The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

fluffnutter

miss_hh wrote: »

Thanks for replying. My oh has a really low sperm count (I cant remember what though) and we are advised our only option is ICSI. He has had several sperm analysis and each one was as bad as the other.
I have had a sterilisation but I have also had numerous tests and I am still fertile with everything in good order.

We are entitled to one treatment on the NHS. The hospital giving us our free NHS treatment also provides treatment privately so we will be using the same hospital which Im hoping will keep costs down.

I am 35 and my oh is 34. We have had our 1st app at the IVF centre and filled out all the application forms, I had an internal scan and also gave more bloods. We are now on the waiting list for treatment.

I just dont know what to expect.

In terms of IVF/ICSI? (It appears that you've had all the preliminary investigations and this is where you are now).

Would you like us to talk you through a typical IVF cycle?

miss_hh

Thanks for your reply. I am so excited yet nervous at the same time. I am afraid to get hopeful in case It fails and I cant cope with the disappointment.
Yes we have had all the preliminary investigations and it was explained to me what will happen but it was explained using terms I didnt understand and to be honest I was just excited to be told me would get treatment that I never took anything else in.

Yes could someone explain what a typical ICSI cycle involves? and also the emotional effects on your relationship?

fluffnutter

There are a number of ways that IVF/ICSI cycles are conducted, but the majority will involve you taking hormones for a while, followed by egg collection, fertilisation in the lab, then egg transfer a few days later. You'll then have the 'awful wait' until you take a test, which will be about 15 days after the egg collection (not transfer).

In more detail then... an 'antagonistic IVF cycle' (the most usual one AFAIK) involves:

When your period starts (you phone the clinic to confirm and they give you the go ahead) you'll start injecting yourself with drugs to boost your own hormone levels and to suppress your own ovulation (so that this can be subsequently triggered on a specific day). These are typically in 'pen form' and you'll be shown how to do this by the clinic. You typically inject into your tummy or thighs and it's easier than you think.

You do this for 10 days or so during which time you'll have to visit the clinic where they check how many follicles you're growing by giving you internal scans. These are painless and not as bad as having a smear.

When your follicles reach a certain size, they'll advise you of your egg collection date, and tell you to take the trigger injection at a specific time (36 hours before egg collection).

On egg collection day, you'll be sedated and they'll go up your mooer and collect the eggs from each ovary. You'll need a day or so off work. Whilst they're collecting your eggs, your OH will provide a sample.

The clinic will then bring the eggs and sperm together. In terms of IVF v ICSI, this is where the difference is. In IVF they just let them chill out in a petri dish together; in ICSI the andrologist selects the best sperm and injects them into the egg. It costs more (about an extra grand) but if you have low sperm count/motility it does increase the success rate. TBH, you might find you have little choice - we were just told that a decision would be made by the andrologist on the day .

The day after collection, the clinic will phone to let you know how many eggs have fertilised (on average it's about half of those collected). They then let them divide in the lab for a few days, then bring you back in for egg transfer. This is done with a thin catheter into your womb, you don't need to be sedated and it's painless (although can be a little uncomfortable as you need a full bladder and they squash down with an ultrasound scan to make sure they're in the right place).

You then bite your nails and symptom spot like crazy for a couple of weeks until you take the test.

IVF is hard, emotionally more so than physically. I won't pretend it isn't. In terms of the hormones, I had absolutely no effects from these whatsoever, although mood swings and queasiness can affect some women.

Emotionally it's brought me and the OH closer together but we do talk a lot and support each other. How it affects you will ultimately depend on your relationship anyway. Are you good together in a crisis or do you tend to fight/withdraw? If you're good together generally, you might find the extra closeness that fertility treatment brings (you really are going through the same thing) has a positive affect on your relationship. I did. In terms of disappointment if it doesn't work, I can't pretend that this doesn't hurt like hell (I had two failed attempts). But you get through it, promise.

You'll be talked through all of this a number of times, plus the clinic will give you stuff to read and plenty of opportunities to ask questions. Try not to be nervous. When it works it's the best thing in the world. I'm 31 weeks pregnant today and it's the best thing that I ever did.

miss_hh

Thanks Fluffnutter that is exactly what I wanted to know..the details..:)

It is the emotional side that Im worried about. In terms of our relationship - I believe talking through everything helps whilst my oh keeps everything in. We are close and he always supports me but sometimes I feel I am unable to support him as he holds everything back.

We are on the beginning of our ivf journey and we are both so excited. Hopefully in time we will be in your shoes, pregnant and advising others! 9 weeks to go good luck

Bluemeanie_2

Thanks Fluffnutter and miss hh for all your help! Fluffnutter "the mooer!" LMAO! Not looking forward to this.

I'm hoping I don't get to IVF stage (fingers crossed), but just thought I'd prepare for the worst! The worst thing for me is the feeling of being messed around with/clinical. I hate going Dentists, Docs, anywhere like that where other people operate or do things to you! I just try to relax!

Bluemeanie_2

miss hh , do you already have children? You are not eligible under my PCT if either of you already have kids.

miss_hh

Bluemeanie wrote: »

miss hh , do you already have children? You are not eligible under my PCT if either of you already have kids.

Sorry what is PCT?

Yes I have children though my Oh does not. I was surprised reading through some posts that other people that have children were refused IVF on the NHS. It really is a postcode lottery.

Bluemeanie_2

"Primary Care Trust". It really is a postcode lottery. I will resort to sharing my eggs for discounted IVF if I am eligible. I didn't want to egg share, because of the law change (I would if I could remain anonymous) but if needs must.

miss_hh

I read on another forum that once you are on the waiting list that you receive a confirmation letter which I havent. So I telephoned just to make sure I was actually on the list. I dont know why I was worrying!
The lady told me I was on the ICSI list and would get an offer letter in Nov 12 and most likely begin treatment in Jan 13! I was put on the waiting list on Jan 3rd 12.
Even just having approx dates has put a smile on my face. I cant wait to tell the hubby when he gets home.

Bluemeanie_2

miss_hh wrote: »

I read on another forum that once you are on the waiting list that you receive a confirmation letter which I havent. So I telephoned just to make sure I was actually on the list. I dont know why I was worrying!
The lady told me I was on the ICSI list and would get an offer letter in Nov 12 and most likely begin treatment in Jan 13! I was put on the waiting list on Jan 3rd 12.
Even just having approx dates has put a smile on my face. I cant wait to tell the hubby when he gets home.

That's fab news!