The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Sugardonut

Thanks

It is amazing what they can do now, and i know we are lucky cos couples in our situation 20 odd years ago would have no help.

I know this is worse for him just now as he's feeling like this is his 'fault', but it's just going from bad to worse today. I really feel i just need to get out of the house and get some space, but a day of crying of and on has took it's toll on my face :eek:

Hopefully things will get off to a better start tomorrow. Might try one last time before bed to get rid of the atmosphere. I think he's just to angry to be interested just now, maybe he needs a few days...

I went to the supermarket yesterday and bought in lots of healthy food and vitamins, it's good to feel like we are doing something.

Sugardonut

As for talking to your DH, I wouldn't put all the blame on him, his SA sounds good. It could be something with both of you.
I think that's the best way to go about this.

TBH i was really suprised the doctor didn't want to do further tests on me (or even DH given the variability of his two results). I'm a bit worried that we will wait the two years and then find out i've got something wrong too. When i said this to the doctor, he said only possible issue that would affect ICSI is ovulation, and if this is an issue, the drugs will override this anyway?? Don't know what to think. DH has given up smoking, so is going back in six months anyway - might leave it till then and ask some more questions. It's all too much to take in when they first tell you.

Just now i'm looking at things to help his swimmers, preseed, concieve plus and mooncups!

Good luck with the ICSI, fingers crossed for you.

QQuaver

Sugardonut wrote: »

TBH i was really suprised the doctor didn't want to do further tests on me (or even DH given the variability of his two results). I'm a bit worried that we will wait the two years and then find out i've got something wrong too.

With ICSI, it'll override most problems, but I feel you are wasting 2 years when your tube could be blocked or have some cyst, fibroids etc that could be fixed and you could conceive naturally.

Any chance of getting a second opinion?

Sugardonut

It's worth a go. Given the first SA, i really think there's a fair chance there is something else. I def got really bad period pains, this has been on record for years, but i've just been given painkillers rather than tested for fibriods/PCOS etc. I might phone the hospital tomorrow and see what they say.

jiblets1

hey all - thought I'd drop by with a male perspective blog I've found. It's not been going very long, but it's really well written.
http://hopetobedaddy.wordpress.com/
As for me, my EDD is 2 weeks Tuesday - I hope to be back with some news for you soon.

liloandstitch

Goodluck jiblets, that has come round quick - hope all goes well.

Welcome to Sugardonut - I agree with QQ, I would push to get checked out. Period pain could relate to Endometriosis, and at least if you know you are okay or deal with whatever, you have 2 years to try and do it your selves. The count doesnt sound bad to me tbh, normal is only I think 40%, or maybe not even that high - certainly dont compare it to 100% cos no one gets that. I believe motility can be improved by all the normal things, like vitamins and minerals, giving up smoking and drinking and caffeine, just like it is for the ladies. Remember it only takes 1 sperm to make a baby, so you still have a chance each and every month. A lower count etc should just mean that it takes longer, not that it wont happen at all. Big hugs to you, I am sure it will work out. XXXXXXXXXXXX

VK 2008, will keep my fingers crossed for you re Monday - good luck XXXXXXXXXX

I hope everyone else is having a brilliant weekend. XXX

Lilo

QQuaver

jiblets1 wrote: »

hey all - thought I'd drop by with a male perspective blog I've found. It's not been going very long, but it's really well written.
http://hopetobedaddy.wordpress.com/
As for me, my EDD is 2 weeks Tuesday - I hope to be back with some news for you soon.

2 weeks! How time flies!!
Good luck!:j

And thanks for the link, have read it now:)
I don't think my DH thinks like that, as I don't make a big deal of Clomid/injections or HSG, or have explained to DH how bad his SAs were. He knows it wasn't brilliant, but know people with less get pg all the time.
Acupuncture sounds good:cool:

jujugaboo

Good luck Jibs - time has flown by

Sugar - I am also someone whos OH has very low motility and low sperm count and we are currently on our 3rd ICSI. It is hard on your OH as I can understand they feel its there fault. Hopefully with him giving up smoking and eating healthy things will improve. The waiting list for ICSI was 2 years too but our name came up within 8 months. Try and not get down and argue about it, its just the way it is. Hope you get some answer soon.

Fingers crossed for you VK.

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster

Sugardonut wrote: »

Hi everyone


We are both shocked and devastated. I'm gutted to have such a long wait ahead, and all for a 29% chance! I know i should be greatful there is an option, but just now i'm just so depressed. We handled it well together for the first few days, but now we are just bickering all the time and i'm crying more often than not. He's been great about getting tests done, and has given up smoking since his results, but i think he feels 'less of a man' and is so angry. I don't want this to drive a wedge between us, but don't know what to do.

Anyone any tips on what to do/say?

Hi Sugardonut and welcome.

My OH has a low(ish) count. We also had a few weeks of arguing and high emotion. But I believe you deal with these things in phases. After the shock you have the disappointment. You need to talk things through when he is ready. These things can take time to sink in. And he may need some emotional support from you. And as you said - your chances are only lower - not non existent . Spend some time together and practice babymaking - sometimes doing it for a purpose takes the enjoyment out of it. And while you do that explore other avenues, a second opinion, vitamins, OPK's to make sure you are hitting the right time. You will get through this. Incidentally is it your GP you have seen or have you been referred to a fertility specialist?

I had nice weekend with visitors, eating bad food and drinking too much. But after they left yesterday I went to Boots and bought the Ovulation predicator kit - its reduced so :money:. I also got the Pregnacare vits, and then I got home with me all fired up for OV and even managed a session yesterday afternoon (although too early for Ov I fell asleep afterwards and dreamt I was PG). So acupuncture tomorrow as well. I think I have the bases covered this month.:T

Sugardonut

Thanks all for the kind responses. I'm feeling much better today. After the advice from QQ yesterday i went down and had a chat with him, cleared the air a bit. We ended up having a nice night. Going to leave off the issue for a wee bit and then get a second opinion. Think we need a bit of time, and there's no rush with a 2 year wait anyway. Will got to the docs in a couple of weeks and see if they think i need further tests. Meantime just carry on as is but a bit healthier!

Good luck all who got their appointments through, fingers crossed for you.