The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Nicki

Would you be able to defer your start date under the circumstances? Stay in your old role for an extra week, then take a couple of weeks sick leave for the IVF, then start in the new role with a clean sheet? Do you have an HR department you could discuss the options with?

PinkPeach

My work has just had a massive restructure where we all had to re-apply for jobs. Everyone is due to start their new roles on 1st August so in light of this I don't feel that delaying my start date is an option as I'd already agreed to start then (although that was before I knew when the IVF would be happening). We do have an HR department so perhaps I ought to discuss things with them, although I dont' want them to tell my new manager why I'll be off work - the process is stressful enough withought other people knowing if thats possible.

nichart20

Hello,

Lots happening here

SK - Yey so pleased to hear your starting lots of luck keep us updated how your getting on x x

Runner - so pleased to hear your starting your FET how many snow babies do you have x x

Lilo your appointment with zita sounds very positive, a lady from a IVF forum I go on had a very low AMH and was told she needed donor eggs but she wanted to try with her own and is now pg (think I have told this one before )

Juju 9 vials!!! not suprised you felt wobbly, enjoy ladies day tomorrow it sounds fab x x

welcome cake4brains and onestep :wave:

hello to everyone else :wave:

I am going to EPU tomorrow had some really bad pain Friday and spotting after and then on and off for a few days after but could not get in before as they won't see you before 7 weeks I just hope everything is ok don't think I have it in me to get this far and something to be wrong (I was due to go see TT sat and gave my ticket away to rest in bed I would have just worried if I had gone though)

Nicki

PinkPeach wrote: »

My work has just had a massive restructure where we all had to re-apply for jobs. Everyone is due to start their new roles on 1st August so in light of this I don't feel that delaying my start date is an option as I'd already agreed to start then (although that was before I knew when the IVF would be happening). We do have an HR department so perhaps I ought to discuss things with them, although I dont' want them to tell my new manager why I'll be off work - the process is stressful enough withought other people knowing if thats possible.

Do you have to tell HR the full reason? I would be inclined to say a planned surgical procedure, and if pushed to say a gynaecological issue but not be drawn further on exactly what. If your GP will give you a line anyway for the 2 weeks off you need, its just logistics really for them about your start date.

Good luck with the IVF btw!

jujugaboo

PinkPeach - My first round of IVF I didn't tell my boss and just said I had hopsital appointments when I had the scans its only a few and normally early in the morning, so I don't know how flexible on your starting times are. Also you ask the clinic for earliest scan of the day. I took 2 and a bit weeks of as hols.

Second and third time I told my boss and he has been quite good, though he is probably seething. I took 1 week off sick, as thats all i get paid for, and the rest as holiday. I made up my time off in the mornings for scans by having shorter lunches, doesn't help that my hospital was an 1hr away.

You will need a day of for EC, if you are having a general you will need the next day off too and it depends when you have you transfer, whether they 2/3/4 day transfer. You really need atthe very least 3 days off after transfer to give youself the best chance.

Its a shame you can't delay your job, can you take a week off as holiday?

Nic - good luck tomorrow hope everything is ok. x

nottslass_2

PinkPeach wrote: »

Hi ladies, I had my first appointment yesterday with the consultant for IVF and I was wondering if any of you who have gone through this have any advice in terms of time off work for the procedure?

The consultant said that I'd need around 3 days off for the egg collection. The issue is that right at the time this is due to happen I am due to start a new job the week beforehand. The job is still within the same place but in another department entirely which means a new manager/not knowing anyone etc. I'm going to tell the manager this week that I'll need time off for an operation and that unfortunatley it's right when I've just started the job. I was wondering though how to explain it without having to tell her what its for? As it's not an inpatient procedure the hospital can't provide a sick note for me but mentioned that I can ask the doctor for one instead.

In general how have your employers been with the time you've needed to take off work for this treatment? The hospital told me that some women take the 2 weeks off as sick leave due to going for all of the scans etc. I don't want to do this as it doesn't look very good with a new job but equally I feel stressed that this is all happening at the same time and am concerned it could affect the success of the treatment. The job is a step up for me which is good so equally I don't want to make a bad impression but I feel it's impossible to know how I'll respond to the drugs and how I'll feel.

Any advice greatly appreciated:o

My clinic gave me a sick note for the 2ww - It simply stated that I'd undergone a "surgical procedure" and signed me off for a fortnight.

liloandstitch

Hiya chickpea, long time no see - glad you had a good time in Spain. Once you have shaken the sand out of your sandals, we can go back to talking organic - Ive even got bedding and knickers!!!!!!!!

Nichart - take it easy, Im sure its nothing to worry about (easily said I know) but everything 'loosens' down there, and can give you period type pains etc, it is disconcerting but its nothing to worry about. Hope the scan goes well. Thanks for the AMH story - things like that really help!

Lilo

Runnerduck

nichart, hope things are ok with you, take plenty of rest and look after yourselfxx

juju have a great day today xx

pinkpeach i was in a lot of pain after my egg collection and would not have been fit for work between that and my transfer, because i had planned a couple of busy days before having my 2ww off but i had to cancel it all, hope you can sort something out as you need to be stress free xx
welcome back chickpea, glad you had a good break xx

lilo i didnt even know you could get organic knickers!

had a brilliant night at take that, they were all good but Robbie was fantastic, the night went far too quickly.
Nichart, we have 3 frosties, and we have decided to have them put back one at a time, as they feel i am too high risk for more than one at a time, we will only have 2 if they cannot refreeze the one

liloandstitch

Glad you had a good time!

Knickers are unbleached organic cotton - but wouldnt win awards on the sexy stakes!
lilo

PinkPeach

jujugaboo wrote: »

PinkPeach -
You will need a day of for EC, if you are having a general you will need the next day off too and it depends when you have you transfer, whether they 2/3/4 day transfer. You really need atthe very least 3 days off after transfer to give youself the best chance.

Its a shame you can't delay your job, can you take a week off as holiday?

I'm so sorry, I don't understand what you mean by 2/3/4 day transfer. Do you mean a few days rest after the embryos are put back to give them the best chance? I'm clearly an IVF novice

Sadly I think for anyone to take time off before or during the mass migration into new jobs on 1st August would be frowned upon. I've booked an appointment with my doctor to ask about getting a sick note.

I'm mostly just worried as I feel that if I tell HR/new manager that they wouldn't class this procedure in the same sense as a 'proper' operation (although you need recovery etc) and I fear it could make things very difficult for me having just got a new job and then (fingers crossed) leaving for a bit as I'm pregnant. I guess it's fear of the unknown, not having been in this situation before I'm not sure what to expect of how I'll react to the treatment or how my work will react to my news. Wish I wasn't such a worrier!