The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

lisawood78

Hi BZ,
Money and hubbies work. At over £5k a round with all my immune treatments/e-scratch etc it takes a while to get the money together. Hubby works in Germany all week every week and he can't afford the time off now until the New Year to be here for at least for some of it.
First child, TTC over 10 years and I'm 34. It's been a long long road

EDIT TO ADD
When I enquired about getting my remaining tube cleared, before I lost it due to my second ectopic the Dr pretty much told me as my tube was closed by adhesions, even opening it would be pretty pointless as they are so small and sensitive to damage. Of course if they are blocked by fluid or something else then the situation may be different. My tubes were in an awful condition though, due to probable Chlamydia infection in my youth. So all my own fault it seems, but I can't change it

bigzippy

Lisa, that's a long old road I hope your January cycle gives you your much deserved happy ending

Yeah I looked into the whole tubes thing last night some more, cos it was bugging me. One site told me that the internal diameter of the tubes are similar to that of a fine pin...:shocked: and they're really easy to damage. They're an organ rather than just a tube, too, which I didn't quite realise. So, based on where my blockages are, no wonder they can't fix mine :cool:

I needed to make sense of it in my head though, so I could stop that small part of me that was hoping the well-wishers were right with their "you never know..."s.

It sparked a proper conversation about it all, for me and DH, last night though. Talked about what we were and weren't comfortable with going ahead with - at least, for the moment.

For some reason that I can't quite explain, the idea of freezing (& thawing) my embryos just doesn't sit right with me. One reason is because at the moment we think we'll only try for one biological child, and then if we're lucky enough to get that, we'll probably move on to fostering/adopting for any siblings (we've always talked along similar lines, regardless of the fertility issues, adopting/fostering after x biological children). If we had more than one embryo, but only one (I'm working on the basis that I've read they tend to only put one back in when you're under 35) put back, then the others are frozen. If by some miracle I got lucky with that first one, I would feel obliged to keep going with ivf treatments til I'd tried all the other embryos too. I couldn't have embryos out there that I hadn't used, iyswim? That feels like a masive thing/obligation/commitment to a heart wrenching, not to mention expensive, process... I don't know of I'm making any sense here, or if it only makes some kind of sense in my head?? :huh::o

At this point I/we feel like the (more) "natural" protocol ivf is the one we'd feel more comfortable with... And if our NHS Assisted Conception unit doesn't offer options to do it in a way that we're comfortable with, we'll probably end up going straight to a private clinic.

I don't know how much sense any of that made, but I needed to get in out of my head, I guess?

lisawood78

Hi BZ. The more natural IVF is what I think QQ has had, it's a lot less aggressive than standard IVF I believe but know little else about it i'm afraid.

The little part of you that says, well you never know never goes away totally, I still get a symptom or 2 one month and think Ooooh what if! Which is ridiculous of course.
As for freezing embryos, yes that makes sense, simply 'disposing' of them when you have the result you want seems like a very hard thing to do. You are right with the under 35's protocol, I have 2 put back each time now but that is due to repeated failures. Embryo storage itself isn't too expensive, and a years storage is included in you IVF treatment (at least at the 2 clinics i've been treated at, both private and NHS) but I can see the feelings they could create if you didn't want to use them but felt you should.

I really hope you get the answers and in future the result you want, it really is a crap journey to go down but i'm glad you've had a good talk about it and kknow a little more what you would like to happen.
Stay strong and keep talking, to us and your OH!

bigzippy

I'm glad it seemed to make sense to someone!

It was QQ taking about it that made me aware of that kind of protocol. I know the main draw back with it is that you only tend to produce one egg so potentially only one (not guaranteed) embryo, but if I can't/won't have more than that put back in (and I don't want to freeze any) then it doesn't seem so much of a drawback...? And I know it's cheaper and seems a much less stressful protocol, emotionally and physically...??

Afaik, there's nothing else wrong with us than the PCOS and blocked tubes, so if we can get s'perm to meet egg, in a little petri dish somewhere, and then popped back in where it was supposed to get to without the roadblock, then I should still have the same chance as a normal conception??

Now, I have a question that may sound daft... is it possible for the s'perm to meet the egg (in a petri dish somewhere), get on and have fun getting up close and personal, without having the big old needle piercing the egg to put the s'perm in there? Or does that always (need to?) happen with ivf?? :huh::o or is that just ICSI that happens with?? :huh::o

Part_Mouse

Morning all

Lisa what a long journey you have been on , I hope you get your happy ending in Jan.

Hi BZ.

Day 3 of stopping smoking for me.Still trying to get over the bronchities and then back o the gym for me. DH wants to give it a bit of time before starting Clomid/Tamoxaafin again which I understand as we've just got married but equally I know I have zero natural fertility and really want to get started started again.

Hope everyone is well.

xx

lisawood78

That's ICSI BZ, only used if the sperm are of poor qualitty, or there are motility issues or quantity problems. If eggs and sperm and all perky and as should they stick them together in the old petri dish and let them get jiggy together :-)

I think natural IVF is 'easier' (not knocking the enormity of it of course!) than the 'normal' type of IVF, less drugs etc, and I think you can do it closer together also, with IVF they like you to have a break between tries, 2-3 cycles depending on clinic (and on how you feel yourself!)

AFAIK if you have no other issues then once they pop a good quality fertilised embryo in then the chances are really good, the chances can be around 40% depending on situation/clinic etc (lots of affecting factors of course)

When is your next appt, is that to see the surgeon?


Keep strong Part Mouse, great stuff on the smoking front!

bigzippy

Oh good. The needle going into the egg was also (for some reason?!) freaking me out.

I think, for me right now with my limited knowledge, I'd be much happier with "natural"/mild protocol ivf. I can just about get my head around that... Atm

My next appointment is for the pre-op, on the 1st Oct. Then surgery on the 12th Oct (which I just had a nightmare/very weird dream about ). Other than that, I've no idea when I'll see FS next. - although she'll be doing my surgery...?? I'm thinking if I have a just of questions at my pre-op, the nurse will either a) have the answers b) find them out for me c) tell me who can answer them/when...

I did not like that dream though. Felt like I was being suffocated by the anaesthetist (i have a cold atm) and like I was awake for bits of it (i have cramps and cd1 today). Then a fight broke out in the recovery room!! :shocked::o

:wave: part mouse. Hope you're better soon. Dh quit 2years ago and it feels like another life now! Keep going!

pinkteapot

Hi all

I'm a long-time lurker on this thread as MrTeapot and I have been TTC since June 2011.

We've been to our GP and done the initial round of tests that he ordered (blood tests galore and a little plastic pot test for MrTeapot). With the results of those all in (and nothing found to be wrong), the GP said they'd refer us - first step in fertility help/treatment.

I'm a bit confused because I've had a letter through with an appointment and it says the hospital department is gynaecology. Is this normal? I expected a fertility clinic, but do you see gynae first to make doubly sure there's nothing obviously wrong?

Just wondering as if it is just a gynae appointment it doesn't seem that there's any need for MrTeapot to come along(???). I assume they'll be more interested in my side of things?

If we end up going to a fertility clinic or anything then obviously he'd come, but conscious that this may be ahead of us it's awkward for him to get out of work for hospital appointments and so if there's no need for him to be at this one then I'll go by myself....

How did the process start for you?

fluffnutter

bigzippy wrote: »

Afaik, there's nothing else wrong with us than the PCOS and blocked tubes, so if we can get s'perm to meet egg, in a little petri dish somewhere, and then popped back in where it was supposed to get to without the roadblock, then I should still have the same chance as a normal conception??

TBH, you have a slightly better chance. All other things equal, IVF has a better chance of resulting in a successful pregnancy than one cycle of trying the usual way.

QQuaver

chickpea wrote: »

TTC40+ QQ - sorry for CD1. I had the same situation this month QQ - for the first time in ages, we missed OV - combination of staying at parents' house, illness, hangover and extreme 'couldn't be bothered'! Was still surprised at CD01 though.

Me too:o

Anyway - celebrating (not!) our 3 year 'TTC-versary' this month. The CB digi test I bought optimistically has just passed its use by date. Won't be wasting my money on another one though!

Similar to me then, my mc was Aug 2009:o
My Digi went out of date last year:rotfl:
Perhaps I could just source a battery:think:

Primmer wrote: »

Lisa - got call this afternoon and had to take trigger !!!! at 6.30pm today and EC is at 7.30am on Wednesday under sedation.

Aww... good luck:j

Bigzippy, I had 'natural' IVF, but with Femara (similar to clomid) as otherwise I'd be waiting forever to ov:D I did have a full blown IVF before though, with injections and everything:cool:

Those injections are very expensive.
How do you feel about egg sharing if you are going private?
I'd have done it if I were young enough:o

Good thing about PCOS is you'll most probably end up with multiple eggs. I know you don't like the idea of having 10 kids just because you have some frozen:D

Egg transfer is very easy, similar to HSG, but not painful:)
Takes similar time as well (10 mins?). So going back for them is not that difficult.

As for needles piercing eggs (ICSI), we had no choice as DH's SA was never good enough for IVF:o