The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

bigzippy

Hope sneaks out at me, jumps on my back and pummels me into submission when I read things like "in well selected cases, clomiphene helps ovulation in 80% of patients - of these around half become pregnant" and then "Approximately 75% of pregnancies that do occur on clomiphene do so in the first three treatment cycles"

Pleeeeease let that be me

And then I scald myself for thinking about it, for wondering if I'll get the illusive magical bfp that would make Christmas more bearable, for considering whether morning sickness would change my plans, for thinking I would be heavily pregnant just before the heat of summer this way, with this timing...and give us a child of our own to dote on and bring next Christmas to life...

And yet, despite the heartache, the miserable ttc downs, the scalding... I still think it.

:cool::o

Derby2

Second iui abandoned due to thin lining: next stop Ivf. Just sitting in my car having a cry before going to work. I'm going through the it's not fair stage at the moment....t

time2deal

Derby2 wrote: »

Second iui abandoned due to thin lining: next stop Ivf. Just sitting in my car having a cry before going to work. I'm going through the it's not fair stage at the moment....t

Sorry to hear that Derby. It's so unfair and so sad and so lonely. You just want to scream sometimes.

Have a good cry, and you know you will be ready for the next step when it happens. My IVF clinic puts lots of baby pictures on the wall of their successes, it gives me hope that getting to IVF is just step closer to having a baby, not a step further away.

hugs.

bigzippy

Derby2 wrote: »

Second iui abandoned due to thin lining: next stop Ivf. Just sitting in my car having a cry before going to work. I'm going through the it's not fair stage at the moment....t

That's cos it isn't fair. Cry, scream, break plates, punch pillows, let it out. You'll get there, but I'm the meantime it hurts, it sucks, and I'm sorry.

TeamLowe

lots of love Derby, be thinking of you x x
i do think IVF gets a bad rap, yes it doesn't always work but our graduates if not anything shows that it really can and be the answer to your dreams

BigZ i'm with you on the hoping front, can't seem to stop myself every cycle from convincing myself i'm up the duff when really i'mn lucky if i ovulate at all x x

Primmer

Derby - I am so sorry, sending lots of hugs your way, there is nothing wrong with feeling "its not fair". Hope you managed to get to work ok. Thinking of you.

BZ - don't think it matters how long we have been ttcing for or what treatments etc we go through, we always hope that we will get pg. When you want something so badly, sometimes hope is all you have to get you through the rough times.

jujugaboo

Thinking of you QQ, hope your doing ok.

Big hugs Derby, life is crappy at times but have a good cry dust yourself off and start again.

BZ - never stop dreaming one day it could become a reality.

T2D - its good to talk, I spoke to all my friends and family and they were really supportive over the IVFs. Try not to get too stressed. I too had very little eggs and DH poor and little sperm but it can work in the end it just takes a bloody long time (sometimes).

Hugs all around. xx

EverTheOptimist

Hugs Derby, sorry to hear what's happened to you.

I had 3 failed IUI's, in some ways i wish we had been able to go straight to the IVF, the IUI's really got my hope up. I know its a massive step going for IVF, but i want to say try and stay positive.

I am a success story of IVF, it took a MC from a fresh cycle and a failed frozen cycle, before we had our recent successful fresh cycle. So I am definitely an advocate of IVF. We were lucky (if you can call it that) that all 3 cycles were done within 10 months so i was able to stay positive as i didnt feel like the wait between treatments dragged on.

I really hope you are as lucky as we were.

Derby2

Good morning everyone.

Thank you so, so much for all your loevly comments; it really is so helpful to have people out there that understand and much as I love hubby, it's not quite the same!

time2deal-That's a brilliant positive attitude towards IVF, and now that this second disappointment has passed (slightly!) I'm feeling much more positive. The fact that I have a low AMH means that we will move straight to the top of the IVF list for NHS, so it's good they have found out I have a problem and can deal with it appropriately.
I've not yet told my family all the bad news but I think we will do so now we're on IVF. My sister has just had a baby and knows about us trying but not the problems we're having. I'm hoping it will help telling them about it...at least it should stop all the 'when are you having kids' comments at Christmas!

BZ: I always have that glimmer of hope too in spite knowing the chances are so rediculously slim now of us falling pg naturally. I was trying to explain to DH last night that while he thinks about us (not)having a baby when something is actually happening i.e. an appointment or something, I have to be in this blasted body and I cannot help even now picking up on every little twinge, ache, change in CM, boob changes and hoping that the miracle has happened. I just cannot help it as much as I try not to! It is seriously rubbish being a girl sometimes!

Anyhoo, I'd better get to work. I work with mostly men and can't tell them what's going on, and it's interesting to watch them panic every time I'm crying at my desk for no apparent reason!

EverTheOptimist: it's good to hear positive success stories with IVF and I need to keep reminding myself it's the beginning of a new phase of fertility treatment and not the end.

lilymay1

Good Morning ladies,

I hope you don't mind me joining but this is now CD1 of cycle 13 for me and I feel like this board is more suited to where I am at.

I know some of the people here already know my story but i'll just recap. First m/c in 2009. My daughter was born at full term but passed away 3 days after her birth in October 2010. My son was born mostly healthy in October 2011 via c-section. I was very ill during the operation and am still convinced this is in someway related to my infertility.
I have a bicornuate uterus, not that it's effected my fertility before. Cycles are around 28/29 days. Ovulation is anywhere between CD19 and CD21. Usual luteal phase is 7-10 days.
I've tried temping/OPK's/fertility monitor etc etc etc but OH and I are fairly ' active' anyway.

Was first referred to the hospital after my CD21 tests came back with ridiculously low progesterone. Saw my consultant in eary August. Had an HSG done last week which appeared fine. Waiting to see my consultant again in December where the next step for me is clomid. That said, I am 99% certain lack of ovulation is not my issue so I am intending on asking for more diagnostic tests in addition to clomid.

That's pretty much everythig I can think of right now. I am feeling very upset as today is CD1