The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

staffiecat

Hello all,
Sorry I haven't been on for a while, I have had flu ! Still recovering but finally up out of bed and feeling nearly human again.

Bigzippy and Anmarj - sending huge hugs to you both.
Primmer - hope you get the HSG next month honey. It can be very frustrating waiting for the various appts to come through.
QQ - fabulous news. I am still expecting that dream I had about you to come true
Chickpea - would DH ever agree to IUI?
Countrybum - enjoy NYC

Latest for me is...... FS has agreed to refer us for IVF :T:T:T
Finally! Nearly broke down in tears when he said that, its been such a long journey already! We have to re-do lots of tests and then he will send the referral so I expect that to happen early June.

Hugs to everyone else, hope you are all ok.
xx

Primmer

Staffiecat - hugs for flu, I have had a bad cold this week and that's been bad enough! Yay for ivf referral, hope you don't have to wait too long.

Anmarj and BZ - big hugs, thinking of you both.

QQuaver

staffiecat wrote: »

QQ - fabulous news. I am still expecting that dream I had about you to come true

Keep waiting:D

Latest for me is...... FS has agreed to refer us for IVF :T:T:T

Yay!!!:j:j:j

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster

Hi all,.

I haven't posted in a while but I have been lurking and keeping up to date with you all.

Just to recap - I had successful IUI (2nd time) in october but it was discovered to be ectopic in November and was removed by Salpingectomy (the tube was saved). I was told to wait until TTC again and I had my first appointment this week with the FS since the op.

Now this is where it gets interesting. In the 6 months since I had the operation I have had no follow up or feedback.Only after talking to the FS r and he read through my notes from the surgeon and looked at pictures of my Op but it seems that my left ovary has clubbed fimbria. (The egg travels from the ovary to the fallopian tube with the help of a fringe/fingers called fimbria). Any damage or lack of these fimbria means the egg goes nowhere.So I have eggs and I ovulate from that side but nothing more. I would never have known about this if I hadn't had the op (I assume a lap would also detect this) and I haven't even heard of this problem before. I was wondering if anyone else had? I am also angry that no one thought to tell me after the operation what they had found.

I asked if there was any surgery I could have to fix it but the doctor advised against this so I have to rely on my right ovary and tube (which now is more at risk of another ectopic). They are putting me through for IUI again (and I get 4 chances again as when I was re-refferred it takes you back to the beginning) but I really can't see the point of it. I am seriously considering going private now. The doctor was next to useless and rude and when I asked what the chance of me conceiving with IUI was he responded that they wouldn't try it if there wasn't a chance.

I am 35 in 3 months - the cut off age for donating my eggs for free IVF. I know that if I go down this road I can wave goodbye to any NHS treatment. I'm so confused now.

QQuaver

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster wrote: »

left ovary has clubbed fimbria. (The egg travels from the ovary to the fallopian tube with the help of a fringe/fingers called fimbria).

Fimbrial phimosis? I've heard of it. The fallopian tube fingers has problem picking up the egg.

I am 35 in 3 months - the cut off age for donating my eggs for free IVF. I know that if I go down this road I can wave goodbye to any NHS treatment. I'm so confused now.

Will it void NHS treatment?
I'd go for IVF now, as you only have 3 months left 'till 35.
But even with IVF, there's still a chance of an ectopic:(

fluffnutter

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Hi all,.

I haven't posted in a while but I have been lurking and keeping up to date with you all.

Just to recap - I had successful IUI (2nd time) in october but it was discovered to be ectopic in November and was removed by Salpingectomy (the tube was saved). I was told to wait until TTC again and I had my first appointment this week with the FS since the op.

Now this is where it gets interesting. In the 6 months since I had the operation I have had no follow up or feedback.Only after talking to the FS r and he read through my notes from the surgeon and looked at pictures of my Op but it seems that my left ovary has clubbed fimbria. (The egg travels from the ovary to the fallopian tube with the help of a fringe/fingers called fimbria). Any damage or lack of these fimbria means the egg goes nowhere.So I have eggs and I ovulate from that side but nothing more. I would never have known about this if I hadn't had the op (I assume a lap would also detect this) and I haven't even heard of this problem before. I was wondering if anyone else had? I am also angry that no one thought to tell me after the operation what they had found.

I asked if there was any surgery I could have to fix it but the doctor advised against this so I have to rely on my right ovary and tube (which now is more at risk of another ectopic). They are putting me through for IUI again (and I get 4 chances again as when I was re-refferred it takes you back to the beginning) but I really can't see the point of it. I am seriously considering going private now. The doctor was next to useless and rude and when I asked what the chance of me conceiving with IUI was he responded that they wouldn't try it if there wasn't a chance.

I am 35 in 3 months - the cut off age for donating my eggs for free IVF. I know that if I go down this road I can wave goodbye to any NHS treatment. I'm so confused now.

Push for free IVF anyway, whether or not you donate. Not sure why you're entitled to IUI but not IVF. Even if you don't meet the criteria you can independently appeal to your PCT. If you do this, make sure you include the details about your left ovary - they're pertinent and an irrefutable argument for why IVF will suit you better than IUI. And not just 'suit' you either. As you no doubt already know, ectopic pregnancies are more than the sadness of a lost baby - they can be incredibly dangerous and clinically I'd have thought it safer for you to have IVF than IUI.

QQuaver

CCM, since the 2nd IUI worked, it may work again. And if it doesn't, would the NHS offer you free IVF? In that case, I wouldn't forfeit those chances with one egg donation IVF.

Nicki

That is such a hard decision to have to make CCM. My thoughts are:

1. What is the cut off age in your PCT for IVF on the NHS?
2. How many IVF attempts will they fund?
3. How many private attempts could you fund?

If the cut off age for NHS IVF is older than 35 and at the moment your PCT offers 3 attempts rather than just 1, then I would definitely try the IUI first, with the option of moving on to NHS IVF in the future, particularly if the NHS option would also allow you to freeze surplus eggs for a subsequent FET, which would cut the costs of future private treatment significantly if you needed it (eg for a sibling after a successful NHS conception )

If there is a risk you would not get NHS IVF treatment at all, then I probably would go for the egg share option.

If you would only get one attempt on the NHS, it is probably still worth waiting for that and trying the IUI first, because at least you have a chance of having embryos left over for a future attempt, and all your eggs will be fertilised giving you a higher chance of conception.

Most clinics have a policy where if you don't respond well to the drugs and produce enough eggs to share, that they will cancel the cycle. So the worst case scenario would be that you went for the egg share immediately, generated 4 usable eggs, which would be adequate for your own purposes but not enough for an egg share, so the cycle was cancelled or you had to privately fund at the last moment, and you lose your NHS eligibility as well. So the safest option in most cases would be to use your NHS options first IMO.

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster

Hi,

Thank you for your respnses.

I have just looked at the PCT website and it says

* IVF will not be funded for those with a history of 3 private Cycles or more
* Previous private Cycles are not affected by the 1 eligible Cycle of IVF except where they have had 3 Cycles of IVF or more.

Now I'm confused. I assumed private would negate NHS treatment but I am not sure where I heard that from. I think I will have to call up the clinic or my GP and find out.

My PCT offers IVF (1 cycle) up until 40.

We could afford 2 attempts at this moment in time but that would be all our deposit for a house gone. (the Baby v House is not really an issue - baby every time).

Also when an eggsharing clinic says the eligability of the sharer is 18-35 - is that until the end of your 35th year?

QQ - my clinic said that as they offer 4 rounds of IUI before IVF I am back to square one and effectively doing my first round of IUI again. Also they don't schedule an appointment to go over failed IUI's until you have done 2. I wonder if they will even go through with the IUI if I only get follicles on the left hand side.

I hadn't heard of Fimbrial phimosis - the doctor drew me a picture to describe it and showed me the Op pics. Like I said he is a bit useless. I had to google to find out more.

Fluffnutter - I agree with you about the risk. I asked if I had a greater chance of ectopic now and he said yes.

I won't be going to another appointment without OH like I had to this week. He could have asked the questions that I was in too much of shock to ask.

Nicki

I think you should check with the clinic you want to use about the egg sharing criteria CCM. The only ones I know about you have to be under 35, so eligible up to your 35th birthday, but that might not be universal.

But that makes the decision a bit easier maybe?

You could do one egg share IVF cycle before your time to do so runs out which hopefully works. If it doesn't (or before you try it if you have more time than you think), you can do 4 IUIs which have worked for you in the past, but if they don't, you can then have a free NHS IVF cycle which might give you some frozen embies. If after all that you still need help, you can potentially fund 2 more full IVF cycles privately (and maybe 3 if they are FETs?) So even if you don't conceive naturally in the meantime, you have potentially 4 or 5 chances via IVF and 4 via IUI.

Good luck