The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

onestep

So very sorry QQ

QQuaver

Runnerduck wrote: »

(((hugs))) QQuaver, so sorry it's bad news, hope you're clinic will let you move quickly, if that's what you want, i know with me the only way i cope is by focusing on the next one, fingers crossed that will be the ONE xxx

I don't know if that's what I want:huh:

I think I wanted to try au naturale for few months then restart again in Dec, but I'm not getting any younger, and with PCOS, this medicated cycle may have reset my hormones and may make better eggs next cycle, in which case it's not a bad idea to try again.

If this fails, then we'll go au naturale until Dec:cool:

2ba3c wrote: »

Hello all,

Well I'm CD47 and STILL no period. I took Soy this month on CD2-6, never got a positive on the CBFM or OPKs, saw a faint line though What's happened to my period, any ideas? I have taken lots of negative HPTs on the off chance, nothing!

I thought soy was supposed to almost guarantee you ovulating - a bit like chlomid?

There's no guarantees to any medications or supplements:o
Some people don't ov with Clomid either. Getting the dosage right is difficult:(

Looks like your body didn't like Soy:(

So frustrating as when I get my period, I need to go and get some tests.

(((hugs))).
Have you considered a proper IUI with donor sperm?
They can do it with clomid too?

TTC40

When you say au naturale, do you mean without any intervention at all?

Are you and OH going to be in the same country? It helps!

QQuaver

TTC40 wrote: »

When you say au naturale, do you mean without any intervention at all?

Yep:D
With temps, OPKs, CBFM, Preseed and feet up the wall after BD if you must know:p

Are you and OH going to be in the same country? It helps!

During the summer, yes.
Should be able to fit 2 ovs:cool:

TTC40

That's good news & thanks for the extra information!

Hope he's ready for you!

staffiecat

Hello everyone, so many new names on here! Welcome, hi, hope your not here for long :wave:

QQ really sorry about your BFN hun.

QQuaver wrote: »

Yep:D
With temps, OPKs, CBFM, Preseed and feet up the wall after BD if you must know:p

Story of our lives, hey !

I've been lurking in between working trips so responding from memory here!
Countrybum and sillysausage, huge congrats
Bigzippy, I think someone else mentioned that your bleeding could be related to your weight loss and I agree with that. Well done on losing that weight btw but remember that your body is adjusting and it will upset your cycle. Hope it sorts itself out soon tho!
2ba3c ((hugs)) for long cycle!
Chickpea, Runner, Juju - hope your all well
LW78, really pleased that you have taken a decision on your next steps and good luck !

AFM - long story!
I had my 34th birthday recently and the very next day commisserated 3 years since my mc. Even now I find it hard. Our referral appt for IVF came through and we met with them last week. To recap, drs had told me I had PCOS and a bicornuate uterus. Last year I had lap and they removed a polyp, found a cyst (which they weren't concerned about), removed scarring and drilled my ovaries.

Fast forward to my first consultation appt with IVF clinic and they told me that even without a scan they are convinced that I do not have PCOS and therefore I should not have had my ovaries drilled :eek::eek::eek: They booked me in superfast for a scan and as usual my right ovary hid for a long time but eventually the nurse confirmed that I do not have PCOS. To top that, my fsh level (on day 3 testing) has now risen to a level (12) which my clinic view as being 'very high' and therefore talked at length about my now low ovarian reserve, the likelihood that I would understimulate during IVF and my reduced chances of any success. Cue tears.

They are still prepared to take me down the IVF journey but they won't treat me if my fsh levels rise any further. Apparently I will need aggressive treatment - whatever the hell that means but they were encouraged by the fact that I have fallen pregnant in the past (although they all say that), albeit 3 years ago ending in mc.

TBH I am shocked but not shocked - does that make sense. Over the last 12 months I have had this overwhelming feeling that this journey is not going to result in a child for me and DH. I know that we have the option of using a donor egg if I can't produce eggs but I would still need to grieve not having my own baby. I am of course very very angry that my local hospital consultant proceeded to drill my ovaries when I do not have PCOS - and ultimately affect my reserve. Have done as much research as I can and I can't find any material on drilling taking place on women without PCOS. DH wants to write a complaint but I don't feel I have the strength left in me - its been 5 years guys of going through this, how much more can we take !

Anyway, I waited until I was feeling a little better before writing this update - so the tears are dried up and now I am focusing on being as healthy as I can. I have read about DHEA but consultant hasn't recommended anything but I think I will seek accupuncture. Already had my trial embryo transfer which went well. They mentioned that I had a lovely uterus, and not bicornuate (!) - why is it when nurses mention that your lady bits are 'lovely' that you feel proud :rotfl:DH's results were fabulous so he is extremely happy with himself!

Anyway, sorry for the ramble - its nice to be able to write these things down !!!! Lots of love and hugs
xx

bigzippy

Staffie cat, thanks for that. Yes, nicki mentioned something about the weightloss being to blame, and having read a little around the subject I do feel more reassured now. I guess if my posture had to adjust to a new centre of gravity, it's only fair my hormones (which were up the creek because of weight-exacerbated pcos in the first place) would go into a tailspin...! :cool: I hadn't realised how much I was worrying about having endo, until I came across/was presented with an alternative theory

As for your journey, I really feel for you. I completely understand the anger and betrayal etc that you must feel with regards to the previous consultant and treatment, and the lack of fight left to complain about it. I've found myself in a couple of similar (but not gynae etc related!) situations recently, and can fully empathise. :cool: I get to the point where I want someone else to be my PA so they can deal with it all for me!

So, do they basically now say that there's nothing wrong with you other than the fsh/ovarian reserve level? No womb etc issues?

QQ, very sorry to hear about your BFN

Congratulations to Maire though, if she's still lurking?!

I've been lurking mostly, not feeling like I have much to contribute/update as I've just been bleeding forever! started feeling rather anaemic though, so upped the iron intake now and also started taking vitamin b complex in the hope it might help even out my obviously wonky hormone levels :cool: I guess my body also hasn't recovered from all the stresses and stains (Mil dying etc) of the last 9 months either though, given that I'm feeling weaker than I have in possibly years, right now, and my joints are protesting too - to the point that dh (accidentally!) dislocated my wrist whilst helping me up today _pale_:o (I have some health conditions that make this more common than it should be )

I did try posting the other day, replying to someone, but my phone lost the post and I couldn't bear to type it all again! can't remember who/what I was replying to now either!

*wave* to all, anyway. Hope you're all having significantly more BD than I've had the opportunity to have!

fluffnutter

staffiecat wrote: »

TBH I am shocked but not shocked - does that make sense. Over the last 12 months I have had this overwhelming feeling that this journey is not going to result in a child for me and DH. I know that we have the option of using a donor egg if I can't produce eggs but I would still need to grieve not having my own baby.

When I was (very gently) told that I was unlikely ever to conceive using my own eggs, I cried buckets. It feels overwhelming
and the idea that you need to grieve for your own baby is really true.

My consultant immediately raised the idea of egg donation, which I'd dismissed the day before when talking to my OH, and was really positive about it. I changed my mind, there and then. I just asked myself 'what do I want most in the world'? For years the answer had been 'a baby' and still was.

3 months later I was pregnant using a donor egg and the OH's sperm and from the moment I knew, it has been my baby. Honestly, the fact you're carrying it, and will give birth to it makes it yours 100%. There are things I needed to come to terms with, primarily about who and how to tell people, but this baby has never been anything other than mine.

Don't rule it out. I know you're exhausted, and angry about your misdiagnoses, but there are still options, and I'd hate to think your journey has been in vain x.

sarahs999

Hello all, and sorry to hear your difficult times Staffiecat, and all others who are suffering at the mo. I am back in the 2ww, 3dpo. Almost missed ov again this month - last month it was incredibly late, this month it's the earliest it's been in years. Think the steroids are definitely screwing me over. Now need to monitor myself when I come off them (if we've been unsuccessful) as last month I had some quite worrying symptoms of pain, lethargy adn fever, which you're only supposed to get if you're on them more than two weeks. I'd been on them 10 days, but I do wonder if they have a build up when you're taking them month after month. I've asked my consultant but he's been a bit crap really, just told me to try again and see if it happens this time. Duh. I could get paid £150 an hour to say that!

bigzippy

Sarah, I've had steroids completely mess with my cycles before now too. They don't agree with me either, and I seem to get the opposite of what you're supposed to when I'm on them, but feel much better after stopping them. I don't think your theory is inconceivable either. Good luck with the 2ww