out exactly when I'm ovulating this month, and we have a renewed vigour after all the faffing with abstinence and recovery for/from tests, Hope has obviously got in my ear and decided this has surely, got to be, The Month... And then Brain runs away with itself and that notion, and decides that it would make me 8 ish weeks at christmas and make that whole christmas thing more bearable, and see me maybe telling my parents the good news, between dashing to the loo for morning sickness, etc etc etc :cool: I really don't want to come crashing down again and really want to be able to turn my brain off! :cool: and really want it to turn out like that it would be much more of a positive start to 2013 than last year -with Mil's stroke/heart attack/renal failure/sepsis clusterbomb of sad & stress :cool::o

I did feel bloaty the other day though, from the clomid I'm guessing, and when I moaned my friend said she'd actually thought I'd lost more weight cos I looked skinny! Hurrah (I think she just got used to seeing me in unflattering scuffs post-op but DH says I suck at receiving compliments ) Got ID'd the same day (I'm 30) though, and the woman said "must be nice to look so young", so I'll take that as a win )

lilymay1

Thanks Zippy,

Yeah, her theory about me not ovulating sounded like rubbish to me too. I get all the symptoms, including a temp rise. I think the problem is hormone related (I think I ov too late and my LP is too short) or internal damage as a result of my surgery. My consultant wasn't intetested in either of those theories last time I saw her though. I think the fact I am 25 and have been perfectly fertile before works against me in that respect.

Anyway, as you say, we'll see what Decemer holds. You are right though, not knowing why I can't conceive is worse than AF arriving every month

Fingers crossed Clomid works for you though - are you feeling more hopeful now?

WTDN - Is it an HSG you have to have? Sounds like it from your description. Hope you get an appointment soon.

bigzippy

lilymay1 wrote: »

Thanks Zippy,

Yeah, her theory about me not ovulating sounded like rubbish to me too. I get all the symptoms, including a temp rise. I think the problem is hormone related (I think I ov too late and my LP is too short) or internal damage as a result of my surgery. My consultant wasn't intetested in either of those theories last time I saw her though. I think the fact I am 25 and have been perfectly fertile before works against me in that respect.

Anyway, as you say, we'll see what Decemer holds. You are right though, not knowing why I can't conceive is worse than AF arriving every month

I think when you don't get the logic behind something a doctor tells you it just makes you even more frustrated than having something wrong in the first place.

Fingers crossed Clomid works for you though - are you feeling more hopeful now?

Thanks
Yes, but dangerously so.:o I have too much invested in this cycle. But being hopeful about my chances now they've fettled about with my innards & the clomid too doesn't reduce the chances. And I'd rather be optimistic than down in the dumps, convinced that 'I'm going to IVF anyway so what's the point', and who knows - PMA may help more than negativity. Yes, I'll be disappointed if it's just BFNs, but I can't be as blas! as I was before the lap when I knew there was no chance, so... :cool:

WTDN - Is it an HSG you have to have? Sounds like it from your description. Hope you get an appointment soon.

Sounded like it to me too. Just to let you know that it's not as freaky as you might think, WTDN. I wound myself up about it, but it wasn't as horrid as I'd worried about.

There's a blogged description here if you want it http://nutsinmay.wordpress.com/2007/03/13/ (she only has one tube and one ovary btw) My experience was similar, but without the dye going through the tubes at all and with more faffing with IV buscopan, incase they were spasming - and even with all that it was still fine. Don't sneeze or laugh while the speculum's in though And take ibuprofen half hr before your appointment, is my advice.

Whattodonow

Hi BigZ, Lilymay

Yup its the HSG (read the letter again just before). Got to ring up on first day of my period to book it in. The way the doc said it, it sounded like i'd get it done that same cycle, but the departments don't seem to really talk to each other much so who knows! Already got my letter from the hospital after yesterday's appointment - end of Feb. ARGH! Do they not realise time is precious! I guess if everything's ok with xray i'll be joining you on clomid BigZ. I'll be following your progress I remember you saying you 'freaked out' about HSG ... I'll click that link now....

ps, yes lets swap stones! I have bang-on regular periods so don;t think its actually an issue. But I think i'll have to get to that green zone for IVF.

Whattodonow

ooh thanks for ibuprofen advice xx

lilymay1

Whattodonow wrote: »

Hi BigZ, Lilymay

Yup its the HSG (read the letter again just before). Got to ring up on first day of my period to book it in. The way the doc said it, it sounded like i'd get it done that same cycle, but the departments don't seem to really talk to each other much so who knows! Already got my letter from the hospital after yesterday's appointment - end of Feb. ARGH! Do they not realise time is precious! I guess if everything's ok with xray i'll be joining you on clomid BigZ. I'll be following your progress I remember you saying you 'freaked out' about HSG ... I'll click that link now....

ps, yes lets swap stones! I have bang-on regular periods so don;t think its actually an issue. But I think i'll have to get to that green zone for IVF.

Hopefully your appointment comes through quickly, although my consultant said all of the above to me and my HSG was done almost 3 months to the day after I saw her. My hospital does 2 clinics a month and is very busy. The waiting list is huge.

Looks like clomid is the next step for all 3 of us - I am hoping I get my prescription before i start my next cycle....!

TTC40

Welcome Lily.

WTDN - I had HSG & found it only a little more uncomfortable than a smear. I too took ibruprofen before I went in. Also, take a sanitary pad.

AFM - CD12 today (on Clomid). Tried to do OPK this morning but something went wrong & I couldn't wee more! Anyway, did a test tonight & got a smiley.

The FS had told us to be 'active' from days 12-14 & not bother with OPKs (ignored that).

So active we will be tonight!

TTC40

BZ - hope your follicles are looking good today!

We BD'd last night. Then this morning OH said 'do you want my body again then?' Who said romance is dead?

Anyway, I did - although a bit more effort on his part by cleaning his teeth first would have been good!

Got another smiley on OPK this morning.

Doing my bit for CiN today - may next year I'll have a one (hopefully just the child, not in need).

Have a great weekend everyone.

lilymay1

TTC - Good effort on the BDing!

Had clomid moved ovulation for you? The thought of gettig a smiley on CD13 makes me go all weak on at knees! Haha. What dose are you on?