The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

mrshappy

Thank you fluffnutter for that brilliant explanation of the process!

I have been lurking on here for a while and this is my first proper post, so hello ladies :wave: lots of new names, and some familiar ones! I have been hanging about on the ttc thread, but recent events have had me looking over here.

A wee bit of background-I'm 39 and my OH is 48, I have a 15 year old son from a previous relationship and we have been trying for about a year now with no success. I have a very kind and understanding GP who referred us for testing after 6 months due to our ages and all the results have come back showing a big fat 0 in SA's. This is due to mrhappy carrying the cystic fybrosis gene and not developing essential tubing to carry the swimmers to where they need to get to. The FS we have seen is confident that mrh is producing sperm, so we are now looking at him having them surgically removed (PESA I think) and then IVF/ICSI. We weren't going to go down that route, but mrh feels that we would regret not trying all options at this stage. We aren't entitled to any treatment on the NHS as I have the teenager, which is very frustrating as if mrh had a partner without children already all treatment would be funded :mad:
Anyway, we have just started saving like mad and are hoping to get things moving in the next couple of months. I'm trying to arrange CF screening for myself through my GP, as if we are both carriers we will have another rethink!:o


So that's the last year of my life in a couple of paragraphs, it's nice to be here! x

chickpea

Welcome MrsH - there's some good news there, on with the bad!

It's good to get things kickstarted, hope the gene tests are propitious and you can get things moving in the right direction. Good luck!

jujugaboo

Welcome misshh and well done for getting ICSI on nhs when there is already a child in the mix. After 4 unsuccessful ICSIs if you need any further info please ask but fluff covered a lot.

Welcome MrsH my OH has sperm aspiration where they move the sperm from the testies for our ICSI so this maybe an option.

May both your stays be short.

I have had my chromosome tests results and everything appears to be normal. I had my very first dream the other night of me with my own baby, let's hope this is a sign. When AF arrives I am hoping we can do the FET next month.

Primmer

Juju - fingers crossed your dream comes true really soon.

MrsHappy - good that there are some options for you and hope things can get moving quickly for you.

Misshh - welcome to the thread.

bigzippy

:wave: Welcome MrsH I'm glad you're looking further into your options

The funeral's all booked in for next week now... I'm still feeling a bit lost.:cool::o

I still need to ring and rearrange the FS appointment. They told me they could only offer me a soonest rebooking of August or September, when I rang at least a week ago, so I wonder what their soonest date'll be now. :cool:

For now, I am at peace with waiting a little longer. I guess I've been rationalising that we would've found this last 6 months (whilst MIL has been in hospital/dying etc) much harder if we'd already either had our baby, or been pregnant: DH would've been stressed the the max about how the stress may've been affecting me and the baby, or we'd've had childcare issues, as well as worrying ourselves sick about MIL. So I guess I'm rationalising/hoping?/praying?? that this may be why we've not had our "turn" yet (along with the PCOS) - that God knew far better than us - and now this hospital hell with MIL is over, and once we've healed/grieved, we'll have more chance of having our baby(s) naturally...

Does that sound ridiculous?

Of course, one always tries to apply logic and reasoning where there may be none, but it's keeping me going for now... :cool::o

Besides, I have some more weight to lose, realistically, before we go back to the FS too - so the extra time will be good, and will take a little pressure off grieving/convenience/comfort eating I think we may just NTNP for a month or two while we're grieving too... :cool:

2ba3c

Doesn't sound ridiculous at all BZ, I am sorry for your and your families loss -you are in my thoughts xx

Egg sharing - when I had my meeting with the private fertility consultant at the Lister in London - even women with PCOS can egg share (I was suprised to hear that) though there are restrictions on weight and age,. not sure what though - as its not an option we have explored.

So we are at 12 months, DW and I are TTC - using a donor (I have PCOS). Except, spanner in the works - our amazing, good looking, kind, intelligent, flexible, fertile donor has just taken a job in Sweden and so our donor partnership will end. We have a (non bio) DS who is 4.... long story that one!!

I thought I would be more devastated about our donor leaving, as it took ages to find himn - but Im finding more and more that I feel more 'well it wasn't mean to happen with him'.

We've also got my first meeting with the gynea at the end of may and I was hoping to get Clomid for my PCOS - no use if we dont have the sperm *glum*

I don't know what we will do - maybe self fund on the NHS, but even then its money we dont really have... hence going down the donor route.

I am super pleased to be on this thread though - I had a real wobble between abotu 7 months to now - in that everybody around me was getting pregnant and I always knew past 4-5 months this would be a long journey - I really wanted to be around like minded people who understood the struggle.. and oh my, what a stuggle it has been!

((hugs everyone)) I need to read back, but tomrrow is my day off, so I'll do it then!
xx

2ba3c

BZ, I've found the last month - although we've not been trying - the not peeing on a stick or not temping has been so WONDERFUL for my body and mind. Hope the NTNP helps for you xx

TTC40

http://www.felopio.com

This isn't a link to a rude page!

Anyone heard of this/ know anyone who has tried it?

I'm going to a reflexologist next week for Arvigo massage & she has said she will talk about it.

Primmer

BZ - I love the way you are thinking about why it hasnt been the right time and I do feel that there is something in that.

Ttc40 - not heard of it but seems like its worth finding out more about.

tea_lover

BZ - that makes perfect sense to me. Hugs to you and your OH. Hope the funeral plans are all going ok xx.

Hello ladies - we have our first FS appt next Tuesday so thought I'd pop pver here and introduce myself *waves nervously*.

We've been TTC for about 3 years, on and off. I've been off the pill for that time, but there's been some operations and treatment for endo in that time so we haven't been 'properly' trying the whole time. I've never had a BFP though so something's not working!

I've got quite severe endo, and possibly PCOS. OH hasn't had any tests yet. Neither of us have children.

So hello everyone... I know a few of you from the TTC thread already and I'm sure I'll get to know the rest of you v soon! Hope everyone has a good day.