The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Maddie

Hi all,

I've not been on here for quite a while as not much has been happening ttc wise. Had 1st IUI last Aug during which they found a polyp. Had that removed in Dec and now we're finally in the middle of the 2nd IUI attempt. Had the procedure yesterday, 2 good size follicles and 1 small, so were told there's a risk of triplets and I coiodnt uopd back a big smile even though I know that would be risky etc. Next 2 weeks are going to be hard, our chances are much bettrr this time round but I keep trying to remind myself that the success rate is low and focus on the fact I'll be having another IUI in April and then ivf in July.

Sorry to read bad news on here, I hope everyone is coping ok xxx

onestep

Hope the dildocam was alright GTS?

no hangover here It's been an emotional couple of days, usually I'm good at keeping everything buttoned up, but no chance of that atm. I had a lovely email from the vicar (I'd told him about the cycle, and asked for prayers, so I told him when I got the negative) which made me cry some more. And actually today I feel kind of calm about it all. Still so so sad it hasn't worked, but calm in the knowledge that we (DH, DD & I) *will* be ok, whether or not we are lucky enough to have another child. Our best chances now lie with a full IVF cycle, which at the moment we just cannot afford. In my (possibly temporary!) calmness, I'm thinking that we have the spring off from full-on ttc, concentrate on getting healthy, losing a bit of weight, starting up our holiday let business, and saving some money. Then hopefully by the time summer comes, we'll be able to look at the finances again, and maybe go for an IVF cycle. I know I've said previously that it wasn't for me.. but we've come this far that IVF seems not much further. DD said today that maybe we should just go to a home and pick up a child there, 'one who doesn't have a family, mummy'.. think she's been watching too much Tracy Beaker!! :eek: Note to self: must limit her TV time...

Sorry this is so long. I'm just venting I think. I do hope everyone else is ok. There *is* hope still..

xxxx

chickpea

Good luck Maddie - here's hoping at least one of those follies was a good one!

++++++

One step - that sounds like a plan. Good to think ahead - I'm a bit tied up in this month and 'what if' thoughts, but I should know the outcome by Saturday - then I can start to think things through longer term.

Being healthy/eating better/less is definitely part of that plan. I've lapsed into bad food habits recently - eating for 2 again..

I did go for a 'power hike'! at lunchtime yesterday through the fields near my workplace - a bit cold but it was lovely to feel the wind in my face and smell the chlorophyll. Life does go on.

+++++++

I'm CD26 now - still no interesting symptoms..

Cake4brains

Forgot to say welcome missdaisies

Hope your new job is taking your mind off things as much as it can Juju xx

Lots of luck Maddie, got my fingers crossed for you xx

Onestep, its good that you have a plan to move forward. If this Fet fails for us, our future sounds very much like yours (minus the holiday lets!)

I am determined I am going to win a huge amount on the lottery and then none of us ladies on here will have to worry about the cost of treatment

Chickpea, got my fingers crossed and will be waiting for your result on saturday, lots and lots of luck xx

gettingthereslowly

Turned out i didnt have to have dildo cam. Had results instead. Bloods were ok and showed that i ovulate. HSG showed one clear tube and slight spillage on the other side. She said that there was nothing to show that there was a blockage etc and was happy with the results. It took a phone call to the lab to get DH results. They were all ok but motility was borderline. They want another sample but think that she will be referring us to the heath in cardiff as unexplained fertility. DH was thrilled but im a little gutted which is strange! After 3 years of TTC i wanted to get a reason or indication of why it hasnt been happening.

chickpea

Getting there slowly - have you had your AMH level tested? It's often 'the reason' behind unexplained infertility - at least it was for me..

You may have to go private for that one, but it's not pricey - we paid £80 at MFS.

chickpea

So anyway, in the meantime...blood.

jujugaboo

Good luck maddie and chickpea.

Sorry onestep you are feeling down.

When do you decide enough is enough? with 4 failed IVFs 2 of which we have paid for and still not a hint of anything implanting. Is it ever going to happen or is my high NKCells just going to keep killing the embies.

Work is so busy and have so much info to take in I am not thinking much about my loss, apart from those few times at work when I am on my own I think this is not what I should be doing, I should be at home looking after children.

lisawood78

Hi Jujuj.
I really don't know when you say enough is enough. I thought i'd got to that point after 4 goes, then after 6 and then again after 8 yet we still have a review appointment at our clinic next week to talk about what we can do next.
In that 8 we have had a chemical (round 6) and an ectopic (round 7) As you know we have immune issues and a blood disorder also.

It all depends on if you and your OH can carry on both physically, mentally, emotionally and of course financially, but only you can decide that and IMHO you can't make that choice yet, you need time to move on from this time, to grieve and come to terms (as much as you can) with it not working.

I can honestly say I feel your pain and I am so sorry that you are going through this agony.

Hugs x

gettingthereslowly

chickpea wrote: »

Getting there slowly - have you had your AMH level tested? It's often 'the reason' behind unexplained infertility - at least it was for me..

You may have to go private for that one, but it's not pricey - we paid £80 at MFS.

Thanks. Ill have a look into it now xx