The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

sarahs999

Winky, so so sorry, I feel your pain - have been there more times than I care to think about. Please PM me if you would like to talk.

Sx

Primmer

Onestep - so sorrry that af turned up, take some time for yourself and oh.

Winky - huge hugs - I am so sorry, there aren't words to make it right but I just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you and dh. Just be there for each other and I agree that at times like this life does seem unfair.

epsilondraconis

So sorry Winky.

I don't know what to say. My wife and I lost our little girl at 20 weeks and it was by far the worst day of our lives.

Just being there for each other will hopefully help you both get through it. Our thoughts are with you.

chickpea

So sorry everyone - so sad on here at the moment.

Life is pretty cruel sometimes Winky, you must be all over the place. Even harder to cope with it when you have a little one in tow, and life just has to go on, when all you want to do is cry/grieve.

chickpea

onestep wrote: »

Well there we are. AF found me too.

Sorry. If only there was a way to hold back the crimson tide sometimes.

++++++++++

I'm on CD24 (11dpo) here with zero symptoms..

Mood of the day: pessimism.

Cake4brains

Hugs Onestep and Juju xx

So so sorry winky, life is just not fair xx

nottslass_2

So sorry to read all the sad news over the last couple of days.

The only way to survive the cruel journey of infertility is to never loose hope - remember miracles can & do happen.

I've posted this before (a friend sent it to me after failed IVF)


I hope it gives hope to everyone who haven't read it before :



There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know I will be better

I will be better not because of genetics or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and I prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child . I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover, I will marvel at this miracle everyday for the rest of my life

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, a friend and a sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tired by the fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall

I have prevailed
I have succeeded
I have won

So now, when others hurt around me I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs,

I listen

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten, as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learn a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes

I have learn to appreciate life

Yes I will be a wonderful mother


nottslass x

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster

Winky I am so sorry for your loss. Your sentence of the world stopping still brought tears to my eyes. It truly is the hardest moment to live through.

Hugs to Onestep and Juju.

I'm getting back on board the TTC train now - tentatively - CD14. Awaiting my re-refferral to the FS. It seems quite odd that my clinic discharges you as soon as you get PG, especially the risks involved up until the 12 week mark.

I have a work colleague that is 2 weeks ahead of where I should be. The next 4 months will be a constant reminder.

missdaisies

Hi

I am wondering if I can join in, I have read through some of the posts and my heart goes out to you all.

We have been properly 'trying' for about 20 months, but were not preventing for around 2 years before that.

We have been telling ourselves all this time not to worry, it'll happen at somepoint but it never has and last month when af arrived 4 days late i was so upset, my heart was breaking.

Anyway we have first appointment at gp tomorrow and im not really sure what to expect or what happens from this point onwards.

sorry, I have rattled on a bit, I'll stop there, but I look forward to getting to know everyone.x

fluffnutter

missdaisies wrote: »

Hi

I am wondering if I can join in, I have read through some of the posts and my heart goes out to you all.

We have been properly 'trying' for about 20 months, but were not preventing for around 2 years before that.

We have been telling ourselves all this time not to worry, it'll happen at somepoint but it never has and last month when af arrived 4 days late i was so upset, my heart was breaking.

Anyway we have first appointment at gp tomorrow and im not really sure what to expect or what happens from this point onwards.

sorry, I have rattled on a bit, I'll stop there, but I look forward to getting to know everyone.x

What to expect:

Blood tests first off for you, missdaisies, to make sure you're ovulating and that there's no other obvious reason why you've not yet fallen pregnant.

If those show something obvious, the investigations may well stop there and you'll be offered some treatment and told to see how it goes for a while.

If tests are OK, you'll have a straightforward pelvic exam and possibly an ultrasound to check for things like fibroids. This takes seconds.

Your OH will be referred for sperm analysis to make sure a) he produces enough and b) that they swim in the right direction and not round and round or just lie there lazily (this is called motility).

If nothing is found during the above, you'll probably be referred for either an HSG test (where they squirt dye up your mooer to check that it can travel unimpeded up your fallopian tubes) or a laparoscopy and dye (similar but entails a small operation under a GA).

It's difficult to predict what can or will happen after all that, because it very much depends on what they do or don't find. Bear in mind that all the while this is going on you could well fall pregnant so don't stop trying.

All the above should be offered as standard on the NHS. If you end up needing more intensive treatment, e.g. IVF, then whether you pay or not depends on a number of factors, for example, age, where you live, whether you or your OH already has kids, your weight, etc.

I've not gone into any detail regarding what types of intensive fertility treatments there are, simply because a) you're not there yet and b) you'll get lots of good advice from your GP/consultant should you need referring.

Good luck. It seems really daunting and frightening but you'll get through it, promise x.