The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

QQuaver

Kitten, being childless is one thing, but being childless and out of work is even worse, so I'm sticking with my job:o

As for IVF, I didn't mentally prepare but just made the plunge. It was a lot easier than what I imagined. I found I didn't mind injecting myself at all, had no side effects to speak of. Was disappointed when it failed though:o

Also, my body took a lot of time to recover, which I was very amazed of.
1st cycle after IVF, I didn't ovulate, 2nd cycle I did, but don't think I had much of an egg (not much cm), and this is my 3rd. I'm ovulating late.

If you could self finance it, then I would. Egg ages every year, so earlier you try, better chances of it working.

Would you like to try IUI first?

Good luck:)

staffiecat

Hi everyone,
Its been a long time since I posted, I hope you are all well and hello to those of you that I don't know !

To recap on my story, have been ttc for 4 years, mc in 09 and consultant won't refer me for IVF until next year. I've been on clomid and fsh, neither worked. Had tubes unblocked and diagnosed with pcos and a malformed uterus too.

We took this year off worrying and contemplating ttc to try and give ourselves a break - which has helped. However its amazing that as the consultant appt drew nearer all the feelings from last year came tumbling back ! We continued bd'ding of course but nothing naturally happened unfortunately.

Had appt with consultant a few weeks ago and they are now going to do a lap to test for endo and to drill some holes in my ovaries (yuck). I am very nervous, has anyone had this done before? I am not sure what to expect. The consultant was very jolly as ever and suggested once again that I would be highly fertile following this, of course that is what they suggested after I had my tubes unblocked and again when I went on clomid and fsh....

Anyway, I am now awaiting the appt for that procedure and then I will be left to try for another 4 months and then if nothing has happened they will refer me for IVF. Saying lots of little prayers now. Just one little bean, please please please

Lots of hugs to everyone
s
xx

Nicki

I had my ovaries drilled when trying to conceive the first time. It helped to the extent did start to ovulate and have a period, but we still needed fertility drugs and an iui to successfully conceive that time. Since then, however, I've never gone back to not ovulating and menstruating even though scans and blood tests show mildly polycystic ovaries and I have conceived naturally since then (thought takes a lo time for us as we have male issues too). So on the whole I'd say the op was successful for me, just not immediately.

As for what it's like, dead easy. No worse than a laparoscopy or a hysteroscopy. I took a couple of days off work afterwards so I could recover in peace but don't recall any pain, just a little bloating and that usual post GA feeling.

Good luck

must_try_harder_2

Kittendreich wrote: »

Long time lurker here...just wanted to pop up with a question - hope that's ok. Finally made it onto the NHS waiting list for IVF after ttc for 3.5 years (undiagnosed infertility - everything 'appears' fine). Annoyingly will be another 2.5 years before NHS treatment (although v thankful there is any at all!) so thinking about trying to finance one shot in the meantime.

I know where I live if you fund one cycle yourself you lose all eligibility for any future funding from the NHS! Which is the most ridiculous thing ever in my opinion. However it's something you should definitely ask about before paying for a cycle yourself. If this isn't the case where you live I would definitely fund one cycle yourself in the meantime, if you can afford to.

Regarding the job. I know people who have been stuck in a job they don't like for years because they didn't want to leave and lose maternity benefits. But if they'd left at the time they would have been in a new job plenty long enough to qualify for full maternity benefits and they would be earning more money and have a job they like. I know I wouldn't stay in a job I didn't like for those reasons, especially because I feel you're more likely to conceive if you're genuinely content in other areas of your life.

jiblets1

With regards to moving jobs, the best thing the fertility counsellor ever said to me (a bit late) was that you have to tend to all areas of your life, because they will continue with or without a child in your life. I stopped looking for new jobs when we started ttc, and it was another 3 years before we fell pregnant. If I had investigated properly I would have realised what I now know, that there were ways around it for me. Eg, I could leave my job as long as I got another teaching job in the same authority. I could have had the change that I needed when I was only 2 years in my job. Now it's years later and I'm still there.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that a baby in your life isn't the only thing that can give you happiness. Don't forget to look after the other things that give you joy, and to ditch the things that take it away.

jujugaboo

I agree with must_try_harder Kitten, I was told also if i funded an IVF I would lose my NHS entitlement. Luckly we were just about to pay and then we were next on the list even though we were told we had a 2 year wait, less then 6 months we were up. If you can afford it then go for it as the younger you are the better.

I am also in a job I dislike but can't seem to leave because of the IVF situation, at least my boss knows whats going on. The tought of starting a new job and telling them i need time of for IVF doesn't go down well I'm sure but again i have been in the situation for about 4 years now. I keep saying after the next attempt I will move but never do. My job is easy as its dead quite and there is nothing to do so I don't have stress and I am left on my own to do whatever I like really.

Six weeks till I go to Vegas and get married and then I will be all focused when I get back for attempt No. 4, with maxmium stim drugs and steriods, can hardly wait!

jiblets1

You can certainly retain your NHS cycle after self-funding in some areas, as I know that I could in my area. So, as previous posters have said, make sure you check...

Kittendreich

Thanks to all for their input (keep it coming!) - I don't know where the 'Thank You' button is...

Fortunately where I am the NHS rules are a bit more favourable than many other places - so I can self fund while waiting and not lose my place or entitlement (the only issue being if the IVF itself shows up something that would make future attempts of no use medically). After one NHS 'shot' you go back to the bottom of the waiting list and by the time I came up again I'd be over 40 and not eligible! I'm in Scotland and the SNP had in their manifesto to work towards a maximum 12 month wait for IVF - so I'm hoping they keep to their word & get on with it while they are in power & it is still relevant to me!

We can't really afford IVF, but I'd rather do it when I was younger (I'm just shy of 35) to get the best chance of success and also I'd rather get through all the treatment that is possible sooner so we can 'give up' ttc knowing we've done everything we can & try to deal with it and move on in life (sounds easy when you type it!).

I was reassured that not everyone has terrible side-effects - I kind of assumed everyone got it all as that is all you ever hear. I'm not that phased by injections so I'll hopefully cope with that - it was more the hormonal impact and trying to keep a normal life going while feeling so on edge and emotional (especially as not that many people will know what is going on).

Godd Luck to everyone at all the various stages we're at!

Cake4brains

ginvzt wrote: »

How did they measure your egg quality? AMH doesn't say how bad or good your eggs, only the reserve.

My AMH is 1.49, and I was told if I was referred now by NHS I would be refused treatment. I was told to go for donor eggs as my chances are very low of having a baby (consultant said less than 5%).

I stuck to my guns, and we did another IVF with my own eggs, and I had embryo transfer this morning. I was on 6 ampoules of Menopur (max dose), and they collected 10 eggs. Last time I had 1!!!!! 7 of those fertilised (they told us 6 the following morning, but when we saw the embryologist this morning, she said another one fertilised by that afternoon). One of them was very good quality, and other close behind. We had 2 transferred. There might be none to freeze, as they wouldn't freeze embryoes unless they were excellent quality.

All I wanted to say, don't give up your hope. There are many stories of success with low AMH.

Thanks Ginvzt, not sure now what he said about the quality of my eggs. Was positive he mentioned the quality but then again it was all a bit of a blur after he mentioned the quantity and the word menopause

Just looked at the drugs invoice and there are 30 amps (75IU) of Menopur. Does that mean I'll be on 1 a day? Sorry, not very clued up on this

Hope your 2ww is going as well as it can, and quickly xx

Kittendreich wrote: »

it was more the hormonal impact and trying to keep a normal life going while feeling so on edge and emotional (especially as not that many people will know what is going on).

Godd Luck to everyone at all the various stages we're at!

Welcome to the thread kittendreich, I always thought I was quite tough when it came to emotions etc but these last few weeks I've been a nervous wreck. And thats before we've even started treatment

Tabatha_Kitten

Hi Cake.
Ive just looked at mine & I have 30 Menupur too but the sticker on the box says I have 4 vials each day.